Coming off Venlafaxine

i came off ven some months ago! The side effects are horrific and concentration is at it's worst, it took me at least a month to feel some normality and then I was glad I gave them up! however, what I decided to do was like you said distract myself with anything that worked - firstly I started with meditation and positive thinking apps on my ipad! these things I found I didn't need to concentrate on at all! just relax and let them do their job. A couple of years ago I watched a movie called 'the secret' by Rhonda Byrne and I liked the concept but found I had trouble with sticking to it as it wasn't really 'spelled out' to you step by step, and I'm fairly well educated so find it easy to read between the lines  but this full life change was just missing something. Then I found by the same creator/author a book called the 'magic' there it all is in black and white! I cannot tell you if this book will make you a millionaire or change your life in any way - but my life has done a complete turn around, it has made me the happiest person that ever lived and that has to be worth it's weight in gold. To me it is the way I want to spend the rest of my life, so I will keep following the magic....the best money I have ever spend! Good luck with everything for your future and I wish you all the best xxx

I know exactly what you mean by 'being left devoid of feelings' - it struck a chord with me, as I had exactly the same experience with venlafaxine, and only really appreciated that emptiness when I stopped taking it.  I had been taking 150 mg slow release for many years.

At the time, because I could 'feel' again, I thought it was the best thing that I had ever done.

 Having read some of the recent posts about this, I also now realise that I was very fortunate in that I didn't have a problem stopping it.  I had a broken pelvis, and was taking oromorph, which probably obtunded any physical withdrawal symptoms.  However - I had real trouble stopping Seroxat some years before - especially brain zaps and shaking. 

It seems from what you have said that the NHS has let you down badly.  I think only you can decide whether or not to return to the meds, but if you don't there are other things that may help.  For me, it is walking, ideally in the countryside - it increases endorphin release, and is distracting.  It somehow puts things into perspective.  The fresh air, wild birds, trees and so on, that you can now appreciate in your Venlafaxine-free state, are a joy. 

I think it might help to make a plan for the next few weeks.

Perhaps make a list of things that you enjoy, such as swimming, going to the cinema, or whatever, and actually do them.  This takes some strength, but worked for me. If you can afford it, perhaps have your hair done, or have a manicure, or whatever might improve your self esteem.  It might help to take a close friend with you. 

Good food, plenty of water, and rest (if you can) are important. 

It sounds as if you should get yourself signed off work, if at all possible, until you are back on an even keel, and can concentrate again.  I don't know what you do, but it seems to me that it is less damaging to your career to take sick leave, than to make mistakes, or to fall apart emotionally in front of a client, or even your colleagues.  People forget about sick leave ...

I was fine for a couple of years (I have had depression intermitently for at least 36 years, first treated when I was 17), but crashed at New Year, and I am very much better on Sertraline, which I shall continue to take for the foreseeable future. 

I think it is difficult to tell whether the psychological symptoms of withdrawal are just that, or actually due to the recurrence of the disease.  Some of us just don't make or release enough serotonin to stay well - and need an SSRI.  Just as someone with diabetes needs to take insulin. In my case, recently, it was a question of acceptance.  I am OK with the idea now.

You clearly have good reason to mistrust the medical profession in this respect, but perhaps keep an open mind to the idea of starting a different antidepressant if the symptoms of depression and anxiety continue for much longer.  It can be difficult to recognise how ill one is, with depression, and you may be relapsing.

My GP of twenty years retired recently.  We were good friends, but I always had the impression that he thought my depressive episodes were somewhat amusing, having never suffered from it himself. He was of the 'pull yourself together' school of thought, and as you and I both know, you just can't do that, however much you might want to.

When he retired, I changed practice, and my new GP openly told me that he had also suffered from severe clinical depression.  As a result he is hugely empathetic, and I feel very safe under his care. 

At a time when you are in need of a great deal of support, such as now, you need a doctor whom you can trust not to be judgmental, and to care, and to take an interest. What you don't need is a GP or psychiatrist who takes the 'I know best', 'I told you so' attitude.  I don't beleive that you should have to embark on stopping Venlafaxine without some decent medical care - it is your choice, and having made that choice, you need comfort, reassurance and support.

I would seriously consider changing your GP. 

You may know, but Winston Churchill, the inventor of the 'Black Dog' expression, once said 'when the going gets tough, keep going'.  I often think of that during the dark times.

I hope this has helped a little, and that you are feeling heaps better soon - good luck. xx