Posted , 14 users are following.
hi guys been living with this evil illness for around 8 years and more or less house bound for last 3 years now.
Im sick of arrogant people thinking I'm just lazy and some of them are family members and I'm getting no support what so ever.
Doctors are useless and just keep giving me anti ds because of the depression because I feel such a failure.
Im a single mum of 3 and had to give my nursing degree up because I was so ill.
I can't even do the simplest household tasks as washing the posts or cooking most days.
im sitting here right now looking at the dump of a house I live in because I just can't clean it and my older children of 15 an 13 do nothing for me and my sister who I may say I've done so much for in the past just sees me as lazy an doesn't even offer to come round an throw the Hoover round for me.
my birthday 2 weeks ago and I was stuck in bed for 3 days solid only getting up to use a bucket to wee in as couldn't make it down the stairs to bathroom and my sister comes into my bedroom asking why I didnt answer the phone as she had be trying to call me to see if I could look after her 4 children.
She seen me an said oh your not going to be able to have them but will you be ok on Tuesday to have them as promised.. Feel so used and useless because she can see the state I'm in,the state of my house and the fact my own children are left to their own devises but yet she doesn't offer to help because she thinks I'm lazy, it's more more or less the same thing with anybody im close to and I can't cope with any of it anymore.
Im sick and tired of trying to fight this on my own. I'm a useless mother as my children are left to their own devices and lost respect for me but you can't blame them as I've lost all respect for me also.
Ive contiplated Suicide a few times but my children are always the reason to snap out of this but now I'm not so sure they are enough because I know they deserve better than this and I deserve a better life than this but I know I will never recover from this as I'm getting worse and not better
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