Can't deal With my mind anymore!!!

Posted , 5 users are following.

I've been diagnosed with bpd, but my depression is at its upmost right now I can't deal with the way I feel I just want to run away jump end this pain!! 

I have weeks when I feel this way but this has got to be the worst, I this time seems to be going on for the longest, I even tried to take antidepressants to try and trigger my hypo mania again but it didn't work, I feel so empty an useless!! I shouldn't be in this world I don't no why I was born. 

im smoking 25 fags a day, and the impulsivity to drink and to take drugs to feel good is becoming unbareable, I just want help from someone or to speak to someone.


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6 Replies

  • Posted

    CALL YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY tell him you are SUICIDAL and need immediate HELP.  He WILL help YOU.  
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    • Posted

      Jaye Marie, As VCSL says, call your doctor or maybe your mental health nurse. Another option - especially if you get desperate in the middle of the night when you can't raise any of the professionals - is to call a crisis line. The Samaritans are the main one in the UK, but you should be able to find one wherever you are in the world. They're staffed 24/7 by non-professional volunteers but they've all had intensive training and are used to helping people like you. And you can call again if it's getting to you a few hours later. You can also call them if you're just feeling desperate, even if you're not actually suicidal at the time. Pick up the phone and call somebody.
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    • Posted

      Jaye Marie, Can I ask how old you are? (But you don't have to answer if you don't want to.) Reason for asking is that I'm concerned as to why it is you don't have access to a phone.

      I've just checked out the Samaritans' website and I see they don't yet have their chat room up and running. They do, however, offer face-to-face facilities if you're able to get out, though some of them have quite limited opening hours. To find out, you'd need to google Samaritans, then select the option "Visiting a branch".

      However, your first option should still be to contact your doctor or other health professional. You say you have antidepressants, so I'm assuming you've been under medical care at some stage.

      I hope you'll soon find some help with this. No one in the world is ever useless or worthless, even though we all feel that way sometimes.

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    • Posted

      oI'm 19, and I do have a phone but can't use it aT the moment 

      I start group therapy in May but I want this feeling to go and the worst feeling is when it's inside you and you can't get it out or escape it, I'm a walking zombie with emptiness inside 

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    • Posted

      Hang in there, Jaye Marie. It's not too long till your group therapy starts.

      I was worried you might be in your early teens when you said you couldn't access a phone, but even at 19 things can feel very extreme. I especially picked up on what you said about not knowing why you'd been born. That's a surprisingly common feeling among young people, and one I can remember having myself.

      So who do you have around you that you can talk to? I'm wondering whether you're at college or living with your family. Once again - you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to.

      I'm glad to see that you've had the good sense to come on this forum anyway. That shows you're still thinking straight. No one on here can give you any concrete help, but this is a much safer place than some others.

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