Citalopram for Anxiety - New member's experience so far...

Hi everyone. I'm a 62 year old male and have never had any issues with anxiety or depression all my life. I'm successful and have a good marriage, good career that has been very rewarding and have great children, in-laws, grand children, etc. 

But, my parents' health is failing rapidly and my 80 year old mom is in the hospital now recovering from a broken hip. My 87 year old dad has had several issues the most serious was a heart attack in '96 that the drs said he would not survive the night from but miraculously did. My mom has had two strokes, a mastectomy, blood clots, and now this broken hip. On top of all that, she has also been suffering from worsening dementia and cannot recall what she ate her previous meal. 

I have always been very close with both of my parents and especially my mom. I am the oldest of 5 children and the only son. My GP thinks this stress is the driver for my anxiety. Two of my sisters are very supportive and help my parents as I do but other two do not and are a problem trying get them to help.

My anxiety symptoms are fairly classic from what I've read. I have a general feeling of dread or doom, certain that something bad is going to happen but not sure what it is. I've lost 15 lbs in the last 10 days due to no appetite and have lost interest in what used to be my favorite hobbies. I do not feel depressed or sad, just very, very anxious most of the time.

The symptoms started about 6 months ago with sleep issues. First, I would wake after a dream that had a recurring theme - I would dream I was trying to get through a tight spot or opening and would get stuck. Also, if I saw something on the TV that indicated someone getting stuck, it made me feel anxious. 

Then, the awakening in the middle of the night increased and I could not go back to sleep after the dream. I would have a rush of feeling that something bad was going to happen with the typical physical symptoms of a rapid heart beat, super-anxious, etc. That would usually take an hour or so to pass but eventually it would.

Then a month ago, I started feeling anxious during the day. Very anxious. I was taking 2 Tylenol PMs at night just to get a decent night's sleep. That seemed to work for the night problems but did not help for the daytime anxiety.

So, two weeks ago I contacted my Dr who after a lengthy visit and discussion said this was all due to my parents' worsening health and worry about them dying which I know is coming. I do not consciously feel that I worry about that - I know it is a fact of life. My birth father died suddenly in 1979 due to a heart attack and I do not recall any issues over that. But this is different.

So, my Dr prescribed 10mg/day of Citaprolam. I was very concerned about the side effects I read and from the posts I read on this and other forums so I delayed starting it untiil last Saturday. But after a particularly bad Friday and Saturday, I took the first pill that evening.

My initial experience was that I slept fairly well the first two nights. But I woke up both Monday and Tuesday nights having to go to the bathroom around 0330 and could not fall back asleep - I felt anxious immediately upon awakening.

During the day starting Monday, my anxiety has returned with a vengeance. Today however, it seems a little more subdued but I am so worried it will strike again. The fight or flight feelings are horrible.

I'm hoping I can get through these initial side effects. I want to feel like 'me' again and I know my parents are not going to live forever. And I want to be able to get through the day without feeling like bad things are about to happen.

I have another appointment with my Dr next week to follow up so hopefully the Citalopram will begin to kick in by then but I also know it may take 4-6 weeks. 

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences? Thanks to all for this forum and the encouragement it provides.

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