I bought an apartment. I'm blinded by the flaw in it. I'm depressed.
Posted , 5 users are following.
I have a history of anxiety/depression since I was 17. I'm now 42. I have a decent career. I'm single with no children.
I bought an apartment. It took me a while to buy. By the time I did, I paid more than i would have earlier but prices are still rising and it's currently worth more than I paid and I would expect prices to keep going up for a good while.
I thought buying the apartment would make me happy but quite soon after moving in I was not happy with the orientation. It is North West facing living area so you only get the sun in the last quarter of the day (the flaw). It has loads of other things going for it; space, location, condition, well proportioned, but I can only see the flaw. I could have bought an identical one facing South for €10K more at the time and I regret I didn't.
I see a counselor. I see a psychiatrist. I take meds. I feel there is a depression there that will not go away with external acquisitions such as acquiring an apartment. I also feel I have obsessed about the flaw as if it was the cause of all my unhappiness, when in fact I felt like this before I moved and for most of last 2 years - I think I am projecting my unhappiness onto one thing, the flaw. I have tricked myself into thinking if the apartment was bathed in light all day long I would be truly happy. It is really hard to step back and say, this isn't just about the apartment, this is about me.
I have worked with my counselor to try not to obsess about the flaw, to try and starve it of attention, to try and focus my energies on something new, positive.
I do a lot to alleviate the depression. I go to a psychotherapist, I take medication (we have tried various different meds and combinations over last 1.5 years), I do exercise. I fear that unless a new medication prescribed works better I might stay the same.
Can people help? Can they identify with this? Would love to hear similar stories you might have.
2 likes, 9 replies
sam18386 manindublin
Posted
Hi maindublin, I think part of you is lucky to have a flat in Dublin, I am jealous! You need to readjust to your new space I think and make it your own. Location you can't do anything about, you're in one of the world's most vibrant cities, one of the most lively and indeed I think one of the best! Enjoy it where you are and if it's yours and it's permitted and your allowed get a dog, great things for depression or cats, they are proven to help mental health and bring out the endorphins that make us feel good. Enjoy your life paint the flat in bright colours and put some nice things in it you'll enjoy. And you don't like Dublin? I can't think why!!
manindublin sam18386
Posted
Thanks Sam. Must think about the dog thing more, I love dogs. No I have no issue with the location of the apartment and I have no issue with Dublin. The thing about the apartment I am unhappy with is it's orientation/aspect being North West. It is not bathed in sunshine when the sun is shining, To others it sounds like a small thing but my mind has made it into a very big thing.
sam18386 manindublin
Posted
gisela99920 manindublin
Posted
I'm sorry you are not feeling well. I think what's got hold on you is the other apartment perhaps you are visualising too much of you being inside of the other property. Have you actually been inside the south facing property? If you haven't even though the other property is south facing it might not be as good as the property you have for example it could be smaller, less space, not good proportion if you think of it this way it may make you feel better with the home you you've got your apartment sounds great.
perhaps you can make your apartment brighter by having more lights around to brighten the place up. Spot lights are pretty good and there are lights that can mimic sunlight. If you like scented candles they can help too.
I think doing exercise is great because it'll help to relax you.
manindublin gisela99920
Posted
Thanks Gisela, I found this really helpful. Yes I have been visualising me in the other apartment, blissfully happy, totally relaxed. I have made the light issue in my apartment the sole cause of my unhappiness when in reality it's been a really really tough year and half for me mental health wise, the toughest for more than 15 years. In the last few days I am starting to like my apartment that little bit more. I am starting to see it compares really favorably for what else I might have got for the money. I think the South facing apartment is not as sun filled as I imagine. The rooms are long so even when the sun shines it only gets a bit of the room. They are not modern apartments and light was not a priority but they are big.
I am really keen to get the lighting right to make it like daylight. I am looking for an electrician who is good at this.
dee06451 manindublin
Posted
manindublin dee06451
Posted
dee06451 manindublin
Posted
wayne1962 manindublin
Posted
What you have written is absolutely correct: material possessions will never alleviate innate psychological issues. They will exist no matter what you wear, look like, or what you own. All those things are band aids that might hide the wound temporarily, but beneath it still festers. You are doing the right thing in dealing with it medically and professionally. I hope you find the answer you can be comfortable with.