Can someone help me please.

Posted , 18 users are following.

I have suffered from depression for 16 years and usually manage to keep it under control. I dip in and out of feeling down. My anxiety is daily but sometimes it is really bad. At the moment I just can't seem to get it together. I feel awful, I am fat, I can't bare the state of the world. I am using so much energy everyday trying to continue breathing it exhausting me. I hate myself and I know no one will probably want to write back to me as I am not worth it but I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone and useless. I can't talk to my friends because they don't understand. No one understands how bad I feel about myself, all the time. I think everything would be better if I could just disappear but I can't. I feel so trapped at the moment. None of my clothes fit me anymore I am so fat. I know everyone is judging me. I'm pretty sure my friends just keep me around because they feel sorry for me. What can I do to help?? I need some help!

0 likes, 15 replies

Report / Delete

15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Lucy I have been feeling like this for a few years myself so I know how you are feeling are to on any mediction as I am on citlopram have you spoke to your Dr about how you are feeling x
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Dear dear Lucy, I know it is very very hard but try not to think like you are doing at the moment. I can relate so much to how your mind is working at the moment because I am in a very similar situation. 

    Last week I was referred to psychiatric services by my GP who has been treating me ever since I went on his books 2 years ago ( my previous GP had been treating me for years) however following the referral I was contacted within 6 hours and seen within 3 days. When seen I told the assessor exactly what you have just said, I hate the state of the world yet I know I cannot do a thing about it, friends don't understand or ask after me, I said I would be better off dead. I even put a discussion on wanting to talk, I thought the same as you no one will respond but I was wrong yes they did.

    have you ever been diagnosed with depression by a Dr. Are you taking any prescribed medication, if yes then you may need to see your GP for a review.

    i must say since seeing my GP last week and the chat to psychiatric services I have felt a little better, not out of the woods yet I have to see a psychiatrist but at least I feel somebody has listened and action has been taken. 

    Don't think you are not worth everyone is.

    even if you think no one loves you remember GOD loves you.

     

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Lucy 

    you will always get suport here because people here have experienced similar things so they really do understand how you feel where as people who havnt just dont get it and hink you should just pull yourself together Ohh if only it was that easy .it really does drain all your strength when you are low but once you are at rock bottom the only way forward is up and you have to reach for inner strength and find someone who relly undersatands how you are actually feeling and help you .Meds arnt always the answer but normally a last resort ,the more you can do for yourself like reading up and exercise the better 

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Thank you everyone, I wasn't expecting such supportive replies. 

    To answer your question Diane - I have been to the GP several times. They put me on citalipram abour 5/6 years ago - it made me really paranoid and then one night I went to take them all in one go, so I don't think they are for me. I have had different types of councelling over the years. I took myself to a councellor for the first time when I was 13. I have also tried CBT- all of only seems to be a temporary fix. I always get paranoid that the therapist thinks I am lying or making it sounds worse than it is. I try and exercise which keeps me sane but at the moment just don't have any motivation so have been binge eating non stop. None of my clothes fit.. Is there something I am missing? Thank you all so much for your support xx

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      There are other anti depressants that can be tried, try discussing that option with your GP. Don't give up. I have also done counselling and CBT therapies over the years which have only had a short term effect.

      regads to the binge eating, I cannot really help but I can imagine it being very VERY hard, all I can suggest is try not to have the sweet sugary foods in the house. I know you know this, but just a small change can help. I have done slimming world I am not saying go because I need to loose a bit but cannot bring myself to go, but I am aware of the foods you can eat in abundance to try and fill you up so to reduce the risk of going for the bread, and sweet stuff.

      don't forget we are here to help stay with us and if you need further advice just ask. 

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Lucy, I have had the same problems and tried everything including religion as well as differant medication and nothing has really worked so I went today to the doctors and he stepped up my medication. The weight problem I have sorted out and have gone down from 16 stones to 12.7 stone, for that I eventualy nt on a Dr Hay diet with modifications and I stick to it, mind you it is easy to get carried away with it till it is almost an obsession. You must  also try to not think to much.The depression side is not so easy, I dont think you are ever realy cured and have to come to terms with it and not talk to much about it to people,  as most of the time they dont undurstand and that is more depressing. Try not to do the booze when fed up (or the noshing) try to find new friends who are not going to keep rabbiting  about depression. Be carefull else you can give yourself problems ie the doctor can stop you from driving giving you more problems. Try and find someone who you can get close to you and who does not judge you and who will look the other way when you F**K up. You can do it! take care Gus.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    My family don't understand, so I try to hide my feelings from them now. Over the years I have lost contact with friends as some didn't understand and it was too demanding keeping in contact when I was very low.

    It is a positive step to reach out for support, unfortunately many people are less than understanding and professional support is more helpful.

    I have seen counsellors before and not found it that helpful but I am seeing a counsellor again through my GP, I wish I had done sooner, as I have become quite isolated, it sometimes helps just having someone to listen when feeling very low, but I find it hard to engage with the cognitive behaviour therapy.

    I have been on citalopram for years but have gained over 3 stone and now have diabetes. That gave me a push to come off the tablets and have lost weight with a low carbohydrate diet. Initially I had more energy and was positive but now the anxiety and depression has come back and I am eating more. I always feel worse over winter and try to go for a walk on sunny days. Antidepressants help many people but I feel overall they have done more harm than good for me, the withdrawal symptoms were horrible - I had headaches and dizzyness and felt extremely anxious and irritable, couldn't concentrate.

    People often say diet and exercise helps, I did feel better when more healthy, but when I feel low it often the last thing I want to do. My counsellor says it is a vicious circle, less activity makes you feel worse, but I am struggling to find a way of getting out.

