1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Alcohol Consumption

Can't stop drinking any help??

Posted , 6 users are following.

Maple
Maple

Can't find my strength . I'm so lost I'm not a binge drinker I'm a daily . I made it 10 days last month after rehab. But you know..... What's next?? How many more blackouts till I do something horrible. I fall a lot I only know this though from the bruises. Willing to take any advice or just support.

34 and don't see 44 available for me.

Thanks Maple

2 likes, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • DreamDancer
    DreamDancer Maple

    Posted

    Hi Maple,

    may I ask you for a bit of background? I assume, alc was not the problem originally? It started somewhere else? Relationship? Family? Health?

    I have reached the state of "blackouts" and "bruises", but I managed to laugh it off. I am in a solid relationship, and my partner explains the bruises and fills in the blackouts.

    I'd happily give any personal advice at my disposal, knowing a bit more about your situation. In the meantime, feel severely hugged. You are not alone xxx

    • Maple
      Maple DreamDancer

      Posted

      Yes my boyfriend explains the blackouts and how I fell ...... The bruises.

      He is very kind to forgive me but I wish he was mad .

      My ex turned out gay , I was just a stupid pretty cover up for him. It hurt soo so bad.

      But I'm not angry anymore- just stuck drinking.

      I love my family but how long tell I lose them?

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 Maple

      Posted

      HI Maple. It does look complicated. One question if you do not mind: you have family; i.e. do you have children and if so what is the situation or relationship with them. Or parents? just wondering..we are here to help and DreamDancer made a very nice and professional reply. I probably cannot help since i went cold turkey 3 yrs ago and it went well but not to be done by most people since medical advice is crucial..we will try to assist you....all the best from Robin
    • DreamDancer
      DreamDancer Maple

      Posted

      Sounds like what was a short term solution is becoming a long term problem:-(

      And the more guilt you feel for not being able to stop and the more afraid you are that you are hurting your family and the you may lose them, the worse it gets. 

      Talking about it is a very good first step! Even if it is a ragtag bunch like us ;-)  Have you tried speaking to your family doctor about it? Not all of them are completely useless!

      Personally, I think that a new medication called Selincro could really help you to move forward. It sounds as if you are highly motivated, and the drug could just give you the edge you need. There are a couple of very helpful professionals who have "pinned" a list of useful information somewhere in this forum.

      May I ask what your favourite poison is? Spirit? Beer? Wine?

      Hugs,

      Jxx

    • Maple
      Maple DreamDancer

      Posted

      I'm on gabapentin and lexapro.

      My doc knows. But she don't know I started again- straight vodka.

      I am so upset depressed because I can't drive or be in public because my Anxity is too high and I get major panic attacks. I had a Counsler but most days I can't even ride passenger. I put myself in rehab , I left after 5 days 2,000 later I'm drinking again. I've spent 4-5 days twice locking myself in a hotel. I tried exercise reading and AA.

      My ex torched me with his crazy sex life / swinging parties and his gayness. I left my husband almost two years. Small town he dident want anyone to know so he payd me off for silence. But I did love him.

      One kid he's great 16 my hero. One great boyfriend and I'm keeping him he respects me.

      I think I'm gonna go crazy stuck in this house by my own anxiety issues. Boyfriend bought me a fancy new car ---- lol I've never drove it - what am I going to do- yes hungover as usual. Keep drinking to get over the hangovers but I've been hungover at lest 90% of this year.

      Thank you all for your replies. 💛

    • DreamDancer
      DreamDancer Maple

      Posted

      alcohol/lexapro/gabapentin sounds like a lethal mixture. I'm not a medical pro, but they appear to create a vicious circle all by themselves. You are certanly aware that alc is a very strong depressant and creates servere anxiety?

      I was a straight bourbon guy. About 1/2 a bottle a day, washed down with a few cans of lager. I functioned mainly OK during the day, but the nights were hell. A couple of hours comatose sleep, then waking up with palpitations, short breath, dry mouth, neuropathic pains, restless arms and legs, cramps etc.. The biggest (and most difficult) change for me, was to cut the spirit out of my drinking. I replaced the Bourbon with red wine and beer. At first, my alcohol intake was the same, around 20-25 units a day, but the anxiety attacks and the restlessness reduced drastically, eventually managing to restrict myself to 1 bottle of red wine. Not actually liking red wine helpssmile

      The point I am trying to make is that it can help to change habits, even if you still satisfy the demon. If you can't stand wine or beer, why not try to mix the Vodka with tonic or soda, adding increasing amounts of the soft component. Another little trick for me was to force myself to drink at least one big glass of water before going to bed. Helped a lot with the hangovers. Every little step out of the circle is a good thing. One step at a time. 

