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Hi! I'm very unhappy. I don't know if this is some kind of anxiety/depression or maybe psychosis... I often feel like some group of people are against me (usually people I like or people I want to be friend with) and that they have great reason to not like me/hate me. I ususally get ''paranoid'' and feel like even my best friend hides something but often I fast got over that and forgot about that ... but it's getting more and more often. Every day, another person ''has something against me''. And I feel like everyone knows that one thing about me that is enough to hate me Last week I was crying every day for hours and hours. And simply can't stop. I'm feeling extremly guilty for even searching something on google or for reading some blogs that wouldn't everyone. I'm feeling like my thoughts and mind are very wrong. I know that everyone have their good and bad thoughts and that is normal, but I feel like I'm very wrong person and deserves all this... I haven't hurt anyone in ''real life'' and nobody has ever told me that they hate me or that I'm wrong but I feel that they hide something all the time and that my life is a pure joke. I feel disgusted by myself and sometimes feel suicidal. I'm feeling guilt and shame all the time. I feel like I hurt people! But I know I didn't... but my mind maybe play tricks with me? I'm feeling more and more sad and the one of the worst things for me is that my family is very upset about me. They can't watching me crying every day it hurts you know. But I just can't help myself anymore. I even sometimes scream so loud like I want to run away from myself. It's not fair for my family. I'm feeling like this for years but now it's worse and worse. I'm not on any medication. Thank you for any answer!
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