Citalopram 20mgs for 3 years and still going. am i on my own ?

Iv been suffering depression for 3 years now roughly, it all started out me just feeling down all the time, always tired, feeling alone and like i had no one to talk to or to help me. I was bullied all through school, my dad always thought i was really tough and could look after myself, he raised me to be strong and confident, he done this in his own way by putting me down alot and making me stand up to him so he thought i would be able to handle anything in the big wide world, little did he know as much as i was stading up to him i was being made to feel worthless and vile at school, my mum and dad worked really hard when i was growing up, i spent alot of time with my nan and grandad, my grandad and I were inseperable, he was like my best friend, would do anything for me and always looked after me and my nan so well, he was like my hero. when I started my career i was a carer, soon shooting up and becoming a team leader and assistant to my manager. lots of stuff all piled on me. working 15 hour shifts 7 days a week. it all got on top of me and i became very tired, didnt want to do anything but work, didnt see my friends or family, didnt even really want to leave the house. my dad died last year at 49 of cancer, my grandad died this year at 80. i wanted to come off my antidepessants but after this last year i feel even worse than when i first became depressed.

does anyone have any advise on getting out of the deep slumps and constant unhappiness? my fiancee wants to start a family but im so scared that i will end up with post natal depression i just cant face it? what can i do ?

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