Coming off sertraline after severe post natal depression/ocd

Hi all. im looking for some support/shared experiences of weaning of sertraline after taking them postnatally.

I Will try and keep this short. I started taking sertraline for a panic disorder after suffering from regular panic attacks and it becoming so debilitating that I couldn’t leave the house for a few months.

It really helped me to get my life back in order. A year and a half later I found out I was expecting. With the advice of my doctor I stayed on sertraline throughout most of my pregnancy.

Around 6 months I made the decision, with my doctor, to start weaning off them. I wanted to breastfeed and even though I know this is considered safe, it still worried me. That paired with the fact that although the sertraline helped me to function again and months had passed without a panic attack, I couldn’t help but feel like I was numb. I wasn’t experiencing feelings, both happy or sad, in the way that I wanted to. When my baby arrived, I really wanted to experience motherhood in full colour. The good and the bad.

I gradually weaned off them, for the most part, successfully.

Around the time we were due to move house (2 weeks before the birth of my little girl!) & with a lot of work still needing to be done, I started to feel anxious again. Racing thoughts, panicky, night time jitters. I had a panic attack the day we were due to pick up our keys.

2 weeks later my beautiful baby girl arrived. It was a long, traumatic birth resulting in an emergency section. I was in a complelty new house, in a new area, unable to really move or leave the house and I became very unwell. Lots of intrusive thoughts, some suicidal, really scary time. I was beside myself, I couldn’t believe what was happening to me.

around 10 weeks after having my little girl I started beck on sertraline and slowly started to get better. I mean, I don’t think I could possibly have got any lower and still been here to tell this story.

Those first few weeks I felt numb, sad I wasn’t on cloud 9, worried I didn’t love my little girl enough, it almost drove me to insanity. I couldn’t bare the guilt. I am now 9 months post partum and feeling so much better. I am enjoying the days with my little girl but I still can’t shake that feeling that I’m not experiencing things in full colour. I feel well, I am coping, but for me, sertraline almost wraps you up in cotton wool which means everything you experience is kind of clouded. I want to be fully here and well for my little girl.

Is it too soon to start tapering off? I don’t want to go back to how I was before but I also don’t want to feel as though I’m floating few these first few special moments in my daughters life.

Any advice, or support would be hugely appreciated. & Thank you for reading this far..

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