    I have spent a long time trying to understand why I feel like this and websites like this are helpful. I have anxiety and depression but feel there must be something underlying that has caused it and if I could understand it would help. Some days I feel more positive and in control of my emotions, then something happens and it all comes crashing down again. I am drinking a bottle of wine a night at the moment to take the edge off my anxiety, I know it doesn't really help and feel bad for doing it.

    I have just re-read this and didn't mean to ramble on so much about myself. I was going to delete it but hopefully there is something in there that might help.

    You must try not to think bad about yourself. I think people with anxiety and depression are more sensitive and worry more, but this makes them thoughtful and caring people that other people do value as friends.

    The most important thing to remember is the positive and better times you have had before and accept that the way you are feeling now will not last and it just something you need to struggle through, but in time you will feel at least a bit better.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      The weight gain is a problem but you can fill yourself up with foods that are low in calories, ie Salads, pulses, greens, beetroot, pulses, brown rice etc, and it cheers you up a bit when you loose wait, then you want to go for walks as you are pleased with yourself. Keep your head busy try not to think of depression and negative stuff and try to keep away from negative people. Try and find some things which you will suceed in, I dont know, perhaps study, you get the idea? I dont suppose your depression will vanish but it will be more managable. Doctors and health workers some times p me off as they have not experienced the pain so  that is negative, but of cource stay with them if they are doing you good. The booze can be a problem as when you are verry fed up you feel you have to knock yourself out, its a real fight that is as you have to find something else to take your mind off it. Now the most important thing dont moan to much to people about your problems as this they dont like and will avoid you, try to help them and smile and look cheerful even though you dont feel it. I started up  a health food shop to keep me busy at the time and always smiled at people and played with the kids so that took me out of myself, then you only have the evenings to worry about. Dont over work as I did, I ended up with a heart attack!These things worked for me, but as I said dont set your sights to high because if you dont reach your targets you will be more fed up.Well must go as I am going to a talk about something at the Universety and there is a buffet there so someone to chat with who I may never see again, that gives me a chance to practice being a human for the good times that are to come. Take care.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply and advice.

      I did not intend to highjack Lucy's discussion. Apologies if I caused confusion.

      I was trying to say I had similar feelings and hoped by repeating some advice I had been given and some things that worked and did not work for me would be helpful. Sorry.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Lucy,

    The best advice that I can offer you is to get your mind in a fairly good place before you think about weight loss. You have to deal with one thing at a time.

    I joined slimming world on a program called lighten up and got 12 weeks free which bump started my interest with losing weight I have gone on to lose 1 and a half stone since May 2014. Weight loss and self esteem go hand in hand but you have to get in a reasonable place mentally to even keep the black dog at bay for long enough to be able to think straight, which as we all know can be a total trial within itsellf.

    I was on Citilopram 20 but was concerned about weight gain and my dosage was dropped to 10.

    I felt rubbish last week because I had two weeks off over Christmas and gained 7lb, but tonight I have gone and found that 2lb of that has come back off, YOU CAN DO THIS! It is the easiest diet ever!

    Why do you save you are not worth it? I bet you are. And why would true friends be judging you? Are they all perfect? I bet they all have their own hang ups too! Don't be so hard on yourself, make one little change every day. You could start with something really simple like changing your milk to skimmed and using salad cream on sandwiched instead of butter.

    Do you always feel trapped or is that just during your low times?

    Sending you big hugs and loads of positives vibes, Rebecca x

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Lucy, firstly im sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I have also lived with depression and social anxiety for a number of years and understand how isolating and lonely it can feel. Your internal dialect has a huge impact on the way that you are feeling and it is common for feelings to spiral out of control. But you must remember that depression effects 1 in 3 people at some point in their life and you are certainly not alone in the way that you feel.

    The good news is that there are methods of combating and coping with depression. It is difficult to see hope when your mind is consumed with so many negative thoughts, and i have found that a self observation excercise can be helpful to sort of reset my thoughts. I start by asking myself the following questions.

    What am i feeling at this exact time?

    What am i doing in this moment?

    How is my breathing?

    After this I focus on not having any thoughts for 1 minute (this can sometimes be tricky so i find it helpful to close my eyes and count to 60 and think only about counting) and then i ask myself the following question. 

    What do I want for myself in the new moment?

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Oh of course we want to write to you, why wouldn't we?  We completely understand how you are feeling because we all have depressi9n and are here to support each other.  Please don't think that nobody cares about you.  That is just not true.

    I know exactly how you are feeling, believe me.  Yes depression takes away so much from us.  It takes away our self worth and makes us think we are useless and not worth knowing.  I have felt that too. 

    We can help by writing here to you and telling you that you are definitely not alone in your feelings.  It is very hard to like yourself when you have depression.  You think you are not worth knowing, and why should anybody like you?  It is the depression talking.

    You are a good and lovely person but this illness has made you feel worthless, but you are not.  I disliked myself so much, just like you do now.  We here understand how bad you feel about yourself, that is why this forum is here, so we can support each other. 

    No people would not be better off if you disappeared. 

    You are a good, worthwhile person.  Keep telling yourself that.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Go on a diet where you save money. You're probably eating too much food so eat half as much. Pack the rest for the next meal. Make sure you're eating nutritiously. If you have to buy clothes buy expandable clothes

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    HelloI have been working for 5 years.I am married to a 4 year old son.

    There is no money for him to send him to school.

    My income is not packed.So he asks me humbly to help me with my money.

    Your brother, who is so heartbroken, will be waiting for your help.

    Thanks.

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up