Close to giving up
Posted , 14 users are following.
This may be a long old post so apologies and thank you for your time.
I am 48 and diagnosed via biopsy last November '14. Saw a GP a year before this who suspected LS but did not refer me till October.
I think extreme stress has caused my LS to rear it's ugly self.
A single parent -2 years ago I lost my house,my two children moved away and I had to move back to my mums tiny house,she is 81. The contents of my 3 bed house is in storage at high monthly cost.
I managed to get a job in a busy ward at a hospital with 4 hrs commute per day via public transport. I had to have all the jabs needed although I hated doing so,interestingly my first flare started not long after the first HEP B jab (maybe for another discussion?) also I developed severe arthritis in my big toe joint at same time.
Anyway,to cut a very long story shorter - I lost my job after a year as I was very poorly with severe fatigue,dizziness and weakness. I herniated disc between C6/7 in my neck and so lost my job.
I am unempolyed and my sickness has gone from bad to worse. I suffer from chronic gastritis,neck/arm pain,weakness,chronic insomnia,irregular heartbeat (ecctopics/pvs), anxiety and depression.
The gulit of having to live with my mum and me losing everything and coping with it all is just too much. I have money debt and wonder what job I can do now.
So back to LS. This disease is horrific.
I have a beuatiful understanding young (31) boyfriend who I've been with for 2+1/2 years,he is amazing but I am scared.
Over the last 4 weeks the skin over my clitoris has grown over and fused -IN JUST A MONTH!! My sensation there has almost gone and he says he can feel the difference (ahem...sorry sinsitive ones) but he can feel it isn't there any more and does not move around. I spent last night in tears.
What can I do?
I am afraid that I will push my boyfriend away or he will find it too much to cope with this and all my other stuff. I know that this would be my last relationship with anyone as I would not want another to see my disfigured genitals. I feel ugly and somehow dirty. I have turned from a happy bouncy person who enjoyed life onto someone who is very sad and thinking ahead is too hard.
I had no idea this disease could affect the mind and body in such a ditructive way.
Thank you kindly and any ideas how to ufuse the clitorul hood would be very appreciated. I read somewhere about using a cotton bud and the steroid cream?
0 likes, 60 replies
Bridge_of_Sighs lrebecca
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The spritz bottle is really small, handbag size. I got it in the cosmetics section, where they sell travel bottles for flying. I did have to ask though. If it works for me I'll source one with a lid that I can have with me all the time.
Lack of confidence, yeah, I'm a stay at home parent and struggle with that too. Something about justifying a salary does that to you. But remember that it's only the way society has been constructed, and it would collapse without all the unmeasurable inputs of people like us who go under the radar. You are there for your mum and partner as much as they are there for you. You've brought up children who are out there doing good things and being good people - that's worth at least as much, if not more than a stockbroker making already rich people richer, or a banker sweeping up his undeserved bonus.
Just thought that stockbrokers and bankers may be on this website too! Illness is a great leveller... Don't mean to offend anyone.
suedm Bridge_of_Sighs
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I thought a privilege to be with my children and loved every minute of doing so.
Sadly material expectations have been raised that you have have what you want, when you want it and the price paid, is working mothers apart from anything else, like feeling low because you are NOT working for payment.
Certainly after a period of not being in paid employment the confidence levels can be sapped - but they will soon return once returning to work. By volunteering in some way can help boost the confidence a great deal- and one's feelings of self worth - if that is a problem too.
Being a mother is THE most important role - talking to the children being consistant and giving boundaries where necessary stretching their abilities praising then - but NOT TOO MUCH -an unrealistic belief in themselves is just as bad and they head for disappointment later in life
Not parking them in front of the TV while chatting on social media - sadly all too obvious these days.
SO you stay at homes involved mothers - Good on you!
Sadly working mothers can feel guilty and over compensate - and often envy those who do stay at home
a diffcult situation for the young these days
janet62990 lrebecca
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suedm janet62990
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Use a vibrator on the clitoris
Look at the undercarriage and note what is happening when you feel The Fizz!
