Citalopram Low After Feeling Great
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi there, 4 weeks ago today I was prescribed Citalopram 10mg. I went to the Drs with a stomach complaint, which was making me feel really depressed. So the Dr diagnosed it may be anxiety that was causing my upset stomachs. For 2 weeks I took 10mg, and got the usual "feel worse before you're better" symptoms. Couldn't eat much, felt sick, lost weight, couldn't get out of bed. Then my dose was increased to 20mg and I began to feel a bit better. Could eat a bit more, stomach wasn't as upset, diarrhea subsided, was still laid in bed all day but felt better. Then last week, my diarrhea vanished, was able to eat pretty much what I liked, was getting up early and staying up, going out shopping, thought I'd nailed it, big smile on my face, felt amazing. I was cured I thought. Then yesterday morning, still felt really good, took my Citalopram (on an empty stomach for the 1st time i hasten to add), and within an hour I was having an anxiety attack, felt sick, lost my appetite again, stomach in knots, diarrhea returned, stomach churning all day long, head in bits. And am still feeling the same today (although i did take my citalopram with some toast this time).
I'm not only down from feeling depressed, but also thrown on top of that, I'm absolutely gutted that I was given a taste of how life should be for a whole week, only to have it cruelly snatched away from me just as i was loving life again for no apparent reason. During the 1st few weeks it felt like i would feel like that forever, then gradually, as i started to feel better, i started believing i did have a brighter future. Now i had it, and it's gone again, i'm back to thinking i'm just gonna be miserable again forever. I know i probably won't, but that's how this makes you feel and you can't help it.
I just want to know from anyone with experience of feeling like this please, is this a natural occurence? To be finally feeling better and the tablets working, only to come crashing back to earth a week later? I've heard it takes up to 8 weeks for this stuff to really take effect, but i thought i'd cracked it after 3 weeks, and now i'm back to square one and feel really low about it.
0 likes, 48 replies
steve24310
Posted
Now that I think back to last Friday (the day my low hit me), I've been booked in for a colonoscopy for weeks, this week, and last friday, cos i thought i was "cured", i rang the hospital and cancelled it, thinking i didn't want to upset my stomach again by going through that. And i think that has caused me to become even more anxious that, what if i'd made the wrong decision, that it's set my stomach off again. I wake each morning with my stomach feeling absolutely fine, and the 1st thing i say to myself is, don't think about it, don't think about it, please don't think about it!! And lo and behold, what does my brain then do? It thinks, stomach, stomach, stomach, stomach, hahahahahaha got you. And then i feel this burning sensation in the pit of my stomach and i have to "go". It really does all add up to anxiety doesn't it, and not an actual internal problem with my stomach. I know a colonoscopy is probably pointless if it is "just" anxiety, but i think i'm best just biting the bullet and having it done to put my mind at rest.
But today was a bad and good day, yet again. Wake up with the stomach, that depresses me for an hour, and then i lie in bed and can't be bothered to move for a couple of hours, just no energy at all cos i feel so low, then in the afternoon i'll feel a bit better and gradually feel better as the day wears on. But i'm due back at work in 9 days time and that's panicking me aswell, that i'm gonna feel like i do on a morning and have to deal with working in an office full of people (all nice people but people nonetheless) so I'm worrying about everything. Hopefully the tablets will take more of an effect on me by then cos i'm dreading it at the moment.
katecogs steve24310
Posted
Sorry for the long post.
When I was ill Steve, I’d wake every morning with that dreaded anxiety in the pit of my stomach, and though it didn’t upset my tum I’d just feel dreadful, frightened and didn’t want to get up and face another miserable day full of panic. Like you though, when I was on these meds I found that however bad my morning was, it wasn’t an indication how the rest of the day would turn out. As I progressed on the meds, I started getting ‘glimpses’ of normality during the day - sometimes an hour, sometimes longer, but as the weeks went by, though each morning began bad, my day slowly began to get better by the evening.
