Can't stop late night binges
Posted , 5 users are following.
I've always had a weird relationship with food. as a child I was very skinny and sporty and as a teen i had periods where i wouldn't eat anything for days and periods where i would have ice cram and crisps every single day. I don't think i ever saw myself as other people did. I always felt so huge even though others kept on telling me how they wished they could be as skinny as me.
This year was my first year of college and the first 3 months i had lost a bit of weight and for once i felt good about myself. but after that i started eating, and eating, and eating and i gained back the weight i had lost plus extra weight. Now i feel horrible again. It's even worse, i am always scared to go outside because i don't want people to look at me. I feel so fat.
i started to try and eat healthier and workout. I go to the gym and eat healthy the whole day but as soon as i finish my dinner and am alone in my living room i start to binge. I feel like i can't controle anything and i eat whatever i find. After the binge, when i go to bed, i just feel like cring; I feel like all my efforts of the day are waisted and i feel really depressed.
What is wrong with me ?
how can i stop this habit ?
I would really like to have someone to talk to about this because i don't feel comfortable in telling my friends and family.
2 likes, 6 replies
kelly71703 moira998
Posted
Ho moira.
Sounds like your not getting enough during the day. Do you eat breakfast, lunch? And I mean a reasonable amount!!.
I used to starve myself all day and try and only eat vegetables and salads in the evenings.
As soon as I started eating I couldn't stop and would end up running to the late night supermarket and buying all the things I would deny myself. Bread butter, pies, biscuits,cake, chocolate, crisps and then spend hours binging and vomiting.
Not eating in the day was setting myself up. I was already very skinny and my body was screaming for food.
I am diabetic and at the time was very skinny. My dietician warned me that untill I put some weight on I would be very hungry and she was right.
If you don't have weight issues, is it boredom, loneliness?
Take care
moira998 kelly71703
Posted
Hi Kelly,
you are right I am probably not eating enough during the day but i am desperate to lose some weight as i can't look at myself without feeling horrible. I would say i have around 800-900 calories during the day but sometimes i eat "normally" and still have these urges.
It is true it happens almost every time I am home alone wich is pretty often as my parents travel quite a lot.
Lately tough i have been eating a more "paleo" based diet and it went well for the first 2 weeks, I didn't binge or purge but i feel like i am not losing enough weight. And this week i binged and purges twice wich got me really depressed.
I recently read a lot got about being veganism and am very interested (for ethical and enviromental reasons especially) plus vegans all seem very lean. I feel like this lifestyle could help me but the problem is that veganism is a high carb diet and i am "scared" of carbs. I feel like they are going to make me gain weight so I don't know what to do.
thanks for replying, it feels really good
kelly71703 moira998
Posted
Hi.
Vegas is right. Please get some help. You can't fight your own body but you can change your perception of it. I was doing this from age 16 till 28 so pretty much wasted the best years of my life. I tried to control my appetite with alcohol and now that is ruining my life instead. I litrally drink my calories now and am slightly overweight.
These things don't just go away and you will probably never be your idea of thin enough.
VegasHeart moira998
Posted
Hi Moira.
?
?I think something you could benefit from is making a food plan for yourself. If you make even a very loose schedule for what you plan to eat each day and when, it can help you pace yourself and you might be able to regain some control.
?I know it's hard to stop eating when it's not necassary, but remember that when it comes to losing weight, it's WHAT you eat and not how much you eat that matters. If you can find a fruit or vegetable or something slightly healthy that you really enjoy eating, you can snack on it constantly and you likely won't gain a pound.
?Remember of course, that this kind of thing is serious, and if you can't fix it yourself, you need to find someone who can help.
VegasHeart
Posted
moira998
Posted
Hi guys, sorry for not repling but these past few months I have been tring to avoid this whole issue. I am now a vegeterian (try to be vegan as much as possible but no pressure around it) and I eat way more clean. I have seen results so i am happy even though you were right, i dont think i will ever be happy with my body. I try not to overthink my eating habits but it is very hard. i avoid some social situations in order not to eat junk food. I still binge sometimes (1-2/week) but it isn't as bad and i feel like i always start binging once i have a taste of junkfood especially chocolate. I would like not to have any in my house but I still live with my parents. Do you have any tips not to end up eating these foods ? I am definitly not fully "normal" but i am better. I sometimes have panic attacks when i am served certain foods like pasta or cream and never end up eating that.
Thank you so much for your messages you cant imagine how much they have helped me.