Cant stay hard when i am about to penetrate her

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hey, so i have been with my dirlfriend for almost a year now and we have been trying to have sex for a long time but we couldnt becouse of my problem. When the foreplay starts, there are no problems with anything,everything is awsome, but as soon as she stops doing me with hand or mouth and I have to put on a condom I cant penetrate her becouse i am not hard enough. I am sure that this is purely psychological, I talked with a doctor and everything. Recently, we have had sex for the first time and a couple of times after that but it is possible only like 1 out of 10 tries. I am sure its getting better over time, but very slowly, very very slowly. I am just asking if there is something i can do, I have read that meditation can help but i am not sure about that. Is there some other way to overcome this faster?

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Posted

    Trying changing the order of play.

    start with penetration sex

    then do the hand and mouth later.

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  • Posted

    Some questions:

    How old are you?

    Do you ever have problems masturbating?

    Is this your first girlfriend, and if not, did you have the same issue before?

    These links may help:

    https://patient.info/health/erectile-dysfunction-impotence

    https://patient.info/doctor/erectile-dysfunction  (written for doctors)

    • Posted

      I am 18, she is my first and while masturbazing there is no problem. I have regulary morning erections and the thing is that if i dont concentrate on the erection while with her everything is fine. But when I am about to penetrate her my heart rate increaseses rapidly( like seriously, my chest is literally pulsing) and my erection is down.
    • Posted

      Some things you could try:

      masturbating on your own with condoms to get used to it

      sex without vaginal penetration, with or without condoms.  It helps if there's no psychological pressure to perform, and you can both use your hands on your own bodies as well as on each other (women have different views on a man masturbating though - some find it erotic, others think it's a turnoff).

      you and your partner using different contraception if she's ok with that, eg the pill or an IUD

      You're a bit young for ED medication, but it's nice to know that it's there for the future, or as a last resort.  If you've been together for a year, it's highly likely that you'll be able to fix things between you without it though.

  • Posted

    Since you don't have a problem when she is stimulating you perhaps you just need continous stimulation to stay erect. Have you tried gripping your penis and stimulating yourself a bit as you penetrate her? Or have her put on the condom and continue to stimulate you as she guides you in. Also some angles and postitions can make penetration more difficult, so experiment a bit.

  • Posted

    Sildenafil (generic Viagra) is available on prescription. It is much cheaper than Viagra but it's tha same thing. When Tadalafil becomes generic that will be better butin the UK it;s still sold as Cialis  and is expensive. I've had both and they work wonders.

  • Posted

    As long as the tablet works, I think you'll find it gives you confidence and after a few times using it, you may well be able to do without it. Another thought - sometimes, as long as you can penetrate with a semi erection, you could find that the stimulation once inside will restore your level of hardness.

  • Posted

    Another thought - as long as you are both faithfull and free of STIs, maybe she could have a coil fitted and you could then try without the condom.

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