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Below is a copy of a letter I sent to my bowel consultant the original of which was modulated although as I have had no feedback on what was the issue with the original I have no idea how to moderate it so hopefully this new version will be acceptable
I am so in a state of complete miseryover my closed up anus that has narrowed over the entrance and if having a ring fitted for my prolapsed bladder does not solve the issues I am having I have no idea what to do.
Surely you cannot condemn me to a lifetime of digitally assisting as I am having to do so for the past six months? No one should have to face this situation and regardless of the Xrays showing an improvement since my surgery in 2012, I fail to see that this is an improvement, its a positive backwards step in terms of real symptoms and not what you read on a chart.
My sister tells me it is often very difficult to tell what "soft tissue" is doing on an X ray in any case and I suggest they are not representative of what is actually going on with me down there.
I feel I need an operation, i am aware they cost money and its possible that because I am a schizophrenic and not in gainful employ that my case is being put on the back burner. HOwever I feel I do my best as a semi retired person with numerous hobbies, poetry, art, photography, creative writing and following a weekly exercise class, and that there should be some consideration of my feelings therefore.
I'm in pain and its unpleasant, something needs to be done, my anal cavity closes up like a clamp each of the 10 - 12 times a day I have to open my bowels, things are "staggered" so that they are not coming down in "one fell swoop" and I could sit there for hours, nothing happens unless I violently strain and then proceed to digitally assist, its a nightmare for me. I am not an animal!! Please help.
I mean how does it look when people look at me admittedly horrified at my predicament medically but even more horror struck when I tell them that you at the hospital are unprepared to offer me surgical assistance?
It is not my schizophrenia that is causing these symptoms, they are very physical and real, and even if it is they still need treating just the same.
Also with regard to my previous letter where I mention the PIP and DLa dept, i sincerely hpoe that when my reviews for payment come up, and they will doubtless get in touch with you, that you QUALIFY what you say about the Xrays apparently looking better by stating that my actual physical symptoms are still basically dire. As for some mightily obscure reason, the department are STILL not awarding points for my toilet needs, and this must surely be due to the fact that a rose coloured spectacled image is being put across about my symptoms by one or other or the consultants being contacted at the time? So please can what is being said to them be moderated by the full facts the next time they get in touch as I would suggest the department needs to be FULLY informed of my actual symptoms, I will not be put down as a ranting schizophrenic when in reality I am battling daily with very real phyical bowel complaint perce!!
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