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Social Phobia

Posted , 7 users are following.

phyllis4
phyllis4

I have Social Phobia re: asking people into my home, this includes extended family and friends.  I have managed to avoid home situations and my family and friends kindly make allowances and work around meeting me rather than visiting me.

I have had CBH but was unable to get to the point of inviting people to my home, I guess you would say this was unsuccessful.

I am celebrating 50 years of wedded bliss next March and would love to celebrate with my nearest and dearest but already I am having sleeplesnights at the very though?  Can anybody help?

1 like, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • julie1111
    julie1111 phyllis4

    Posted

    hi have a look on youtube to find mediation,mindfullness ,affermation and breathing excises, also a soak in the evenings with lavender oil to aid relaxation, happy anversary remember they understand and when u need time out go into a room and breath. hope thats of some help 

    julie

    • phyllis4
      phyllis4 julie1111

      Posted

      Hi Julie, thank you for your lovely supportive suggestions and helpful methods of controlling this irrational  phobia.   Phyl
  • lor793
    lor793 phyllis4

    Posted

    Hi smile is there a particular event that triggered this? And do you go out at all? Xx
    • phyllis4
      phyllis4 lor793

      Posted

      Hi Lor793, thank you for your response to my post.  I do have a normal life and do mix but the only 'trigger' example I can give would be for example, Christmas.  I love the Christmas period but the thought of people visiting me will give me sleepless nights and palpitations.  Once the Christmas period is over and I am in my comfort zone again 'hey presto' back to normality.  Taking grandchildren to school, going out with my family and friends to the theatre, out for meals etc, etc.  The reason I am seeking help is that I would love a wonderful party for my 50th wedding anniversary but it isn't until next March and the dreaded sleeplessness and worry is already beginning.  How sad is all of this and so irrational but it has blighted my life since a teenager and I am now 71, you would think I would grow up, and get a life!!!  Phyl
    • lor793
      lor793 phyllis4

      Posted

      Hi phyllis it's not a case of growing up please don't be hard on yourself everyone has something that affects them most and this is your thing. Christmas is a stressful time and I worry all the time especially about Christmas with depression. Will I be emotional? How do I put on a brave face? What if I feel in a panic and people can tell? It is not silly it is a daily fight and part of us all. Coping techniques are always helping but the best thing I find is talking. About anything and everything . Do your family know about this? Therapy is a good option but does not work for everyone. Sending love xx
    • phyllis4
      phyllis4 lor793

      Posted

      Sadly it is comforting to know that I am not alone.  Thank you for your kind words of wisdom.    Phyl
  • denise35212
    denise35212 phyllis4

    Posted

    Hi Phyllis,

    I've had panic attacks/anxiety for 4 years now.  I avoided work meetings, everything that involved social gatherings, I even avoided my daughters school plays etc.,.

    What helps me is this, daft I know.  Sit on your own, close your eyes, relax, imagine a busy social gathering, see how you feel.  I felt sweats, shaking, felt sick, I said to myself "bring it on", nothing serious happened.  When you go out with your nearest and dearest, keep busy, think busy, laugh, joke, talk, this takes your mind off social phobia.

  • phyllis4
    phyllis4

    Posted

    Thank you for your support Denise, I agree with what you said about distraction methods and, when I am in my comfort zone I can sit and rationalise that nothing serious will happen, but cometh the hour I can only fly from the situation not stay and fight.  Hope this make sense, it really is a deep seated problem.  Phyl
  • denise35212
    denise35212 phyllis4

    Posted

    Hi Phyllis,

    Hope all the comments to you have helped!!.  I'm so glad i'm not the only one who suffers like this.  I was at an appointment today, the lady asked if I still have anxiety/panic attacks (with the patronising look and voice), she then asked if I carry a brown paper bag in case I hyperventilate!!! - how very ignorant.

  • phyllis4
    phyllis4

    Posted

    Hi Denise, the comments do help.  It is strange how problem-sharing can be so helpful, I guess it is good to know that I am not on my own and that I am not attention seeking.  Thank you once again for your very valuable support.  Phyl.
    • victoria55453
      victoria55453 phyllis4

      Posted

      Hi Phyllis,

      Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. 

      I suffer with GAD and social situations are one of my triggers too. I do sympathise with you. I had a panic attack recently in a car park just before a social event and unfortunately, I couldn't go in on that occasion. I also suffer with sleepless nights every night. sad they're a bit naff, aren't they?! 

      Anyway, I've been thinking about your post. Your party is in March, you say. Well, is it possible you might be able to do baby steps, working up to walking and then the run in March? By that, I mean, perhaps have 1 person over for a cup of tea for half hour and then 2 people over for lunch and then a group of 4 over for dinner.... For example? Do you think that would be less intimidating that jumping in at the deep end with a big party and no practice? What do you think?

  • phyllis4
    phyllis4

    Posted

    Hi Victoria, thank you for taking the time to respond to my post.  I agree with you about the baby steps but my phobia is home based and when ever I know somebody is visiting it sends me into a tail spin.  I can feel really uncomfortabe for hours afterwards and worry about what I said and didn't say, it leaves me exhausted.

    I know it's down to me to try and conquer this problem but when the anxiety kicks in I am powerless.

    I have just proof read this post and I sound really disabled by my phobia when really, I have a fabulous life with my friends and adorable family. 

    It is just this one high jump That I cannot seem to get over and consequently make me feel sad that I am such a wuss.

    Once again thank you for your valuable support and your congratulations. I must be doing something right to be happily married for 50 years.

    Also good luck with your anxiety as you say it is really naff!   Phyl

    • victoria55453
      victoria55453 phyllis4

      Posted

      Hi Phyl,

      Try not to give yourself such a hard time about it. we all have our things which make us apprehensive. It's very common and perhaps trying to accept that it makes you feel uncomfortable rather than telling yourself you're not conquering it immediately would be the first step. If your husband confided in you that having people over made him anxious, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't tell him to just fix it immediately and give him a hard time if he didn't, would you? What would you say to him if the roles were reversed?

  • christine60192
    christine60192 phyllis4

    Posted

    I don't think I'm really in the position to give advise on this post but i wanted to just say good luck and i hope you can take them baby steps and be able to celebrate your anniversary in the way that you hope 

    Christine xx

    • phyllis4
      phyllis4 christine60192

      Posted

      Christine, thank you for your lovely sentiments.  Fingers crossed re: 50th wedding anniversary party.
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