1. Community
  2. Contraception and sexual health
  3. Sexual Health

Can't get turned on?

Posted , 4 users are following.

jas60518
jas60518

Hey there, I'm a 16-year-old girl and I'm having some real teouble getting turned on. It seems that anything less than severe BDSM or other weird fetishistic things just outright does nothing for me. It's not that I'm not horny (I'm horny near constantly) I just can't get aroused down there. Anyone have any tips? Thanks xx

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • johnC41
    johnC41 jas60518

    Posted

    Firstly, it is important to remember that people ar different and what you are describing, at 16, isn't a big surprise.  Your body may look physically developed but you probably still have quite a way to go before your hormones settle down and your brain finishes getting wired up ready for adulthood.  In the meantime,and before doing anything you may later regret, I suggest you relax about sex. By all means, when you are alone and in a quiet and safe place, take time to stimulate yourself and let your mind wander as it will.  Ultimately, I hope that you will learn that the best 'sex' comes as a result of a caring and loving relationship.  Go slowly towards sex at this stage of your life, you have many years in which to enjoy such experiences, and I have no doubt that you will.  Why rush and spoil it for yourself?
    • craig84609
      craig84609 johnC41

      Posted

      I couldn't agree more. At your age you are still developing and some self stimulation is fine but I would wait to have sex with a partner, because it opens up a new set of complications and worries such as STD's. When you meet the right person all these things will go away and you will be fine. but it takes the right person and there needs to be love for each other. In otherwords you love him and he loves you. There is a difference between love and lust. Lust is just wanting to have sex to satisfy the urge. Love is when you have a deep connection to that person and you want to express it by becoming one with them. True love is a beautiful thing and fetishes are not needed because you are both in love with each other and that is the turn on. If I can stress, please don't jump into sex at your age I waited until I was 23 because I had not met a woman that I loved enough to be with. That doesn't mean you have to wait that long but sometimes it takes a while to find that person you click with.
    • jas60518
      jas60518 craig84609

      Posted

      Thing is, I DON'T have a partner. I'm encountering this when I'm just trying to masturbate normally. Besides, being aromantic I doubt I'll find someone I I'm 'in love' with any soon. The problem seems to be that everything is just fine except my vagina just... won't respond.
    • craig84609
      craig84609 jas60518

      Posted

      When you least expect it someone will come into your life and everything will fall in place. You will see. Just don't push it be relaxed and patient. It is better as you mature. Don't let it consume you just go out with your friends and have fun. Love will come soon enough. Ok.
  • amy69366
    amy69366 jas60518

    Posted

    I know this is an older post yet wanted to see what you have figured out. I'm bipolar and have anxiety, not saying you do this is my problem. With these I can never get my head to just shut up and enjoy sex. Once I got into the bdsm scene for me it was as if a weight was lifted. I didn't have to think just feel and for the first time in forever can enjoy sex. Granted I'm not into the heavier side but I've heard a lot of women feel the same, they either need full loss of control or need absolute control. Then there's others that sexually are aroused and enjoy the mix of measure and pain. There is nothing wrong with bdsm and as long as you know your limits and are safe at all times it's fine. Now if you keep going because it's still not enough you may want to speak with a sex therapist or a regular one that's more willing to listen to all of this. Best of luck.

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.