Posted , 5 users are following.
Hello all,
So here it goes, I'm a young (ish) guy (just turned 30) who has only realised recently how bad anixety/ depression can be.
3 years ago I became unwell whilst over in the states working, where whilst being in a car with work colleagues I started having full body cramps. This turned my whole body rock hard and was so painful, followed by ( what I know now) was a pretty major panicking attack! I didn't know at the time that I was badly dehydrated and actually needed emergancy treatment.
Without thinking about it I came home as normal to my girlfriend and went on with life but soon found every time I got in my car on my own I became very anxious.
This went on and on for days until I got to the point where I stated having panick attacks, obviously at the time thinking I had something seriously wrong with me and I was dying of some horrible undiagnosed illness.
After becoming increasingly isolated and less able to leave the house without the terrible feeling of anxiety I went to the doctors, who, with all the criticism was aboulsuty amazing and understanding prescribed me with 20mg of citalopram and some sleeping tablets for the first few days for good measures.
Well I have to admit the first 3 days were a nightmare, no sleep, anxiety at 100% and all hope quickly fading! BUT it soon changed. Slowly life was not so hard and had meaning and I get better. I could drive after a few weeks and started working away again doing long haul flights and weekends away from support and help abroad. Even pitying people who said they were depressed and had anxiety like it had never happened to me!
Well after 2 years with no issues it all came back with a real kick. My fiancee of 5 years left me and turned out to be cheating on me for 6 months. This has destroyed me and brought back the anxiety and depression multiplied by 100. Started back on 20mg for 8 weeks with no change, so I've just got onto 40mg. Could anyone who is on 40mg tell me if it's worth it? I'm desperate for some advice and help, does this get better?
1 like, 12 replies
katecogs david63673
Posted
Sorry to hear how your anxiety has come back. I've been on Citalopram twice and had a different experience both times when starting it ... the second time it took longer.
You often have to be patient with your dose - you won't get an overnight cure and taking a larger dose doesn't mean it'll work any quicker. If the meds worked before, they'll work again. Just slow down, try and relax (anxiety loves stress), breathe and accept that you'll feel ill for a little while yet whilst your body adjusts to the meds.
Increasing your dose has probably increased side effects again - they'll wear off. Just let recovery come to you - you can't make it happen any quicker. It'll do it in its own for you.
Yes it does get better, and you will get better.
K xx
david63673 katecogs
Posted
Thank you so much for your lovely and reassuring comments. I've hoped it's just a time thing but only time will tell (ironically).
I'll keep you posted
walter_06293 katecogs
Posted
david63673 katecogs
Posted
Can I also say, you deserve a medal for taking the time out to write to a complete stranger and give them hope. You should be proud that your a lovely person and that even though you don't know me you've helped
Thank you so much x
katecogs david63673
Posted
Aww thank you guys (Walter too) ??
I'm just doing what many others do - passing on the experience and reassurance we've been through too.
I hate to see so many people struggle - the exact same path I struggled down once. It's hard to feel hope or see your way through when you're in the midst of it all, so for someone who's been in the same place as you and come out of it I can reassure you it will be ok and you'll look at it differently once you're out of it too.
As the saying goes - time really is a great healer. It'll happen for you too.
Best wishes to you both
K xx
wendy50918 david63673
Posted
I have to agree with David and Walter katecogs if it wasn't for your generosity and time I wouldn't have gotten through the last 6 weeks, of ups and downs, without the support 💕
David hang in there, I'm just coming out of a down spell, it is a bumpy ride, but you will get there, and as much as I'm going through it myself if I can help just let me know
Wendy xx
katecogs wendy50918
Posted
😋 thanks Wendy xx (blushing)
Glad to hear you're coming out of that bad spell. I still owe you an email btw ??
K x
wendy50918 katecogs
Posted
It's true 😘 Katecogs
Lol just when you have time, I know it's a busy time of the year 🎄🎅🏻But yes today I feel a lot better than yesterday so looking forward to this "up" period while it's here
Wendy xx
katecogs wendy50918
Posted
Yes have been out more than I've been in is last week 🙄
Hey so glad to hear you're on the up again! You probably over exerted yourself before, but who doesn't when you're feeling well 😄
Hope le it continues to get better, as I'm sure it will. Yes I'll start my emails today.
K x
wendy50918 katecogs
Posted
Yes I think that's exactly what I did and I'm doing it again, so trying to calm myself 😂😂 I need to find an even balance lol,
Speak soon
Wendy xx
katecogs wendy50918
Posted
Yep - you start feeling well then rush about doing things woo hoo!! - then crash because you've overdone it lol. It won't always be like that as your body gets stronger.
Its a strange illness indeed 🙄🙃
David_21660 david63673
Posted
Hi David,
It does get better, but this time when you, eventually, do don't just stop and go back to that which made you ill in the first place - being a human resource. Whether it was soley because you were dehydrated or more possibly stress which likes to hide behind many types of emotional crutches. I covered my stress with fags, beer and the odd splif until one day CRASH!, I nose dived right in my GP surgery! It was my third visit regarding work related stress and my last denial.
Re dosage it would have been better to start low and gradually work up, if you needed it, this way your GP would gauge how you are with Cita and advise accordingly. Anyway, you are on a high dose and you'll have to ride out whatever side effects come your way (they come our way even when starting low). As we are all uniquely and individually different you may not get all or the intensity of the side effects you may read others suffereing from here. However, be aware that Cita causes anxiety, or if you already have it, hightens it to be able to treat it properly, this is very common and we can all testify to that and that it is a pain.
You have been on this sticking plaster for the brain before and obviously (this is not a criticism, but an observation) you treated it as a quick fix, sorry, but Cita isn't. It is however, a very good SSRI that can repair you and make you a better person, but it takes time and that depends in part on you and the damage that's already occured.
Never pity anyone just help them if you can, if you can't, then point them in the right direction. Someone did for you to be here possibly and this, after seeing your GP, is the next step toward recovery, but as I said it depends on you. You have to let Cita do its job, in the meantime you have to let go of the rudder and go with the flow! It is one hell of a ride, scary and you may feel like total cr*p at times, but it is worth it!
Listen to the advice here from people that have been there (and back) including new forum-ers as yourself, which is also part of a good support system.
Keep posting, no matter how silly it may seem (we've all been here, remember). By all means keep reading, but also remember not everything that happens to others will apply to you so, dont worry or over think. If you find you are then post and we'll help!
After 59 Winters I have had my share of failed relationships, a marriage, a divorce and as they say sh*t happens! She was not the one otherwise Dave, she'd be by your side right now. Just remember, you are not alone!
Regards,
David
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