When you’re ill, your mind goes into overdrive and you overthink things, making you panic. It does seem that you’re feeling these glimpses of normality which take you into the evening. For me, this got longer and stronger as weeks went by and even though I still had the dreaded early morning anxiety I began to know it would disappear as the day continued. It did. Eventually I began waking with no anxiety ……. I then knew I’d turned a huge corner and I continued to improve more and more. I’ve been well for 20 years now (with the odd low time).
When I was suffering with the dreaded anxiety, my thoughts were all over the place and I’d fear everything, making my anxiety worse. When the ‘fog’ lifted, I could think clearly and I didn’t fear things. I struggled going to work, and just wanted to stay home in bed. The days I went to work I found I was better for it and enjoyed the company and being busy. Anticipating ‘what if’ is worse than actually doing it. When you're ill, everything is blown way out of proportion, but when you're well it all gets put back into perspective. Really, it does xx
If you tell your brain ‘not to think of a giraffe’ for instance, you will immediately think of a giraffe. Even though its hard, try and let it all be there, accept it, its temporary ……. remind yourself that you are recovering and it will go away in time. Your mind and body are automatically reacting to stress …… its not something you can control, but it will slowly calm down with the medication.
Can you be signed off for a bit longer, or if you do do you have to go back full time? Can you not ease back into work? Try not to put a time frame on yourself to get better, as this will make you stress. However, tell yourself you WILL be better with these meds. Remember, it takes time to mend a broken leg and so it will take time to mend your stressed body.
As you get better and better, you will find you’ll be able to cope more as the anxiety dies down and I’m sure your stomach will calm down.
I do feel for you. I know exactly how you feel.
K x
steve24310 katecogs
Posted
Thanks for the long reply, I prefer it when I can read something that explains things in full. It really helps thank you. I think at present, the citalopram is hitting me quite hard this week as it gets to work. This morning I've been doing exactly as you say, panicking over the smallest little things. I've been thinking of all the little things in life that are bugging me that aren't that big a deal, and they're all adding up to 1 big thing and my mind is totally overthinking, I can't stop it. I guess that'll be the citalopram. And the worst feeling of them all is when you can't see an end to it and it feels like forever will be like this. I know it won't, but that's how it feels. I know I'm eventually gonna be ok but my brain can't quite grasp that at the moment. And all I wanna do is lie on the bed. It's hard to describe to people. If someone described it to me a few months ago I'd say they should get up and stop being so lazy. But it's not laziness, it's literally that I have no inclination to stand up, no energy, no desire to do anything but lie down.
I am signed off until next Wednesday which makes 6 and a half weeks off so far. I go to the Drs on Wednesday morning and she could easily sign me off for longer. I've just started worrying about whether work will cut my pay, which they haven't so far and they are really good, but it's the way my brains working. And I don't want to ring them to discuss it cos I don't wanna put ideas in their head. I guess I'll just have to try and play things by ear and stop trying to envisage situations that don't even exist yet. Which is obviously difficult.
I think you're right that getting back to work instead of lying around all day could possibly help, but if I had anxiety attacks like I had this morning I just think that would be horrific at work. And I can't stop them. This morning I woke up and felt great for a couple of hours, then it just hit me out of the blue and I was floored. I can't imagine that at work, it would be horrible.
I'm just hoping that this next week brings a bit more relief and the tablets work a bit better.
steve24310
Posted
I thought I'd write an update, for any one else out there who may have experienced the same as I wrote about earlier. As I come across countless forums where people write asking for help, they are given advice, then the thread ends and you never find out what happened. So I've been on the citalopram for nearly 8 weeks now, and it was around the 7 week mark that I finally feel like I levelled out and started feeling much better. I'm no longer having anxiety attacks, I'm eating much better, my mornings are no longer started with anxiety, and bad stomachs. I'm finally happy and enjoying my life again. I no longer feel nauseous all day either. So for anyone who suffers the same symptoms as above, feeling good then regressing, don't worry, you will get the good back again, you just have to battle through the down days.
katecogs steve24310
Posted
Hey Steve
That sounds brilliant!! Glad to hear you've finally got through the bad times. It feels so good to get there doesn't it
I realised I hadn't replied to your previous post - missed it somehow. Just goes to show though what a difference a week or 2 can be on these crazy meds 
These meds do work - I've always trusted in them. Its just to hard to see wood through the trees ........
