Catastrophic anxiety?
Posted , 7 users are following.
Anyone ever dealt with this? I have not been formally diagnosed with any anxiety disorder but I start counseling next week and I was worried it wouldn't help very much because I don't think I have GAD. Sounds silly, but the counseling I'll be getting is through my university's program and while they really do want to help, they see so many people that it's kind of a here's-what's-going-on and here's-how-to-deal-with-it situation and I was worried that I would get the same how-to-deal-with-it part as the hundreds of students they see for generalized anxiety.
I really had my doubts about generalized anxiety because while I do worry almost constantly, it's not over things like all of the work I have to do or how many people I'll end up seeing that day. I thought maybe I had health anxiety, but I have also worried incessantly about my own sudden death (I am only 20 and in near-perfect health) as well as a horrible disease or accident hurting one of my family members. Before anxiety took over my life, I also used to have panic attacks in situations where I thought gun violence could easily occur (at that time it'd been in the news frequently and I live in the US). One Saturday I was studying in the library with a few friends and in that library there is a staircase, and if you stand at the bottom of the staircase you can kind of see about the whole floor. I noticed there was a guy standing there with his hands in his pockets, headphones in, not saying anything. Just watching. I let it go for a while thinking he could've just been listening to a podcast or something. However he must have remained there for 30 minutes or so and somewhere in there, the unbelievably irrational thought that he may have been scoping out a proper time to commit and act of violence popped into my head, and then I could not get it out. I started imaging every scenario, which way I would leave, how far away I would get before I felt safe enough, etc. I actually had to get up and go for a 20 minute walk out of that room before I could come back and focus again. Later I felt really bad because I saw him working really hard on a project with other students.
That was not the only incidence of an event like that with my anxiety, and now it's only gotten worse. It surrounds mostly the idea of something awful very suddenly happening to me or one of my family members. If I have a headache, well it's probably a tumor and not a million other things. I know that's pretty common place, but I've been doing a lot of reading and a defining feature of catastrophic anxiety is that one often reacts to their thoughts like these things have actually happened to him or her, and I can say without doubt that I do that. Has anyone had experience with catostrophic anxiety? I think this is something I have experienced my entire life, but now it is catching up to me and has taken over my everyday life..
1 like, 24 replies
Brooke111 amelia43385
Posted
Hello Amelia,
You replied to one of my previous posts earlier today. After readying your post I just want to let you know that I am dealing with the EXACT same thing. Down to the irrational fear of a shooter and even worrying when my boyfriend drives a few blocks in fear he may get in an accident. Right now, my main focus and fear is my health anxiety. Even when the doctors tell me I'm fine I still feel anxious and wonder if they're right.
You aren't alone. I actually did try therapy once and I felt better after I went but I slowly stopped going. Part of my felt like it brought more anxiety because I actually had to talk and face my problems. I honestly think I should go back and stick through but who knows.
Health anxiety is really scary because anxiety/depression alone can give you REAL physical symptoms in which you think it must be something physically wrong. It drives me crazy sometimes.
You can message me anytime if you want to talk. Good luck and I hope you start feeling better.
amelia43385 Brooke111
Posted
I am so sorry you are going through this! It is just the most awful thing I have ever experienced, but its so refreshing to know that I'm not alone in this. I will definitely do that!!
john47751 amelia43385
Posted
Believe it or not, I too didn't want to take the medication route. I did everything I could to avoid it. I changed my diet, worked out almost every day, did "Mindfulness", Started drinking Camomile Tea and even started taking vitamins. After awhile things just wouldn't subside for me.
You on the other hand I honestly doubt will need meds. Its honestly tough being away from home. I can completely understand that and I fully believe that with practice and your councelor's help, you'll be able to pass anxiety easily. There will be up days and down days just keep that in mind. If you keep practicing the techniques the doctors give you and don't give up on it I think you'll be just fine.
I wish you the best of luck friend..... and even more so with College lol
amelia43385 john47751
Posted
Yeah I'm sure it is unavoidable for some, but I am very thankful that the people who need it have it, and I'm so glad it is helping you! At the end of the day we have to do what's best for us, even if it sometimes the thing we don't want to do. I have been looking into mediation and mindfulness, and hopefully that, combined with some counseling, will do the trick! Thank you for the well wishes, and I hope you continue to make progress towards recovery as well!!
Purpledobermann amelia43385
Posted
Hi Amelia43385.
If it helps any, your 'catastrophic anxiety' is picture-perfect GAD
You are likely triggered by a lot of uncertainty surrounding us today and a lot of sudden violent acts you see/hear about on the news and so on. Your catastrophizing about potential acts of terror or violence are just a symptom.
As is the following: "but I have also worried incessantly about my own sudden death (I am only 20 and in near-perfect health) as well as a horrible disease or accident hurting one of my family members".
You do have GAD. The triggers for the escalation are not that important although knowing them and reasoning through them will be part of your journey to regaining some peace within. You will, over time, realize that there are things outside of your control that you need to learn to live with. This is a process. It will take time.
But therapy will be required to explore the real cause of your anxiety and to limit your suffering and speed up the process. Something else is bugging you, may be subconscious. It will be unearthed slowly. Counselling in the meanwhile will help offer some better perspective and some coping skills.
This is surmountable and for some of us an inevitable part of maturing and readjusting.
When sympotoms crop up and intensify they do so because your mind has been battered, even subconsciously, emotions suppressed, fears unaddressed, needs unmet or certain parts of our psyche underdeveloped for various reasons.
The doctor's advice about getting sufficient sleep is very important: rest is paramount to containing and alleviating anxiety. The quality of sleep you have when anxiety is close to peak is very poor and it is difficult for your mind to truly let go. This is why you will be waking feeling worse rather than actually rested for a while. All normal. It sounds like you are followed by a good doctor. Trust, cooperate and get stubborn about helping yourself out of this. Treat yourself kindly. Limit negativity that you allow inside your head for a while (detox a little), take care of your body too. Declutter your head, your surroundings, simplify your life. Work at things that are within your sphere of influence. Slowly you will achieve balance and a healthier perspective on your wider environment and its dangers as well as on things within your life that are beyond your control. Sending much love and best wishes. x