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When I started taking Citalopram I did alot of online reading & felt quite pessimistic given all the bad reviews.
I can actually say that after 6 months I am finally feeling more normal. Okay so I am still somewhat depressed & have depressive moments....but not to the extent of how I was before....I have long term depression but from around christmas 2009 i started gradually lapsing into a hole, which really hit me in april - may that I couldnt cope anymore and finally went to see the doctor who gave me citalopram.
Now this wasnt without side effects, my short term memory isnt what it used to be and in the first 6 weeks i had an inability to concentrate. However mostly I feel normal like Im not taking anything, provided I take them at the same time each day. There has been a little trial & testing of what time of day is best to take them as in the morning i felt drowsy and in the evening i couldnt sleep - so somewhere in between seems the best bet at the moment.
I have come out of the hole I was in....at this point I couldnt remember ever not being depressed, & was quite suicidal. But even after getting out of that, I dont feel quite as bad as my 'general state' was before. I used to break down & cry alot in private or with my boyfriend for no reason & be quite anxious. Now I only cry when it is not unusual to do so, like when my gran was poorly or when I am physically exhausted from work due to long travel etc.
I dont see myself has a 'happy bunny' who gets excited about 'stuff'. But I dont think I ever will be. I still carry my depression with me everyday - but I can now handle it alot better, and once Im up and out the house I sometimes feel not depressed at all.
When i started with Citalopram it leveled me out so I wasnt crying but wasnt laughing either, I was like a monotone. I think the benefits are so gradual that even after 6-8 weeks I was still unsure if it was working and wanted a higher dose or something that would work on not just seritonin...this might be something to experiment with in the future...but I think I can stick with what Im on for now.
I beg you all not to quit the medication before you have given it a proper chance. I know some people have said 'its like taking a bad E', but really these are just the initial side effects & do quickly pass. Its not until about 4-5 months that Im feeling progressively better. I cant say 'im totally better' afterall does anyone ever get totally cured from depression? However every few weeks I keep thinking Im better than I was afew weeks ago.....so now I can see it is a very slow and unnoticeable change.
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