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confused and scared

Posted , 4 users are following.

1992BL
1992BL

I am a 23 year old male who just finished my final year at university with a 2:1 and was lucky enough to secure a job relevent to my course. My life seemed to be going perfectly! until I found a blister on my penis last week. I had been to the clinic recently beforehand and been checked for everything apart from herpes and was given the all clear, when i went back to the clinic to have the blister checked out the nurse said that it didnt look like herpes and didnt want to scare me, she said it could be syphilis or herpes... I had already shown negative for syphilis in my last test but she explained that it may not have been picked up at that stage of exposure? I dont know but anyway, the tests take two weeks for a result and during that time i have found another blister which is making me think i do have herpes. I am going back to the clinic to have them looked at, i always sometimes have a slight burn when urininating. I feel in my mind that i do have herpes the blisters dont look like anything i have seen on the internet but that doesnt really fill me with much confidence.

I literally dont know what to do with myself, usually i am a very confident and chatty kind of person but since this has happened I am not the same. I cant sleep at night and as my mind goes into overload, how am i going to tell my parents? what if i have passed it on to anyone else? how did i get it? why me? Is this going to ruin my chances of ever finding love again? how do i tell my friends sad 

To be honest I feel as though my life is kind of over, as dramatic as that may sound, i beleive it.

I dont really have anyone to talk to about this and am to afraid to talk about it to friends or familiy, I dont really know what anyone can do to help?

 

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • anne89073
    anne89073 1992BL

    Posted

    Hey, well it does seem like herpes but you should just wait for the test results to be completely sure. Don't panic. I found out I had hsv2 about a month ago. I am 22. I felt the same way you did. I was depressed and wouldn't stop crying and felt like my life was over. It starts off with an itch and then you form blisters that turn into ulcers. Then they pop and form scabs. I was in deep pain I couldn't urinate or even walk. But it got better. Did they give you any medication just in case? If not you should try taking salt baths and tea tree oil. Tea tree oil helps the itch go away. To be honest about 90% of people who have herpes don't even know that they have it. Meaning if you got it from a previous partner chances are they weren't aware that they had it or they didn't tell you. It is actually a very common skin condition that's all it is. The first outbreak is usually the worst so they will become less and hurt less over time. Just speak to your previous partners and let them know but you should probably wait until you get the results and you're positive. It will not ruin your sexual life. You just have to be more careful by using condoms and by not having relations whenever you have an outbreak or feel like you're about to get one. It will get better over time. I've only had it for a month and I'm telling you this because I was in the same position you were but I have learned to overcome it and accept it. After all it is just a skin condition in the genital area as I stated before.
  • justsolucky524
    justsolucky524 1992BL

    Posted

    First let me assure you that you are not alone in this! You have many things going great in your life and they will continue. It's also great that you are paying attention to your body. Getting tested and knowing what to do is the best step you can take and I'm proud of you for that. Calm down and just know that even if it is herpes it will not ruin your life, I promise you that!!! Educate yourself about it and you will begin to notice your anxiety decrease. It is extremely common yet most people that have it don't know because they may only have mild symptoms or none at all. You will be just fine and yes you will have relationships and you can have love. Everything you feel right now is normal and expected just take a look at other posts and see for yourself...notice how many people are here? We have all been where you are and your story is like many of ours...you've got a lifetime of happiness and love still in front of you, a skin condition can't touch!!! Believe in yourself and you will be ok.
  • mikarose
    mikarose 1992BL

    Posted

    Don't tell your friends and only tell family if you need to and if you know they will keep the secret.

    Does it hurt? Herpes blisters normally hurt a lot. Have you just had sex with someone within a week of getting it? Often outbreaks after within a week of exposure.

    • 1992BL
      1992BL mikarose

      Posted

      I have spoke to one of my uni friends about it who i trust, the only thing is the people i have had sex with recently are in our friendship group so I can just see everyone finding out at some point.

      Also yes i stupidely had unprotected sex with a friend and literaly like a day later i noticed a blister... They dont hurt or itch at all though? I have been taking baths with salt to keep them clean and drying with the cool setting on the hair dryer.

      I really dont know anything abiut herpes, i have been reading different stories on here i didnt even realise there was three types! I know they took a swab of the blister but i dont know what test they are doing?

      over the next coming weeks will i start to show more symptoms of herpes then? fever, itching and pain down below?

      i feel like im in a bit of a limbo right know not knowing what to do how to treat it etc.

      Also thank you justsolucky524 and anne89073 for taking the time to comment on my story, I think what im going to do is go back to the clinic for a kind of debreif becuase im clue less at the moment and feel useless, ill wait for the results and then tell partners. Not really sure how to go about doing it or what to say, I guess one of them has it and doesnt know?

       

    • mikarose
      mikarose 1992BL

      Posted

      Its a very personal thing that no one needs to know unless youve had or will have sex with them which is why I believe its best not to tell people - you can always tell them your results came back negative regardless of the outcome.

      A day is bery quick to develop symptoms and they dont sound very bad at all.  Some people just have very mild symptoms so yours may not get any worse if they arent already?  Could you speak to the friend whom you had sex with about it or would that be too awkward? 

      I hope your results come back negative.  But if you do end up having it - its not the end of the world and you will deal with it.

    • 1992BL
      1992BL mikarose

      Posted

      Got the results today i have type 2.

      Apararently type 2 is likely to reappear, I must have been very lucky to show no other symptoms or atleast have any that hurt or itched that is.

      Felt prety disgusting when i had the small blisters but they have all cleared now.. not going to let it change who i am, i am not going to tell anyone unless i get into a relationship with somone.. Its a really common STI and people can have it and not show symptoms.

      Bit anoying it might come back but should be milder aparently and as my symptoms were very mild to begin with im hoping it wont come back at all but time will tell!!

      life goes on! its not the end of the world 

  • chelsea74941
    chelsea74941 1992BL

    Posted

    I feel the exact same way ! It seems the results of the swabs aren't always accurate and I didn't get blood work done. ??

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