Look forward to reading more of your progress. Brilliant!
K x
steve24310 katecogs
Posted
It does feel great yes. Even managed a little trip into work yesterday to see everyone and familiarise myself with the journey and the office and it was a really great afternoon, due back in full time a week on Wednesday.
i do still get anxious stomachs, mainly on a morning, but especially if I'm due to do something out of the norm, such as going into work, or maybe looking forward to a particular day. And I'm not sure I'll ever be able to get rid of that with any amount of medication, I think it's just part of who I am. But the citalopram just helps to keep the nerves and anxiety at a minimum and help you live as normal a life as possible. And I'm ok with that. I'm at peace with the fact that I'm now gonna be a completely new person who has to control this, and it's just a new way of life for me that I'm getting, and will continue to get, used to. And eventually that'll be the normal me and life will go back to normal. But I'm actually enjoying having to eat new foods, control what I eat so as not to set my stomach off, and learn how to keep myself calm and control my anxiety. It was so hard to do when I first got this, but in the end it's been a blessing in disguise, it's made me into a better person getting this anxiety, and I'll be all the better for having been through this in the end.
katecogs steve24310
Posted
Brilliant you popped into work :-) When you're back in full time next week are you able to do lighter duties? You would be able to if you were returning to work from a heart attack etc,
I had an anxiety feeling right in the pit of my stomach every morning, though it usually wore off as the day progressed. This was the last symptom to leave. It took about 6 months to be completely anxiety free, and even after that I continued to improve for another 6 months, just getting happier and happier. So you may just find that the following months will heal that anxious stomach too.
As I started recovering I also thought oooh I feel good and am happy to put up with the anxious stomach, so it was an added bonus when that disappeared eventually too!!
I've said the same too - having had anxiety and depression has certainly made me a better person, and I feel kind of grateful for having it.
Pleased you're finding a peace within yourself :-)
K xx
steve24310 katecogs
Posted
I'm gonna be able to go back on a phased return yes, just mornings for a week or 2. So that should make things easier to handle. I'm pleased you've mentioned how long it took for your anxious stomach to go away, because I still get it most mornings, especially as going back to work creeps closer. So it's good to know that's normal and hopefully will leave me eventually. I know 9 weeks is a really short time to feel better, and it could take months, even years, till I'm 100%, I'm just happy that as the weeks progress I get that little bit better, and I can see hope and light at the end, slow progress but it's worth it.
katecogs steve24310
Posted
That's good being able to ease back into work. I'm sure you'll find as time passes that everything will settle down and the anxiety will stop. Recovery crept up so slowly for me I hardly noticed it - I just realised one time that I hadn't thought of 'it' for an hour or 2 when I was out, and I'd actually enjoyed myself and was able to emerse myself in convesation. This slowly increased until I felt normal again - then one morning I woke and realised I hadn't woken with that anxiety churning stomach.
You'll find as each months passes you'll feel slightly better each time
will24219 steve24310
Posted
im at 5 weeks on this med and im experience the zombies, no emotions whatsoever. ive had glimses of my old self during the day sometimes but the depressed feeling is still in the back of my mind has improved but still there. Was sleeping okay but now not so much. Mornings are extremly rough. i want to get better but i dont want to lose my emotions and be numb to everything. any advice? will this pass?
emma31977 steve24310
Edited
i have read this post so many times and im not even sure where to start because its such an old post nobody will read it.
I started citalopram 10mg for severe anxiety 2 and a half weeks ago and i had started to feel a bit better sleep a bit better etc... last night all changed i had no sleep anxiety through the roof and sickness back. will this end i want to get better badly.
larry1985 steve24310
Posted
After reading Steve's post, I think it could be that its very up and down for a few weeks, keep taking them and report back in another few weeks and let us know =)