1. Community
  2. Brain and nerves
  3. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

CFS - new job, should I take it?

Posted , 8 users are following.

smitkit
smitkit

Hi everyone, I am 24. I have been offered an 'exciting' new job which a few months ago I would have jumped at.

However I am really unwell with CFS at the moment, experiencing old symptoms (constant tiredness) but also new ones (nausea, bad pain and cramp in my hands and arms, headaches). Some of my symptoms have improved since moving home (stomach problems, skin infections).  The new job would require me to move and all the stress associated with that. The job may be interesting and distract me from feeling so awful. Or I may not be able to cope and have to give up (again), which will be very difficult. 

I don't know what to do. 

 

0 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

Next
  • sharon777
    sharon777 smitkit

    Posted

    OMG, this is a horrible decision. I see it ask this:

    1. Take the job and hope that the "...job may be interesting and distract me from feeling so awful..."

    My thoughts: Even with (pleasant) distractions CFS still seems to make its presence known. 

    2. Decline the offer and tell them you are unwell at the moment but hope in the future when you have recovered there will be an opportunity to work for them.  

    Ok everyone, what do you think.

     

    • smitkit
      smitkit sharon777

      Posted

      Thanks sharon777 - it's such a horrible decision. It's one I don't want to regret :s

      I agree - it only distracts me for a while at a time. 

      I also already accepted as they were putting me under pressure. So I'd be withdrawing from my acceptance. Which is possibly better than taking the job and leaving after 2 weeks etc, but will still annoy them. (I realise I've handled this badly. Some days I feel better and I couldn't make a decision). 

      I've told them I'm unwell and they've been supportive. 

  • jackie00198
    jackie00198 smitkit

    Posted

    I would opt for the conservative route, to avoid possibly worsening your condition. Especially if you are currently ill. Stress is your enemy, and starting a new job can be stressful and require energy.
  • Ravenwood
    Ravenwood smitkit

    Posted

    Maybe I am being pessimistic, but I would say no.  Don't take the job.  I would think that the last thing you need is added stress and fatigue from moving and taking on new responsibilities.  However, if you think you have enough energy per day to do this without exaserbating your symptons, then maybe, go ahead.  You know your body and mind best.  You just have to remember that you health and wellbeing comes first.  All other things are second.  Whatever you decided, I hope if all works out.
  • tina58520
    tina58520 smitkit

    Posted

    Hi Smitkit,

    What a decision.  I lost my job 2014 with cfs/me. I had really bad relapse in 2013.  Since improving I have been looking at other jobs and even applied for two.  My mind was made up, now is definitely not the right time as a few days after putting in each application I was housebound with pain and mobility issues.  My thoughts how would a new employer deal with this, how could I guarantee I would be able to turn up for work?  I have now come to conclusion that I would have to be in a state of remission for sometime before even contemplating another job.  Also, remember new job, new pressure could put you in a worse place healthwise from where you are now.

    Whatever you decide I wish you all the best.

    Tx

    • smitkit
      smitkit tina58520

      Posted

      Hi Tina, thank you for your reply. I was recently working an stressful job in media set hours 9am to 7pm and I turned up every day except 3 when I had flu. But long term I had no real help from my employer (quite the opposite) and therefore couldn't keep it up for more than 3months. That's not good on anyone...I really don't want to constantly be doing that to people.

      On the other hand, the hours are much better. And I love the interaction of work. But I get tearful and things when I'm battling physical symptoms, and colleagues notice these things. I'm working on keeping calm but I 100% admit I find working on someone else's timescale very difficult. 

      The thought of giving up on the life that I want is SO hard to come to terms with. But maybe I'm just being immature. I've worked really hard at university and postgrad and I so much wanted to work. 

    • smitkit
      smitkit tina58520

      Posted

      I'm so sorry to hear that you can't work at the moment and that definitley sounds like a good decision. I hope you get better soon and thank you for your thoughts. 
  • andrew22534
    andrew22534 smitkit

    Posted

    Hi, Oddly for me i would say no... or in your case, reluctantly withdraw due to ill health, and ask for working from home oppertunities. I wouldnt try to do a move let alone a move and a new job, i would try a new job but only from home (but cant do so at the present as the heart is playing up too) explain your ME has been in remission but has made a comeback and you arent coping - to your suprise! sorry but i think it is setting up to fail...get into a better remission before trying but dont give up either!! you time will come and perhaps a better oppertunity / career
  • Tea_belly
    Tea_belly smitkit

    Posted

    Hi, I think deep down you know  that taking this job would make you worse. Unfortunately we all know cfs isn't mind over matter and although you may enjoy the job I don't believe that is enough to relieve the symptoms of cfs. As others say look after yourself and maybe even working from home with few time pressures. Hope the helps x
    • smitkit
      smitkit Tea_belly

      Posted

      Hi Tea belly, maybe, yes. However I can't distinguish between that and whether I'm just scared to lose my comfort of home and not believing in myself, which is not a good enough reason really. I think you may be spot on. So sorry to have a 'response' to everything - my mind is very 'chatty'. 
  • Tea_belly
    Tea_belly smitkit

    Posted

    It is very hard. I would like to do a short walk each day but am so bad at the minute I haven't managed it. A friend questioned the other day if was because I had just got out of the habit and couldn't be bothered! I felt dismayed and began to question myself so had more activity time and less rest the next day. Big mistake-it made me so I'll. you really do know your own body best. Did you feel relief or sadness when everyone said no? That might give you some idea of what your head is telling u. Unfortunately with cfs it doesn't matter what your heart wants to do your body will decide. Hope things go well whatever you decide xx
    • smitkit
      smitkit Tea_belly

      Posted

      I was really suprised everyone said no, as my professional mentor who knows I'm really ill (she is too with osteoarthritis) encouraged me to take it. She was impressed by the response of the company being so supportive. Most of all I felt sheer panic as to how utterly annoyed they would be if I withdraw now. But, as everyone says, the most important thing is my health. It feels really hard to compromise my life so drastically because of my health, as everyone will understand so well.
    • smitkit
      smitkit Tea_belly

      Posted

      I've also managed to achieve a first class degree and two postgrad qualifications, and be offered a PhD. All unbelievably challenging (I cried every single day at university for 4 years, i had little social life and slept every afternoon without fail) but I'm glad I did them. I walk an hour a day and was doing light yoga most days until 2 months ago. I've climbed mountains and done so many things I thought I would never achieve with this awful thing - but that was when I was able to manage the condition (I'm skipping out a LOT of awful stuff). But now I've had a super relapse and admittedly my body is not letting me do that anymore and I'm in pain a lot for absolutely no reason with horrific crippling headaches. 
  • Tea_belly
    Tea_belly smitkit

    Posted

    Hi, I think it has probably all come to a head! I went back to work at the end of April on a phased return. I felt better and began to do more on my days off as well and then hit a brick wall at end of November and have been off sick since, worse than last time. It really is all about pacing- easier said than done though. You have to remember no one understands the limits of cfs as well as a sufferer, even though other people mean well. Could you start the job on a part time basis as a compromise?
    • smitkit
      smitkit Tea_belly

      Posted

      That's very true. I don't think I can :s I guess I could ask. I've been HR's total nightmare so far as I took a few days to decide, and I asked for more money (which they conceded). I'd be the least popular new employee ever... But, hey, got to put myself first. Thanks Tea belly. I hope you are able to relax a bit on your time off and feel a little better. I think the worse thing is when I'm meant to be resting I'm worrying and thinking the whole time - never switch off. 

       

Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.