      Onwards and upwards! XX

       

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 DreamDancer

      Posted

      HI DreamDancer. Seems that you are changing to drinking less per day or week and how is it all shaping up? You have been through a lot I think and have some very strong side effects which are alien to me....i drank vodkan, strong cider and anything but did not get palpitations etc...still felt horrible and your mind set is no good since you always know that it is wrong and want to stop but can only think of when the next drink is coming....sorry for rambling on...is your story that you are lowering the drinking gradually? we are here to help and assists day and night...all the best: Robin
    • DreamDancer
      DreamDancer Robin2015

      Posted

      Long story...like everyones:-) In a nutshell, drinking too much (10+ units/day) for nearly 20yrs(4 yrs after HIV diagnosis), turning to 25-30 units over the last few years. Liver ticking along fine, socially functioning, retaionship stable. The awareness that it needs to stop is not enough. Clinical depression and low lvl anxiety got exacerbated by the drinking, getting gradually worse. Especially the anxiety attacks becoming unbearable and early onset fatty liver finally got me to DO something about it. The first and most difficult step was to say goodbye to my favourite poison, Bourbon. This made an enormous difference from day 1. No blackouts, no anxiety attacks and no unexplained bruises in the morning any more. Last week I started Nalmefene, and for the first time in 20yrs I drank less than 2 glasses of wine per day for a whole week. Hopefully, I will soon have a whole day without any alcohol at all. 

      Oops, that bec ame a rather big nutshell:-) Waffling over. All the best, Juergenxx

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 Maple

    Posted

    I used to function as a daily drinker at your age and thought I was ok.  I had periods of stopping 8-10 detox facilities....and finally one day I was able to say to myself...I've had enough....

    ​I hope that day comes for you.  Life is so much EASIER without alcohol.  I did have 8 years sobriety...so I know from experience...that life is easier.  One thing thou...my family didn't like me better sober because I CHANGED.  I stopped giving so much and started setting boundaries.  I was always afraid to set boundries.

    ​What helped me to stay sober during that time was a lot of counseling...doing healthy things..like exercise...reading....talking to people like "us" that were able to stay sober and learning how in difficult times.

    ​You won't lose anything else if you stop "losing" you.  The good thing about alcohol is once you stop using it...it only takes a few days (although those few days seem like eternity to some)....to begin to feel "normal" again.  And then if you cherish that feeling and don't let it go...life becomes better.

    ​If you manage again to keep ANY time sober (like your 10 days)...do not let it go....I think you have come to the right place.  Just keep posting your struggles and be honest with yourself and others...and possibly sobriety will come for you again.

    • anthony10903
      anthony10903 Misssy2

      Posted

      I especially like the part where you mention family had to accept the new you .I found this applied also at work as I no longer allowed myself to get taken for granted.I refused overtime.Everybody was expecting me to make up for lost time .I also set boundries.I never wanted to mention this before because it looks like I am blaming them.so thank you for that share.
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 anthony10903

      Posted

      Thumbs up

      ​I also started to walk in Managers office without guilt and say "Hey, I'm just not feeling that good today and I want to leave"....and it wasn't some sob story for me to leave so I could drink.

      ​It could have only been to come home...and lay down from the rat race of a job....and not feel GUILTY.

  • anthony10903
    anthony10903 Maple

    Posted

    You wll find the strength and You wil make it.Once this alcohol takes root your brain counters with its own chemicals to survive and keep your heart and lungs and muscles functioning.IT is not reset after short time .what I suggest is you got clean time in with rehab and 10 more days .Please try again .It took me countless detox and rehabs .Each time you will learn a bit more.You will then recognize when a relapse is coming close and you can get support from others .for example stress  and fear will switch to anger to protect you.if you feel angry about something especially the past. be aware and think backwards to what started this train of thought.RECOGNIZE-RELABEL-REVERSE-RESOLVE.write out what you are feeling then see what can be changed.If nothing then as this initiator of negatve thinking can be addresed with a mantra such as Move On when it begins .doing this habitually and as often as it appears will manually override.The emotional brain is trying to take you to safety.It is not aware of what an activity is .it is a program.if the reward system was intelligent it would not pull people into incredible feeling of warmth and comfort to fall asleep while driving.Try rehab again ,please.You can fix this.Most people dont make it after their first rehab .
    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 anthony10903

      Posted

      well done Anthony..a long and technal msg with lots of good advice for all of us. All the best and you seem to be over the worst and healing well!! Robin
  • Maple
    Maple

    Posted

    I'm replying to all:

    I'm on gabapentin and lexapro.

    My doc knows. But she don't know I started again- straight vodka.

    I am so upset depressed because I can't drive or be in public because my Anxity is too high and I get major panic attacks. I had a Counsler but most days I can't even ride passenger. I put myself in rehab , I left after 5 days 2,000 later I'm drinking again. I've spent 4-5 days twice locking myself in a hotel. I tried exercise reading and AA.

    My ex torched me with his crazy sex life / swinging parties and his gayness. I left my husband almost two years. Small town he dident want anyone to know so he payd me off for silence. But I did love him.

    One kid he's great 16 my hero. One great boyfriend and I'm keeping him he respects me.

    I think I'm gonna go crazy stuck in this house by my own anxiety issues. Boyfriend bought me a fancy new car ---- lol I've never drove it - what am I going to do- yes hungover as usual. Keep drinking to get over the hangovers but I've been hungover at lest 90% of this year.

    Thank you all for your replies. 💛

  • melanie46211
    melanie46211 Maple

    Posted

    Even if I can't help you much, I wish you all the best. 
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.