Completely lost
Posted , 2 users are following.
Hi everyone,
My boyfriend and I have just recently split up (not my choice) he suffers from depression which was diagnosed at the end of 2017. His moods changed, he became insecure and accused me of messaging other people. I originally thought he was going crazy and it was all a ‘joke’, until it kept reoccurring. I advised him to get help, which he did. He took anti depressants for around 4 months then stopped. He believed he was fine. Then steadily as the months went on, he got worse. Angry, distant, resentful. He asked for time to himself, which I respected and after the 5 days he was like a new person, the person I fell in love with. This however lasted only that day. It was then back to the distant unloving person I didn’t recognise. It has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, I was living with a person I didn’t know, one day he wanted me around, the next it was if he was repulsed and frustrated with my existence. After weeks of arguing back and forward I was exhausted, I just got the feeling he didn’t want to be with me. We mutually called it a day but I’m absolutely devastated. He has said ‘I’m being selfish, I need to concentrate on me and where I’m going’. I have asked for no contact as it’s all too hard for me. I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. I did suggest that we work on the relationship but he was more focused on ‘working on himself’. When we had the final discussion, I asked how he isn’t showing any form of emotion and he replied ‘I don’t feel anything’. I’m more worried about him than anything else right now. I’m the only person that knows he suffers from depression. He has his own business, which keeps him busy through the day and early evenings but I don’t want him to feel alone.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you all.
2 likes, 1 reply
martha38300 megan83838
Posted
It sounds like he might be going through more than depression. Perhaps you could read about Sociopathy amp BiPolar Disorder and see if you recognize either of those things in him for your own sake.
it is not your job to take care of him or whatever illness he may have if you are broken up and he has no feelings. He will either find help or he won’t. No matter what, we can’t ‘fix’ our partners or be available to support our x partners. It is not your job to fill him up and keep him from feeling lonely. That’s his job.
I think no contact is probably the best way for you to care for yourself in this situation. Your worry is wasted energy since all the horror stories we make up in our heads never do come to pass as we imagine them anyway. You are going to be alright and so will he. The fact is that it hurts to say goodbye and we empaths will try anything to avoid it. But it’s ok. It’s ok right now. And it will be more than ok later when you suddenly realize why he was ever in your life to begin with.
The world is YOUR oyster. Go get it girl!
Martha