Childhood anxiety

Thank you Jan for your reply. I to was very shy as a child, and I never felt comfortable around my peers. I loved my grandparents so much and always felt protected and comfortable being with them. But I do believe there is a link between childhood shyness/anxiety and adult anxiety and depression.

I'm happy for your insight and for sharing your story. My childhood seems to have been similar.

 Yes I literally thought I was the only one in the world feeling the way I did through childhood and up to now.  I think there is a link also in one reason for me is that because of my shyness and quietness growing up, I never developed a sense of who I was. My true personality never came out and I spent a lot of time just  listening to other people in observing them instead of developing my own self. That's a big regret of mine but at the time I didn't know any better. Thanks for your reply 

Me as well Jan. I was always daydreaming as a child, especially in school. It was like I created this world where no one could hurt me. I was never popular with other kids and avoided hanging out. I would observe to, never the one to stand out in a crowd. I always felt more comfortable being home, I felt safe and secure. I never went to camp or did anything after school like other kids, a true wallflower. I regret it now because like you I didn't develope a sense of who I was. I love photography, it's a real passion for observers like me lol. My anxiety and depression disappear when I'm behind a camera.

Thank you Jan. And best of luck.

Thank you Tina. I was always very shy and still am to a degree. I also have GAD and social anxiety which makes sense. Like you I never had a lot of confidence in myself. My Grandparents never pushed me to do things. If I wasn't comfortable doing something that was okay. I was also a big day dreamer in school, had a hard time paying attention to the teacher. I'm sure now I would have been diagnosed with ADD. But my adult life has been a struggle with depression brought on by my anxiety and avoiding challenging or social situations. My life just shrank in a way to a narrow comfort zone that I'm struggling with at 52.

Thank you Tina

Hi Don my husband is a great help but I also think that he as aided me to be this way always does everything for me putting in on a pedastal so high that I have fallen off it ... fetching and doing everything I need I'm now agrophobic and havent been out the house for 7 months now are u taking any medicationtina xx

Hi Don I have brought up 3 children ages 29 27 and 24 and have 3 grandchildren 2 are 7 and 1 is 8 and I feel like I am lost an have no sense of purpose I surpose u can call it empty nest sydrome and I feel like I did everthing to be a good mother that wen no longer needed realized I didn't know who I was an never built that cofidence for mysel

Tina xx

Hi Tina. You have more than me. I'm 52 and never been married or have any kids. Your lucky you have such a supportive husband and family who care. You accomplished a lot in life but you don't realize it. I completely understand that you feel like you never developed a true sense of yourself and you feel isolated even though you have a family. It's such a difficult illness, most don't understand. I wish I wasn't alone, and I have many regrets. I isolated myself from those who care. Not a day goes by when I don't wish I had a wife and children. I missed out and now I'm alone.

Take care of yourself Tina.

Don.

Don u should never have any regrets in life our lives take us down a path that makes us who we are today although we are unsettled in our lives this will get better I am lucky yes I am but trust me Don I am but I have never ever let so alone as I have with this anxiey the lonelyness is the worst part no one to talk to I try to hide how I feel but it's there everyday xxxtina

Thank you. My grandparents were very good to me. I never caused them any problems besides not doing all that well in school. I never got in trouble. Your right it was like living in this protective atmosphere. I was alone most of the time because I had very few friends. Thereby is something I know will help but my insurance won't cover enough sessions. So I'm on meds. Xanax and Effexor which seem to help. But my negative thought patterns still persist.

Thank you so much for your reply. And best of luck.

Weird thing is , I was very social when I was young. Had loads of friends and stuff and then I did this whole turnaround which is weird. Therapist said it's cause I felt safe in this ''bubble'' and protection.

You shouldn't take Xanax for more than a month. It's highly addictive. 

I've been taking Xanax for over a year. My phychiatrist keeps prescribing it. It definitely helps with the anxiety. I feel more calm after taking it. Most of the meds for depression or anxiety have some pretty bad withdrawals. But I guess my phychiatrist knows what she's doing.

I don't think it's good of her prescribing Xanax over and over, it's like trying to dodge you and the real problem. Of course you're gonna feel calm but eventually you're gonna be needing more and more.

Hi Don I am on lorzapam o.5 twice a day been on it for 2 years I have had 5 different medications all to no avail realy bad side effects only lorzapam works for me but I need to up my dose but they won't let me been waiting five weeks now for new med they have just left me to suffer but I battle on everyday I have no choice just keep fighting it and take ur xanax when u need it that's what it is for and if that's what u need to do to cope then don't worry u will get threw it I have been fighting for 2 years but it won't beat me I won't my life back tina xxx

It seems that what phychiatrist do they prescribe this med or that and see what works. Over the years I've been on just about all of them, sometimes she will try a combination of meds. To tell you the truth I'm tired of relying on them. And I want to tell her that but I never do, she just writes out more prescriptions. I cut down on my Effexor myself I was on 300mg. And I cut back to 150mg. she was surprised when I told her but I just thought it was to much. I had some withdrawals but got through it and I'm comfortable at 150mg.

