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I read very little about Pure-O or the compulsive thoughts that can be a nightmare with OCD.
In late 2012, I had my first major OCD attack, but it was all in my head, I kept repeating a really negative set of words (I won't repeat them in case of triggers for others), but I had little idea of what it was, I had panic attacks and genuinely thought I may be losing my mind. The anxiety made the problem all the worse, and I even had physical problems as a result, like vomiting.
While it lasted only a couple of days, it returned summer 2013, and this time I was repeating different phrases non-stop in my head, and thinking of horrid things. Again, I would panic and become totally obsessed, until it felt like the thoughts were screaming at me, trying to drown out everything else.
In the UK, OCD is trivialised. We have TV shows about OCD cleaners who are thrown into a horder's house to clean it. Apparantely, the emotional and mental stress makes for good entertainment. As a result, I never thought I may suffer from OCD, I just thought repeating phrases and negative thoughts were all signs of me losing my mind. It was a scary time.
I went to the doctor about it after plucking up the courage, he told me about OCD and what the OCD community call 'Pure O', where OCD mostly manifests in the mind through repetetive negative thoughts, words and more, it's like getting a song stuck in your head, but replacing that song with perhaps the thought of a loved one passing away. Obviously, that is pretty daunting to go through.
If there are any Pure O sufferers, I've found a fantastic link to helping people understand and process what Pure O really is. It has helped me in a massive way, and I hope it can help others.
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