Citalopram after attempted suicide and panic attacks

Forgot to mention that I have maybe about 4 or 5 panic attacks every day. I can control some, but not all. It's very debilitating having that thought, that fear in the back of my mind 24/7.

Hey Drizz,

I used to have multiple panic attacks daily and its terrifying and debilitating,  you get scared to go out in case you have a panic attack, they call the feeling of a panic attack a feeling of impending doom, and thats so right, I was first prescribed Propananol for ny panic attacks this slows down your heart rate it helped a little with me but not hugely,  I know others on this forum will be able to suggest better meds to take.

Cit has helped me a lot, I had horrible side effects the first time I took Cit but thats because I started at 20mg which was too much for me so I went down to 10mg which was so much better, I am up to 20mg now after only taking it for around two weeks now and the side effect are pretty much gone.

One thing I will warn you about in case you do experience it is Cit makes a lot of us feel detached and slightly high when u first take it well for the first week for me I felt like this, it really freaked me out as my doctor told me there are no side effect,  lol she was so wrong and as she told me this I wasn't expecting to feel what I did, so the first day I took Cit and started feeling detached and high I had a big panic attack and ended up in the emergency room as I thought I was dying lol,  but I wasnt, it was just side effects from 20mg of cit.

This drug has helped me so much, everyday isn't perfect but I've had more good days then bad, one piece of advice someone gave me on here which has helped with the side effects was "just go with it, don't fight it" which I am doing, I went with the feeling high and detached I didn't let myself freak out about those feelings, and coming on this forum will help you, once you start taking it if you do get side effects (and remember not everyone does get side effects) you'll read about ppl experiencing the same thing which will help calm your anxiety as everyone is going through the same or similar things,

Good luck, stay strong and remember things do get better and suicide is permanent and not the answer, your life is precious.  Living this part of your life will only make you stronger in the long run.

Keep us all updated 

Sarah xxx

Tell your doctor how you feel. It should be possible to take diaz for few weeks until cit kicks in. My advice would be dont take the cannabis or alcohol until you feel much better..they will only mess with your brain.....plenty of water and exercise will help you feel better. Please try. Counselling would be very good, gp referral maybe? I wish you well, be patient . You will feel better. I felt like you once, youwill enjoy life again.x

Hey Drizzle

Sorry to hear about your troubles my friend. It sucks to be an intelligent, sensitive person sometimes you know. That's the type of person that gets hit with this but you know what? One day it will be you who is helping others, you'll be needed so don't check out just yet!

I've been through all of this and much more. Here's another surprise - i'm glad I did. I love the person I am today - I welcome my little anxiety reminders too as they keep me in check - remind me to take care of my mental and physical well being.  If you can tough it out, see it as part of life's rich experience,  then one day it may make sense to you. 

Anyway, here's how I got here, please believe me: nothing you are going through is unique, stay on this site long enough and you'll notice most posts are almost identical. Okay: no drugs and that includes caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or weed. Your body is nothing if not a bunch of chemicals, don't poison the system. Eat good nutritious food and lots of water. Exercise: even if it's just a long walk, this releases the good chemicals in your body and helps you get restorative sleep. Medication: initially the Diazepam is ok for emergencies but this is a powerful, addictive drug so treat with care. For the first 6 months of my recovery I used to keep them in my wallet as a comfort blanket but didn't take them. They can produce a rebound anxiety so watch out for that.  Citalopram seems to work for a lot of people to take the edge off long term and I'm still on 10mg.  I think this is a good amount because anything more takes too much of the feelings of being alive away ( I like to experience feeling good and bad as this is what it means to be human don't forget). 

For long term improvement you must look at CBT. This is how I got on the road to recovery. Try 'fear-fighter' - it's an online firm of therapy prescribed by the NHS. I paid £90 to get it rather than go on waiting list. Just use some of that money you used to spend on weed, booze or junk 😉

IIt will show you that you are only afraid of your own fear and actually that can be understood and controlled. Your thought patterns trigger fight or flight chemicals which feel terrible when you're just sat in your room ( not escaping a wild animal as intended ). 

