Caught boyfriend on POF... Do I date again with HSV2
Posted , 4 users are following.
I understand this is probably the complete wrong place to post something like this but I would honestly love some of your opinions on this situation as I have no one else to ask.
So I have been with my boyfriend just over 8 months now he accepted my HSV2 and we had a great relationship. The thought of catching it from me didn't bother him in the slightest and he gave me so much confidence and happiness.
A few days ago he slipped up and I found out he was on POF ... My heart is broken I'm beside myself as my self esteem and confidence is at a new low. I feel like I am back to square one, he has apologised numerous times but the trust has been broken... When I asked if he was on POF he said no and swore on his life he wasn't until I showed him a picture he had sent me and you could see a POF notification. What would you do? He said he only got it the day before and hadn't spoken or met up with any girls but I'm heart broken. Opinions what to do please?
Do I move on and have the fear and worry of having to tell someone all over again and being rejected? Or do we try and sort things out over time ...
I need some advice and would love if anyone could help me,
Thank you! 
1 like, 9 replies
ali1995 jessb1738
Posted
Hi Jess,
Sorry if I come across a little harsh but here goes...
I know you feel like your boyfriend is amazing for accepting you with your virus (sorry don't know how to phrase it not being patronising I have it too haha). But if his on a dating website whether you have herpes or not doesn't make a difference you need to not be insecure and know your worth Hun!
Please do not waste your time and energy on this boy find someone that cares, not being horrible but he obviously doesn't care enough if he feels the need to use a dating app. He slipped up and his only sorry that you caught him, if you didn't he would of continued to be on the app.
Please promise you will think about your self worth you don't need any boy to make you happy sometimes being on your own can be the best thing for you rather than having toxic people in your life!
I hope I've helped slightly! Please reply if you have any other questions! Xx
jessb1738 ali1995
Posted
Thank you so much for your reply, I think you are completely right and I couldn't agree with you more. Just so hard after getting comfortable with someone speaking to them pretty much all day everyday, him meeting my family etc. So hard to just move forward and it's much easier to just go back where I'm comfortable - with him.
Thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it xx
Alphamale jessb1738
Posted
Even the fact that he lied means he cares.
I would have a serious talk with him if I were you and set the path forward.
Of course unless you feel that he is off-course already.
jessb1738 Alphamale
Posted
Of course it means something, but if he is looking elsewhere with perhaps the potential to cheat... I shouldn't just stay with him because he accepted the risk? I take daily meds and we use protection so I am already doing all I can to protect him, he saw past the minor skin virus but I don't think that means I should stay and be badly treated because of it?
Really awkward position to be in!
Thank you for your advice xx
Alphamale jessb1738
Posted
I missunderstood. I thought he already got herpes from you based on agreement.
I am in a similler situation. The women accepted to date me with my hsv2 without protection.
I am delaying the date because I feel guilty. She does not seem to understand what she is getting herself into.
But she insisted that she read about herpes and she talked to her doctor.
I recived advice in this form from Felis to wear the condum snd take the antivirus. I think this is what I will do .
The condum tskes half the pleasure away but I will not complain.
In your case if your partner did not contract herpes from you then I agree with you
You should start looking for some one else.
It took me forever to build the courage to confess to my date about herpes.
I thought she will never accept but she surprised me.
jessb1738 Alphamale
Posted
That's okay, why do you feel guilty? You was honest with her and she accepts it there is nothing to feel guilty about at all. She has made the choice to take the risk with you which is perfect. I really hope you over come any guilt or worry that you are feeling and I'm sure that you are well on the way to a great relationship.
After telling someone about herpes and them accepting it I believe it really does create a stronger bond and better realitionship.
I hope all goes well for you and good luck!!!!
Alphamale jessb1738
Posted
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In your case you said you have caught him neumerous times, then thats it.
If he keep trying and apologizing then you should not waste your valuable emotions.
kimberlywilliam jessb1738
Posted
Guess what! The right man for you will not only love and accept you with herpes - he will also not go on dating sites! If youre trying salvage the relationship cause you truly think he is faithful and this was a mistake hes learnt from then go for it. But leave the herpes out of it. There are many men who will look past it, and if they can you dont want em anyways!
jessb1738 kimberlywilliam
Posted
Hello!
Thank you for your reply, that's very true! He said he has made a massive mistake but similar things have happened before I have seen him looking for girls numerous times now on Instagram even tho it may sound petty I feel like because i have this i will never be good enough ... the trust has been broken and will be extremely hard to rebuild
Once again thank you xx