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For the past 2 weeks I’ve been experiencing pain during bowel movements which has seemed to just stay without easing off and has meant I can’t sit down properly because it hurts too much. However, over the past couple of days the pain has been become a lot worse every time I pass a BM, again the pain eases slightly after around an hour but never fully goes away. I also have been having rectal bleeding both upon wiping (with moistened flushable wet wipes) and present in my underwear.
Managed to get an emergency appointment at my GP surgery early morning yesterday, but he didn’t seem too concerned at all and don’t want to examine me and was just told to get some over the counter pile cream to soothe (I must say he was also 45 minutes late for my appointment despite not having seen any other patients before me). Cue me popping to the pharamacy to get some cream and going home. It gets to around 5pm, I get the urge to go (I have IBS so I do have frequent BMs) and I have honestly never felt anything like it in my entire life, to the point where I was actually screaming and bawling. My mum phones the GP back up and the receptionist tells her to bring me in straight away. This time I see a different Dr and she asks to examine me and I can barely get onto the bench because of the pain, she literally parted my buttocks and that’s as far as she got because I was in absolute agony. She told me she’s almost 99.9% certain I have an anal fissure and has prescribed me an antiseptic cream to try and ease some of the pain and I’m obviously aware it’s not going to work straight away but I’m still willing it to magically take effect and take all my pain away.
I have a very active job as I actually work as a HCA on a colorectal surgery ward at my local hospital so I’m constantly on my feet for the majority of my 12 hour shifts. I’m at the stage at the moment where I can’t even walk properly because the pain is just unbearable and I’m so worried about going to work and needing the toilet because I’m finding that even just going to pass water is horrifically painful because it seems even just sitting on the toilet is setting off something.
I just don’t know what to do with myself, I’ve been taking regular painkillers, trying to keep myself hydrated, I’ve been informed I should eat more fibre even though this is something I’m pretty good at usually anyway with being über paranoid about anything bowel related because of work.
Another thing that’s really getting to me is that despite the hysterical crying (I’m not at all a crier usually) my family have been telling me to stop being so stupid and to grow up because other people go to work and just get on with it when in pain. Is it just me being dramatic about the pain? Or is it truly as horrendous as I think it is?
I’m writing this at 3:30 in the morning after just going to the toilet again and having a meltdown because of the pain. I just don’t know what to do.
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