Cervical Spondylosis ruminations
Posted , 21 users are following.
Over the years, I've experienced varying confusing reactions, from friends, relatives etc. to my cs problem and I just thought I'd explore these positive / negative influences and try straighten my head out so I can have a nice Xmas!
The problem is this...I can't expect the average person to understand, or even empathise, with the confusing assortment of symptoms I try to explain to them in an effort to reach an understanding of the limitations of my interaction with them, whether that be organising a social event, or just trying to focus and engage verbally. I have developed a disgusting patronising habit of pretending I'm interested when I'm really only concerned with the ache in my neck. Obviously, with c/s, there's a time to socialise and a time not to, and due to the unpredictability of the condition, this can get confusing and even lead to uncalled for bad reactions, again leading to resentment, anger etc. Nothing wrong with resentment and anger as long as they are not the demented children of misunderstandings!
I don't know if anyone else with c/s feels like this. In this post I'm going to try and unravel the conundrum and evolve a positive attitude, as a Xmas present to myself.
Firstly, I know it's not right to dismiss other's opinions just because I'm aware they can't grasp a complex problem of understanding...that would be patronising. Also, although I am aware of my aches / pains twenty-four-seven, I can't really expect a sympathetic ear whenever I feel like whingeing ( though it would be nice!). A lack of tolerance in this department is the norm. So, what am I left with. I must make the intellectual effort to find some middle ground that works for both, but most importantly, works for me, as I am the one who must go through this process to counteract the social stigma of rationally discussing chronic
ailments.
I will return and add to this later (must go out now). would appreciate any comments... eg \"Stop while your'e ahead\".
2 likes, 261 replies
mike09523 Gerry_the_neck
Posted
Just found this post , must of missed it before Christmas.
How right you are, nothing but the actual experience of grinding c/s pain can describe the symptoms suffered. I once described it as severe toothache and earache together but that didn't seem to do it justice.
I suppose it is the 24/7 that finally gets you and it is near impossible to counter act with friends and relatives when in such pain. Socialising is a thing of the past, I had CBT for 18 sessions and that was just to try and get a hold of my mood behaviour!!! Unfortunately, it's those closest to you that has to bear the brunt, my wife deserves much, much more than a medal , bless her.
Anyway, perseverance is the only answer I have.
Best wishes
Mike
Gerry_the_neck mike09523
Posted
I did CBT (6 sessions) about 3 years ago, when I was down...and have to say it helped. The old moods can get distorted whether we like it or not....and that can mess with our usual resilience. I've readjusted my goals to accept that C/S will do its thing regardless, and the more normal my expectations within that, the less frustrations with other 'unreal' expectations that just up the pressure. How can I put it better ?.......if I let go of any expectations of a return to normal, non-C/S, existence, then the mind settles, and I find myself dealing with a much clearer picture of what lies ahead. Resignation, I suppose, and perseverence.....all in one package. Bring it on !