Concerned about my situation
Posted , 2 users are following.
I met someone that I really like and one night things got a bit intense and there was a moment (very brief) of penetration. We immediately stopped after that. At the time, I did not know that this person had herpes. I just found out and would like to know a bit more about it and an curious as to how I should feel about this. I was not told before we fooled around. What are are the chances that I now have it. For the record, I was tested a few months ago and was found to be negative. I got tested for work, not because I thought I had it.
0 likes, 5 replies
feelbroken dan21514
Posted
- no condoms or meds(antivirals): 4%
- condom or meds: 2%
- both condom and meds: 1%
I wouldn't stress it.
dan21514 feelbroken
Posted
feelbroken dan21514
Posted
Even w all that said, at the end of the day, giving someone a choice comes before my embarrassment and fears. I wouldn't even let myself get that far cooking around w someone, especially if alcohol is involved, so as to make sure no whooopsies happen from bad clouded judgement. I personally feel it is a selfish thing to do, but we are humans and we all make mistakes.
She does need to talk about it. Be aware, most people are not properly educated on it, even the ones who get it and even doctors aren't. If you think everything else is great, I wouldn't let this stop you from pursuing a relationship w her.
I think that you both should google H Opportunity and create an account on there. They provide support for discordant couples such as yourself and even stories of one having it and the other not. That site has the latest information on heroes and is completely dedicated to providing support for herpes. The moderators that run the site answer all your questions and there are pamphlets to download, to learn about it better.
dan21514 feelbroken
Posted
I do have one more question. By choosing to attempt to make something of our relationship, am I choosing to willingly become infected?
feelbroken dan21514
Posted
I know you didn't say this w ill intent, but it's not an illness. There are 8 human herpes viruses. Hence why oral and genital herpes is labeled as 1 & 2. If you ever had chicken pox, that is herpes and it lays dormant in most for life, except for some elderly, it has a recurrent and it's called shingles. That is HH3. most adults will have been infected w 3-5 by 50. Most of them such as mono aka the kissing disease and others infect us when we are infants or kids and they are dormant. Most animal carriers some sort of a virus. There are dog and cat herpes and monkey herpes. Being a living being, means we will live w viruses for life that won't kill us for the most part. Just say her skin condition.
Yes, just like every time you get behind the wheel of a car, you are choosing the risk that you may not live another day. You have a .08% chance to die a year in a car accident. Your risk of getting herpes from her if you use both condoms and daily meds is 1%, almost the same number as risking a fatal car accident, except HSV isn't fatal.
So yes, you are making the choice that she is worth the possible risk, even w it being low. That means you have got to be comfortable w this idea and you need to make it very clear to her, that you have educated yoursel;, you know the risks and you are making that choice. She is going to struggle w guilt and fear of infecting you. I will tell you what is the most devastating part after the initial phase you go through, when first diagnosed; the fear of infecting someone we care about eats us alive. Every little symptom we may have down there the next day after sex, "we" (H+ people is we) freak out fearing we passed it, because we don't trust any little itch or soreness anymore that may be the norm. We no longer trust any sensation down there. We live in constant fear. So making sure you explain to her that you understand what this entails and you trust her to take her meds and to pay attention to signs and symptoms, she will feel more at ease. Hope that helps. You both feel free to message me personally any time.