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CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE

Posted , 5 users are following.

MSME
MSME

Hi all, I have been dx with M.E. for over a year now, the thing is when I got this (after a car accident) I searched for answers as to what I can do to help my-self recover, no cure, no help, nothing, but I read a lot of posts on here and everything I could to understand how to cope with M.E.  What I found was alot of other M.E. sufferers say rest, rest, rest,  That's what I did, in between caring for my son who has ADHD and ASD and 14 years old, and what I couldn't do, I thought my partner could do for him, but now we have Social services on our back and have put him on a care plan, What the hell, I am bloody ill, which I can't help, I feel so upset and vunerable and angry.  Thay want him to do "activaties"  or interests outside the home, he is a home body and I have tried to get him into this and that, but no he is not interested, and how the hell am I supposed to walk about and have all this energy at these "activaties" anyway is beyond me and a total mystary. I love my son with all my heart and I wish I were normal, to be able to do stuff, I can't even hoover the bloody floor, that sends me to bed for two days, same as shopping, walking the dog any type of chores etc, everything I try to do zaps what tiny energy I do have and I hit a brick wall, so sick and tired of it, What do SS expect super woman!!!

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • dawn97
    dawn97 MSME

    Posted

    Hi there I can tell by reading your post your at the end of your tether & I can't blame you !! You need help with your illness & with your sons illness ! Now I know that's easier said than done but you have a right to help ! I'm not sure where you live but if it's the uk you must go back to your drs & demand help !! I know you have no energy to fight for this but you will benefit by pushing on !! Ask everyone one you can think off for help because you worrying about not doing things will only make you feel wose believe me !! There is no shame in asking for help because I can tell you that if one of your friends or family had your illness they would let you know how ill they were !

    lastley I think your amazing to be copying with an ill child & being so ill yourself , I'm in my 14 th yr off illness & I can only cope with me , so well done you !!!!! 

    Remember you are not at fault it's your illness that stopping you ! Good luck & take care xxxxx

  • JulieBadger
    JulieBadger MSME

    Posted

    Hi FibroAng, sorry you are having a rough time.  There seems to be two main issues here?  One is how you are coping with ME/CFS and the other is that your son isn't getting out and about how SS want him to.  So lets look at your son first.  He's not interacting and he's glued himself to inside the home?  Sounds like you need advice from other parents with ADHD & ASD children.  Direct advice from his school, websites on helping ADHD & ASD children / young adults is my best advice.  SS aren't critising you, they are looking at him and suggesting how his life could be improved.  The problem for you is that is very emotionally and physically draining to be constantly worrying about what he needs and how to achieve it.  I get drained just chasing after my two kids and they don't have mental/emotional difficulties to also take into account.

    Looking at your needs you need some physical help because it's emotionally & physically draining you trying to cope and do jobs round the house.  Shopping - food / presents / clothing I do on-line.  Saves going round the shops/ carrying the bags and I can do it at times I am up-to-it.  House cleaning I have a cleaner.  Not an expensive company just someone earning a little bit of money.  To keep the cost down I have to accept a quick clean each week, therefore leaving areas still messy.  I'm hoping to get PIP money which will then go towards getting a better clean done once in a while.  Walking the dog - thankfully my cats don't need walking but I do have a mobility scooter which would then allow me to get out and walk a dog.  Dogs do learn to get out of the way of the wheels once they have been ridden over a few times wink. 

    As my Occupational Theropist taught me, write down your problem, think of 6 ways to fix it, take the best fix-it option and work out how that can be achieved.  Your's will be a long list as you have quite a few problems at the moment but it will make you feel like you can get some control of the issues.

    I would also consider whether you are on strong enough anti-depressants at the moment?  When the level of your tablets is right you will feel calmer to work out how to deal with each of your problems. Good Luck x

  • Marchel32
    Marchel32 MSME

    Posted

    Hi there, I think you live in the UK. Surely there must be services for people who are too sick to work. I agree with Dawn97. Go to you doc and get a legal document saying you are hadicapped (or whatever it is called there) and get Social Services to make a plan for YOU. Also, once you have the statment from the doc, social services for your child won't be legally able to place so many demands on you and then, my guess is in fact, they will have to help you with your child. These kinds of social services are in place to help people in need. You have been paying taxes for years to support these kind of social services. You are in need. Now it's your turn. Get what is yours. I wish you the best.
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