Can we ever truly recover from Depression

Posted , 7 users are following.

I have had what I know recognise to be depression and social anxiety for nearly 10 years and now it just feels like the norm for me. 

I have always felt a little different and afraid of meeting new people which may be down to moving around so much as a kid but it wasnt until moved to a new secondary school when I was 13 that a really noticed my first symptoms. I had no friends and was picked on and then eventually I got into a fight with a bully which eventually made me too scared to return to school. Around this same time my mum became addicted to heroin. I was all alone in a new city with no friends, no education and my home life had fallen apart, I had stopped attending school altogether and I was afriad of leaving the house. This continued for about a year until I eventually took a small overdose of paracetomal as a cry for help.

Depression continued for most of my teenage life, there were times I picked myself up and times I fell back down again, I tried all sorts of different things without ever actually receiving any profressional help - mainly because I was too stubborn.

About 4 years ago I made a turing point and moved to a new city, I managed to get myself a reasonable job to earn myself enough money for a nice flat. Ive even got myself some good friends, a boyfriend and a good family network. My mum has beat her addiction and now studying a PHD. 

Despite having worked so hard to leave my depression behind me and build myself a new life I contiue to have bouts of feeling desperately low, I feel tired, unable to concentrate and afriad to socialise but most all I cannot stand myself, I hate myself so much that I wish I didnt have to be in my own brain, I feel worthless and no one will like me.

Over the past few months I have decided that this cannot continue and I will do anything to get help and try to heal myelf. I have spoken to my doctor and I have arange some talk therapy at the end of the month. I have tried to fix my diet and exercise more - I havent been doing too well with that. I have also started a journal and started taking St John's Wart as a natural AD.

I am really trying although I am failing in some areas, I am trying to think more positively although finding it hard. I can't help but think that it doesn't matter how hard I work at it that im never going to feel better. never going to feel happy for substantial amount of time. I feel like I should be thinking about suicide more seriously and looking for a way out of this.

Has anyone out there ever actually recovered from depression? What else can be done to ease it? Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Im so desperately trying to beat this thing

 

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  • Posted

    It sounds as if you are doing all the right things.  You may want to talk to your doctor about your medications. Maybe change the dosage or change the meds altogether.  Try to get some more sunlight. I know this sounds weird, but sunshine does affect your mood.  Even a light box that is at least 10,000 Lux will also help in addition to the meds you are taking.  As for exercise; find something you enjoyo doing. This will help you to stay the course in regards to exercise.  Hope this helps.
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    • Posted

      Hi Lawren,

      Thank you for your response and advice, although I have felt like this for a really long time I am only just getting to grips with it and understanding it for what it is so I havent been on meds before, I think they can be helpful for some but I want to try and target it naturally for fear of becoming dependant on medication.

      I really agree with you on the sunlight, i find it can be so helpful (when we get some) 

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  • Posted

    Hi Faye

    It does go away for some people and not for others. I have had it since I was 17 and I'm now 51, now and again it does go for a while but then it just comes back worse than ever. I have tryed everything over the years but nothing seems to help so I have just had to except that its just the way I am and maybe always will feel like this. Hopefully you are one of the lucky ones and it may pass soon

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    • Posted

      I find just talking on this forum helps because it makes me realise I'm not alone with this cruel condition. I also look on the net for advice and tips to help me deal with it. Also I try to get out the house every day as just a change of scenery seems to lift my mood and I pray a lot but I know that's not for everyone but it does help me. Sorry if they are not the answers your hoping for but it's the best I can do at the moment
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  • Posted

    Hi faye for a lot of us depression can be a life long thing which comes then goes again.   Others experience it just the once and never again.  We are all different.

    Well done for tackling it that is very strong and positive.  I am not sure St. John's Wort can help much - oh it might for mild even moderate depression but yours does sound a bit worse than that.   I am not avocating you using andi-depressants from the doctor but they would probably work better.   They can be used on a short term basis but the point is they can get you to a point where you feel better and you can then start to change what you don't like in your life.  That along with seeing a counsellor is a two pronged attack which I think could be more effective for you.

    And what do you mean no one likes you?  Dinna be daft woman you say you have good friends,  a bf and family relations!  How can no one not like you?   lol

    Let us know how you get on please.  xx

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    • Posted

      Hi,

      Thank you for your advice, although I am not ruling out anti-depressents I am slightly worried about some of the side effects and have been trying to increase serotonin levels naturally before rsorting to them.

      I know its silly but I often find myself worrying about what people think of me and I feel like my moods have a negative effect on my relationships with others. Its something that I hope to change 

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    • Posted

      Your going the right way about it and doing the right things. Also it doesn't sound silly that you worry about what others think of you and that your moods have a negative affect on your relationships because I'm exactly the same and I bet you that 90% of people on this forum feel like that too
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  • Posted

    The journal and the changes are making are positive changes. You are I am afraid going to need to give it time too. Even I can admit at time I wish I could flick a switch and see the difference in a short period but it dont work like that
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  • Posted

    It is good that you have arranged an appointment with a counsellor, CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) can help some people feel more positive about themselves and help to cope better with difficulties.

    Unfortunately depression can come and go, and can often return due to bad life events. As you get older you find more ways of dealing with things and although depression doesn't get easier you know it will fade over time and you can feel better again.

    It sounds like you have had a difficult time and it is hard not to be affected by things that happen. Depression can run in families.

    Day to day life can be boring and tedious. Are you happy in your job or is it just for the money? Most people are unhappy with their jobs and it doesn't help.

    I feel if I was doing something I truely enjoyed and thought was worthwhile it would make a big difference.

    It is good to have something to look forward to, like a holiday. It is difficult to save up sometimes and feels like a lot of money, but it is worth it for the experience and break.

    The way out is what you are doing now, getting help will make you feel better.

    Suicide will rob you of all the happy times in your future. If you feel that low please speak to the doctor again and consider antidepressants.

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    • Posted

      Hi Capodingos,

      I have always been afraid to admit depression or that I have a problem because I felt it would make me seem weak or that I will never be able to accomplish certain things. Although I feel like recognising the problem could be the first step towards recovery it also scares the hell out of me and the thought of feeling like this for the rest of my life is daunting. I have always thought that moving or getting a new job or changing my hair will make me feel differently and now I realise that problem is within me my goals dont seem as appealing anymore. I hope its just a phase

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    • Posted

      Do you think it is a weakness in you then that causes your depression?  That your mind isn't strong enough?   That is absolute rubbish and isn't your fault you have it.  Around 1 in 5 people suffer depression at least one in their lives and it is increasing.   You are right though that recognising you have a problem is the first step to solving it.

      Don't feel embarrased by seeking treatment after all if you broke your leg you would go to a doctor without a qualm wouldn't you?   Doctors see depressed people every day of the week and there is help out there for you.  x

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  • Posted

    It goes away for some people, but for people like me,no.  I have had depression for a very long time.  It varies in intensity.  I am better now than I have been for a while.  I stopped anti depressants after 20 years 16 months ago, and am coping without medication.

    Hopefully you will feel less depressed as the years go on.  We continue to battle on don't we?  I find it is ups and downs.  There are periods when I feel reasonably OK and then I go down again.  Probably that is the pattern of long term depression.  Some people have one bout and never feel depressed again. 

    I hope the talk therapy works for you.  I take a lot of supplements and try to eat healthily.  Anything to help myself, like you. 

    People here are very helpful, and you will get good advice.

    Take care

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