Petroleum Jelly - Veseline is a good inert barrier Coconut oil is said to have antiseptic properties and be soothing as well as moisturising
Where are you in the UK? I have noted there are "LS ers" in Oxfordshire Hertfordshire near Bristol Worcestershire and Essex. you could perhaps privately message some one near you - check out the various threads
suedm janet62990
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hanny32508 janet62990
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jackie770271 janet62990
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suedm jackie770271
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then phone up the consultants secretary usually available on the day of your clinic and ask for the appointment to be brought forward, and ask to have a word with your consultant..you may need an appointment for this to happen and some don't or won't talk on the phone but no harm in asking
Keep your pecker up and think of something nice and then of something funny Good luck
lrebecca janet62990
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I have to stop myself crying every time I look as a bit more seems to have fused...and it's happening daily it seems - an alarming rate! I did not know this was possible.
I use the steroid ointment daily and organic coconut oil.I sometimes feel a fizzy sensation,almost hot stingy but not quite,hard to explain.
My next appointment is last week of Feb.
lrebecca hanny32508
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lrebecca jackie770271
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I am shocked that over a period of 4 weeks over Christmas,the skin has 'grown' over my clitoris and I've lost a fair bit of sensation...all so quickly! Even in the last week it has progressed more. I am using the ointment daily and doing all I can. Starting the sugar,gluten,dairy and alkaline elimination diet in a week to try and help this thing stop advancing!
Guppy007 lrebecca
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hanny32508 lrebecca
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Next - start looking into an alkaline diet: no gluten, no dairy, no sugar, no caffeine. It seems to make a difference with me.
hanny32508 lrebecca
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lrebecca Guppy007
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I had thought about usining the cream twice a day,morning and before bed. I have always wondered...do I put the cream just where I think it should be or all over the area?
lrebecca hanny32508
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I had my first bath with it today,I did notice it made the skin on the rest of my body feel irritated,but I guess I can avoid that by just sitting and not wetting upper body when using the bicarb.
I am already caffeine and dairy free....for years. So have to address sugar and gluten and go alkaline too.
hanny32508 lrebecca
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Guppy007 lrebecca
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Then I noticed I had a small amount of fusion, on the outside of my vagina, the top right hand side of my labia minora had fused a little bit into my labia majora, there was no white areas, nothing to indicate anything was wrong!! it had simply decided to fuse, and so from then on I decided that I would have to watch this area carefully as this was clearly the area were serious fusing would occur, and I now apply cream twice a week between my LM and my LM, I make sure its well rubbed in and leave it a while before applying any lubrication. When I look in the mirror what I see is that my Labia minora doesn't look the same from both sides, the right hand side is about half an inch shorter than the left hand side.
My clitoris has been giving me some trouble lately, and that's an area I am unsure of, I have felt a slight soreness, pain in that area, and so I now know I need to keep an eye on that and I do put cream on, but I use half a pea size this time, and I gently rub it in and try to get under the hood if I can....after about an hour I then apply coconut oil, or lube, whatever is handy. All of the above will work better if you can at least sit in a bath with bic soda for a while, it softens everything and I believe this helps the cream to be absorbed better.
I have been very explicit here as I have a feeling that some woman probably aren't applying the cream in the right area.
I think you should have a word with your specialist and get them to show you exactly were you need to apply it, because if you are not applying it in the correct areas fusion can occur.
I think any areas that appear "wrong" need to be treated with Clob, but I think where the confusion and problems arise is that sometimes nothing appears "wrong" and fusion occurs, but I think I am right in saying that this fusion that occurs is nearly ALWAYS in the area that I have described above, I think I am right in that....and so I think that is one area that you need to always put your clob.
If I am wrong about the main area that is vunlerable to fusion, I am sure someone will say.
janet62990 Guppy007
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Guppy007 janet62990
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hanny32508 janet62990
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lrebecca Guppy007
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Thank you so much for your application advice,it really helps.
I am noticing that every time I apply the Clob my vagina starts to produce a discharge...almost instantly and so much that I need to wear a cotton panty liner which seems to make it produce more! Arghhh! What is all that about?! It makes me feel like I have thrush when I know it isn't.
Guppy007 lrebecca
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