Deep relaxation techniques will be shown to you which help you find time to 'slow down your chattering mind' - thinking too much is one of our problems. Your brain needs some downtime. Give it a break.

Finally it's about acceptance. This is who you are and the more you run away from it the more it chases you. You will eventually turn and face the 'monster' and guess what? It stops, it says " hey, why aren't you running scared?" That's when you say " come on then, let's feel this fear and see where it goes " ....but that's when it stops visiting you cos it doesn't get fed ( this stuff survives on your fear, so when you embrace it, you starve it ). Haven't you noticed that fear has a beginning and a end? It goes, nothing lasts, even when you want it to...

Finally don't be afraid to pray. You don't need to be a bible basher or anything, just get into the habit of calling on a higher power to comfort you - after all, you're not responsible for making the sun come up or for making the tide come in or making stars explode - there is a power much greater than us and we're all part of the same universe. Let that love in and watch it do its work. 

You are aware that citalopram takes weeks to kick in.  That is good. I kept counting the days!   Now at 5 weeks I am aware it is working.  I am on 10mg but was worried that everyone else seemed to be on higher doses so thought mine wouldn't work!  I was paranoid but kept with it eith all the nausea I was getting - and still get on occasion.    However my doctor recommended taking diazepan when things got too tough.  Only 2mg and in fact only took it on a few occasions.  Knowing I had it helped me enormously.   Purely psychologica!     I have now come clean with a few close friends and their support and odd text messages and emails help enormously.  I was at first so embarrassed I told know one.  It was only when I broke down in public that I had to tell them!    Also please please keep your doctor informed how you are feeling. They see so many people like us that they can really help you through.  Started CBT this week after my doctor pushing for me yo be treated urgently and I felt so good knowing that there were do many other normal looking people feeling just like me!   Bear with it. There is an dandy to it!   

Hi, I am on Citalopram 10mg, i started with 20mg but side effects were awful. It takes about 6-8 wks to stabilise in your body. My panic attacks have gone and my anxiety is so much better. I would bear with it if you can. My GP recommended i take it in the morning as at first i was taking in the evening and couldn't sleep. Every body is different with this tablet so go by how your own body feels. Give it time. Have you thought about Counselling or talking therapies. 

Hi drizz

I'm 22 and have been suffering just like you for about 4-5 months. I had panic attacks at least 5 times a day and even rang an ambulance twice and went into hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack. I'm on 20mg of citalopram and the first couple of weeks I defiantly felt worse and thought I'd never get better! But here I am in week 6th and I'm feeling so much more like myself. Yes I do still get bad days but the longer you take citalopram the more it helps. I'm going out tonight for the first time in ages. Before like you, I wouldn't even leave the house and when I did more panic attacks would just happen. Please give it time and you will see a result. I also was given diazepam to take when feeling extremely anxious, it helped but when I ran out the doctor wouldn't give me anymore because they can be really addictive so it's best not to rely on them. I hope this helps and feel free to chat to me if you feel down or just want to ask me something. We're in the same boat =) It's helped me joining this forum also.. knowing I'm not the only one makes a big difference.

Take care x

Thank you everybody for your advice, unfortunetely I was too late in phoning the doctors today to try and grab some Diazepam as I am still very nervous about feeling more anxious while I start the course of Cit.

Reopens on Monday though so if needs be I'll phone then.

I will take my first one tonight before bed, as when I was prescribed Propanolol for tense situations I would often feel panic as soon as I swallowed the tablet.. so better for me to be in bed, alone and relaxed.

Thanks again for the replies, hope you all are well. I will keep you updated!

P.S

I have quit alcohol and cannabis completely, but smoke about 2 or 3 cigarettes while I'm relaxing at night.

(Just two weeks ago I was smoking 10 per day, ironically this panic seems to have done me a favour!)

Had my first tablet last night, feel a little odd today.. not sure if it's actually the tablet or a placebo but slightly dizzy and even further back in my own head. 

It's definetely something I can cope with and doesn't bother me a huge amount.

Hopefully like the others say, one day I will wake up feeling good for once!