Sorry to go on like this but it's nice to have people who understand and offer good advice from experience.

Thanks again. Don.

I've been fighting for 15 years now. I tried so many different meds I've lost count. Phychiatrist do that, if one med doesn't work they will prescribe another. Right now Effexor 150mg. And Xanax XR along with regular Xanax works works well. But I worry when it comes time to get off them. I know from experience that the withdrawals can be terrible. Even just tapering off you feel some withdrawal.

I want to try CBT but insurance is a problem. I heard a lot of good things about therepy in dealing with anxiety.

Thank you Tina 😊🙏

Don u are tougher than u think if you cut down to that by ur self that's brill I stopped all my med myself weened my self off them they didn't like it but I'm not depressed my psychiatrist told me that it's just anxiety they just won't to try anything on you send you away and hope one works and went they don't there scratching there heads if they haven't got answers how are we supposed to haha thats why being on here you can get a lot of information it a great site and the people are so understanding and helpful tina xx

Don I am in the UK so all my medical care is free I have doctor and a physiatrist and also a cpn nurse who is trained in talking therapy and a coupleasure of other things also I have a support worker that I will be workin with in the next week or so to try exposure therapy I only pay for medications that the give out they come to my home cause I'm agrophobic don't u think Don that keep giving differnt med just mixes us all up and were back to the beginning again it's like a roller coaster ride what is effexor what does it do tina xx

Hi Tina. I live in New Jersey. Effexor works on two chemicals in the brain that effect mood. Most only work on one. It's for major depressive disorder. It seems to work better than others I've tried. But it has worse withdrawal symptoms though. 😯 insurance here in the states is horrible. I have Obamacare that Pres. Trump wants to get rid of. So I don't know what will happen next year. This gives me more anxiety, I may not be able to afford it. I hope you get help with agoraphobia that has to be awful. It seems like you have a good support network.

I'm hoping you have much better days ahead.

Your friend. Don

I worry too about being on these meds. Because what happens if I have to stop them? I get so nervous just thinking about facing the day. I wake up anxious with all these negative thoughts in my head. The Xanax definitely helps calm me. I need therapy but my insurance isn't the best. I'm so alone and I'm tired of living life this way.

Thank you

Don

Well Don what can we say about trump in england we think he is awful I feel terrible for you not knowing what will happen but just worry about each day try your best not to stress what might be.what I do don I get up make a cup of tea go back to bed then take my lorazepam then get up after about half hour then face the day ( big breathe in and out) I Potter about the house doing little jobs by mid day I feel more relaxed then all negative thoughts have gone just remember every day u get up that's another day u have beaten it keep using this site and just keep talking there's always some one to talk to here sorry Don it looks like your stuck with me for the moment haha sending u a big hug tina xxx

Trump is an embarrassment he really is and his healthcare policy will end up putting tens of millions without care. It's scary to think about, I can barely afford it now.

But your right, everyday is another day that anxiety didn't keep me in the house. I wake with such terrible anxiety everyday I just want to take a couple of Xanax and go back asleep. But I must get to work. My anxiety always peaks in the morning, I take my meds around noon otherwise they make me to tired. I don't sleep well and I'm always very tired when I wake up.

I'm happy to "talk" with you. You seem to understand how it's like to deal with this. It's a battle everyday. And I hope you get the proper help to overcome your agoraphobia. You seem to be on your way. I know you will be just fine because you have the right attitude.

Have a great day or evening over there. lol. And it is another day anxiety hasn't gotten the best of me. Take each day as it comes.

Thank you again Tina. And ((((hugs))) 😊

Hi ya Don your doing great just keep telling your self that I will get threw this and I will be better one day you will look back and think how far you have come but baby steps till that day comes I am doing baby steps and I have to say talking on here as made me feel more better in myself and i don't feel so alone I have had a better day today than I have had in a long time so thanks for letting me share with you Don ..well it's 8.15 pm here grandchildren have gone home husband in bed just me and my 2 dogs having our chill time watching supernatural an Don were going to beat this anxiety monster we will good again thanks Don (((hugs))) tina xx

Thank you Tina. I'm so happy you are having a good day. Your right, baby steps. I realized that I'm not alone in battling this illness. I used to believe that I couldn't talk about it. I still feel that way that's why I turned to this forum. It's nice to get positive support from those who are experiencing the same thing. I always felt alone, and felt I should just get over it, that others are worse off than me. I'm so overcome with worry and 'what ifs' I can't enjoy the good things around me.

Tina you have given me hope. I know I'll be on meds for awhile but if I change my negative thinking maybe I can start connecting with people and not be anxious. Will see. Thanks for helping me. Keep taking those baby steps Tina. Hopefully will have more good days than bad.

