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Chronic anxiety disorder/ depersonalization

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lexi16814
lexi16814

Hey everyone! My name is lexi and I am 20 years old and I’ve been battling a chronic anxiety disorder since I was 8. It’s been a roller coaster but seems that this year is the worst and hitting me the hardest. I lost my mom when I was 13, my two best friends when I was 16 and my sister when I was almost 20. Everything is hitting me this year. I go to my primary doctor and have a pscychiatrist and have been to a therapist before. My psychiatrist is an a**hole and I’m currently looking for someone else. I know what I have but they keep looking past it. I know I have depersonalization .. I feel numb, I feel like a robot that is living in a dream that will one day wake up from a coma. My thought and symptoms are very weird and extreme. I can’t even sleep at my own house anymore.. I go to my fiancé’s house because I feel more comfortable with her family there. I just don’t feel like me andnon top of that I’m always anxious. I’m taking Lamotrigine 75mg and have to wait to up my dosage to 100mg in about 5 days. I just need help because I’m starting to feel so hopeless. 

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • pamela51740
    pamela51740 lexi16814

    Posted

    You poor girl lexi, you have been through a hell of alot and I am so sorry for your losses. You have depersonalization because of all the trauma you have been through, your mind has gone on safe mode to protect you from all the anxiety and upset. You need therapy for all the trauma you have been through sweetheart. Also did anything happen around about when you were 8 for anything to cause the anxiety? I had a traumatic childhood and i have depersonalization and I am waiting for therapy. Why we're you prescribed lamitical? I think a ssri or a snri would of been best for you.

    • lexi16814
      lexi16814 pamela51740

      Posted

      I was prescribed that because my psychiatrist thinks I need a mood stabilizer to help with this. Like I said he is terrible and I will be seeing a new one in February. I have a therapist and I do EMDR but I haven’t been doing that consistently so I will take that blame. But yes when I was 8 I lost my grandpa and then my mom was diagnosed with cancer.. she only had 3 months to live and pulled 5 years out of her nasty stage 4 geloblastoma brain cancer... she was the strongest woman anyone could have ever met! But thank you for your feed back.. I appreciate hearing your side and experiences yourself! 
    • pamela51740
      pamela51740 lexi16814

      Posted

      Hi Lexi I really do hope you find the right pyschartrist, you have been through so much and you are still so young. Your mum wouldn't want you to suffer like this and I hope you find the right help. I am here to talk if you need too xx

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