Chronic Fatigue for years

Please can people give me the benefit of their experience and knowledge on my chronic fatigue? I don’t fit the ‘model’ definitions of CMS/ME, my research has been inconclusive and I now feel overwhelmed.

By nature, I like to get on and sort things out myself, but I feel like a drowning man swimming back to the beach against a fast current; no matter how much progress I think I make, I always seem further away and more tired.

Origin:

·         I’m a man in my late 50s. Although personality tests and experience show that I might be slightly unstable/neurotic, for 30 years I had 2 very successful careers in demanding jobs.

·         A few years ago I began to feel a little depressed with divorce and work pressures; anti-depressants (Prozac, Venlafaxine then Imipramine) helped for a while.  Then one day I’d had enough; the pressures of an increasingly-difficult post-divorce life and a challenging new boss combined with my feeling increasingly fatigued and disorientated led to my effectively hiding in a corner of the room both physically and mentally.  Since then I’ve struggled to recover, despite my not having many pressures (my personal life has improved, I don’t work and I don’t claim benefits as I had a big enough payout/pension to retire early).

·         I suppose I felt from an early age that I’ve needed my sleep and often took naps at lunch time, but this was absolutely nothing compared to what I have to deal with now.

Symptoms:

·         I feel permanently tired as if I have a lead cape over my body, eyes and brain.  I have to lift that lead to do anything and I quickly become frustrated and even more tired. Neither sleep, rest nor ignoring the lead makes any difference. Some days I feel completely wiped out; on other days I can exercise reasonable well, for example jogging/walking 3 miles.

·         At around the same time as my breakdown I got noticeable Tinnitus and a very slight tingling in my hands.  Shortly afterwards I had a debilitating pain from the site of nose surgery 20 years ago, a mild form of Empty Nose Syndrome.

·         Since then I have developed Restless Legs, a general uncomfortable feeling in my muscles, pain from old injuries (no significant muscle aches though), frequent calf muscle cramps, had a recurrent dry cough and, starting during a cold some 4 months ago, an intermittent feeling of suffocating that I think is allied to feeling trapped by the other symptoms.

·         I also get ‘brain fog’, for example thinking through treacle when working out why I was in Sainsbury’s and not being able to remember my mother’s name yet 5 minutes later easily doing a difficult crossword.

·         I still get depressed, but IMO that stems entirely from everything being a struggle and my feeling uncomfortable rather than any innate depression. Mainly, I’m just tired of it all to the extent that I’d be more relieved than upset if a meteorite were to fall on my head.

Treatment:

·         My GP has found nothing physically wrong with me. 

·         I accept that much of my issues might be psychosomatic, but I see nothing for me to gain from being ill and I see myself as positive, determined and pragmatic rather than dependent and idealistic.  I saw a consultant psychiatrist who said that changing drugs won’t help but psychotherapy might; I’ve not seen a psychotherapist as talking doesn’t seem to work for me and the effort of arranging something and going is just too much (that my GP says I won’t get anything on the NHS doesn’t help either).

·         Blood tests show nothing significant, just slightly low B12 levels and less-than-ideal-but-well-within-NHS-limits Thyroid levels. 

·         I tried supplementing B12 but a possible interaction with the side effects of reducing my other drugs led me to stop. I intend to try again later.

·         I started 3 weeks ago to supplement with Thyroid S. I’ve not noticed any difference, albeit I’m starting off slowly and I’ve read it can take a long time to have an effect.

·         A study showed that I had slight sleep Apnea and a CPAP machine helps.

·         I take Provigil.  This helps, improving matters from a ‘very difficult to do anything’ to a ‘difficult to do anything’.

·         After reading that fatigue was a potential side effect of my nose medication (Imipramine and Gabapentin), I reduced then stopped my doses, albeit with a few challenges over possible withdrawal symptoms. I’ve noticed no change in my fatigue.

·         Trying ‘just rest’ and ‘put it all out of your mind and throw yourself into projects’ approaches have produced no improvements, just more frustration.

·         I’ve read this self-help book and that self-help book but nothing seems to stick or work.

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