Celexa and Long Term side effects, Stories?

Hello everyone, my name is Gary (welcome gary, now here's your pin.) 

I was one of those kids in the late 1990s who was put on Celexa. I was 16 at the time and my parents figured it would be a good move as i was struggling emotionally and diagnosed with depression (as opposed to a 16 year old who depressed?) I later learned that the official diagnosis was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I was started on a dosage of 10mils or 20, i can't remember but gradually i was bumped up to 60mg daily after 6 years. In the beginning it helped with my feelings of depression and anxiety. I felt mania from time to time and would work on stories, various tinkering projects until 5 in the morning on some days and in the rare cases i would not even sleep for a day and a half. When the mania was not there it was a feeling of numbness (if that makes any sense) I just was not excited, happy, angry, sad, or any kind of emotion. Gradually nihilistic thoughts crept in, of suicide, a life of solitude in the forest, crap like that.

It was not until i was working overseas when i went off the meds cold turkey, due to the fact i could not obtain them in the country i was working in when i experienced the worse withdrawl symptom i ever hope to endure. I had a migraine and flu like symptoms for two weeks straight and could barely leave my flat except to get drinks and food. I always wondered what my aunts and mom were bitching about when they said they had a "Migraine" and after that experience i had a much better understanding of it. 

My mental state after the withdrawl from Celexa was akin to shaking a bottle of coke for the better half of a decade then suddenly popping the cap. I was angry, took stupid risks cut people out of my life who i always wanted to but was afraid of doing. It's as if PTSD was put on hold for that time then finally let loose. More than anything I wanted to be alone. I became very withdrawn and did not like people (even friends) touching me, It never bothered me before.

Over time i began to notice finer details, I never wrote stories anymore and when i felt like writing I could not articulate myself. I found it difficult to concentrate on reading. I was not able to multitask, everything had to be orderly and mono-tasked or i would have incredible difficulty coping with it. Before i was capable of all these things.

On the plus side i have become more pragmatic I feel more interested in practical things and i have a greater deal of confidence (I credit that to my friend who i practiced martial arts however.) My life has become a constant struggle to find order in things, if that makes any sense. I have a constant mental fog, sometimes i forget what i doing, where i am going right in the middle of a task. almost like a mild form of dementia but fortunately that is not very common.

If anyone has experienced something similar on any level i'd love to hear your story in the comments below. Celexa was used to help me cope with PTSD but all it did was suppress the healing process I feel, along with rewiring my brain in ways i am still not sure of. Not much study has been done on long term effects of SSRIs to my knowledge. the longest period i have seen is two years. 

anyway, that's it love to hear your guys' input. 

Cheers

-Gary

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