Don 🙏

Good morning Don I to turned to this forum because I had no one to talk to its made a difference to me I stared another discussion called anxiety and lonelyness a lady called Lisa commented on it and what she says is right we have to be selfish and worry about ourselves and we have let this monster in by over thinking and giving in to our emotions I can't believe how many people this as effected when u read other stories u realize ur not alone we have to learn to live in the moment and not worry about what ifs we can't change what as happened in the past but we can sure change our future even if it takes us a while medication is not a bad thing if we have headache take a pill if we have heartburn to take a pill if we have hayfever we take a pill so we have mental health issues take a pill till we get better if we need it to cope that's what we do one day we will be off all meds and fixed u will get better I am positive of that keep being strong and ur anxiety will be over come don't put to much pressure on urself join other groups on the forum every one is so positive and surpportive and gives us hope u have a good day Don and take care tina xx

I never feel very strong Tina. I awake early with terrible anxiety and just thoughts about how much I hate my life. I feel so alone at that time I almost wish I wouldn't wake up at all. I'm so alone. Because of self doubt and insecurities I have trouble meeting people. I think I'll be judged negatively or they won't like me for some reason. I also get very nervous around people so of course avoidance is a big part of my life. But all of this has lead to a very lonely empty life.

My mood tends to swing back and forth and usually later on in the day I feel better. But I know come the following morning things will be much worse.

I need some kind of therepy to teach me how to push the negative thoughts out and be more positive. If I can start my day without anxiety and bad thoughts maybe the rest of my day will be better. But I don't know how to stop my negative thinking. I lost slot of people in my life. My girlfriend of 9 years pasted away 8 years ago and I never got over it. My Dad passed 3 years ago. I miss them so much. My phychiatrist says I'm still morning their deaths. I never moved on. Especially my girlfriend when she passed I cried every night for so long. I still cry if I talk about it.

Oh well I ramble on a lot. Life goes on, we all face loss at some point. But the hurt is always there.

Thanks for reading my post Tina. Stay positive and thanks for your help. Don.

Oh don I really do feel for u and your right your anxiety is realy high in the morning and that your just getting ajusted to the day ahead but tell urself that you did it yesterday and got threw the day so you can do it today emotions have a big part in our life's and we just have to let them in so that we can grieve and not hold them in we can be strong all the time I haven't suffered the lost of a partner but I have been with my husband for 31 years and I got to say that he is here with me but I am grieving for him because we are not what we just to be and I long for him to love me and show me affection but there's nothing there from him that's why I am so lonely I think I am just in the process of knowing that this marriage is over but he's here for feeling guilty and thinks he's to blame for the way I am I can't talk to him anymore there's no communication between us I do find Don that I struggle in the mornings to till my mediction kicks in then all the bad thoughts seem to go away I was a carer for a family friend I looked after him for 18 months he was like a father figure to me I loved him so much then one morning I went to do my morning call and I found him passed away on the floor I was heartbroken that was 3 years ago an I miss him everyday the taurma of finding him really affected me his family have been so kind to me his daughter and grandaughter visit me every week I thank them for that I do find it difficult to cry cause my family don't understand I put a brave face on an dont let anyone in my emotions are shutting down and i realy need to let it all out so i can get better don I'm so sorry for your loss Don therapy seems to be the best route to go down talking does help and helps put things in to prospective mine starts again in a few weeks I am going to get it all out an hopefully I will be stronger for it always remember Don you arnt alone I'm here haha and thanks for reading mine post to I feel like I have a new friend who understands and does not judge me you stay strong now and think the morning is a blimp and it will pass tina ((((hugs))))

I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage troubles, Thirty one years is almost a lifetime together. Maybe you can go to counseling to get over these troubles, and find reason enough to stay together. My anxiety wasn't to bad this morning, its Saturday so I'm off from work and that helps. It's like a switch goes on in my head and every problem that I have becomes magnified, even if I say to my self everything will be okay that it's not that bad it doesn't help. I think it's all the missed opportunities that I regret, I really don't like my job and that's a big part of life. I tend to get stuck in this cycle of depression and anxiety and then feeling better as the day wears on.

Today I treated myself to Longwood Gardens, it's southwest of Philadelphia and it's so incredible beautiful here. I like photography so I take lots of photos it's a hobby of mine and it really relaxes me. Especially at the Gardens my anxiety disappears. If I stay home I will only take another Xanax and sleep. So I force myself to get up and head out knowing I'm going to enjoy it. It's rainy here today so there are very few people so that's good.

Keep on being positive Tina. You have been a source of wonderful support for me. Someone who understands that this is a disorder and not something we can 'Snap out of '. I hear that a lot, just snap out of it your life's not that bad. But they can't understand. Anxiety and depression is a disease like anything else. And must be treated like so.

Take care Tina. Thanks for listening I hope we keep talking.

Your friend

Don

Hi Don I'm glad to hear you were feeling better an wow what a great achievement for you to go and do that we'll done sorry I haven't wrote back I've had a touch few days well Don I think if we could snap out of it we would have by now there's nothing more than I would like to walk down the street with the wind and rain splashing against my face that will happen soon i'm sure it well keep up the good thought and be positive push them negatives away and tell urself you can do this I know your on your own and that your lonely but it's not all its cracked up to be even with a family and try an push yourself into more interaction with people even it's just in passing with your neighbours by saying good morning to them thanks tina....