Constant Rocking/Imbalance - Thinking the Worst

Hi All,

This is kind of long, but it's becoming unbearable and I just need to know if anyone has any insight they can give me. 

This all started early Feb. 2015, I had been feeling a little under the weather for a few days, but didn't think much of it. I went to bed one night and woke up around 4 am or so with my ear throbbing, feverish, and the room completely spinning. I didn't know really what was going on, but I'd later be able to identify it as true vertigo. I managed to get myself up after laying still in bed for a few hours and went to work. When it only kept getting worse throughout the day, I went to a walk in clinic and was diagnosed with an Upper Respiratory Infection, and given antibiotics, meclizine, and some allergy meds, basically just throwing the book at me. Dr. Told me I'd be better in a few weeks and it'd clear up with the infection.

Well, after about 3 weeks I would say the vertigo did go away, but I was left with a chronic sense of imbalance/dizziness. It took awhile for me to understand what it really was, but it was mostly a feeling of rocking/swaying, that also came with things appearing to be moving slightly. For instance when driving, if I stopped at a stop light, it would seem like the road was sometimes moving away from me. These were all super distressing, and I started having panick attacks, which I also didn't recognize for what they were at the time. I have always been a fairly anxious person, but never to the point where I needed to be medicated/couldn't tolerate my own anxiety.

It was after about 2.5 months of all of this that I went to see a GP, who put me on Zoloft to see if it would help. I was incredibly skeptical, as I don't believe anxiety alone would cause all of these residual symptoms. I had been googling everything, at one point I was convinced it was labyrinthitis, the next week Chronic Subjective Dizziness, and the week after Disembarkment. Basically anything that could cause the rocking sensation, I was convinced I had it all. Well after being on the Zoloft for a few weeks I actually did feel bettter, like I would say I was at 90% better. I was able to live again. I would say over the next 1.5 years I was at at least 90% most days, with some dizzy spells where I would feel like a pre falling sensation, that would quickly disappear and nothing other than more frequent headaches, and a constant fear of the dizziness returning as my symptoms. I had been on 50 mg daily, a fairly low dosage from what I understand.

Well, fast forward to November 2016. I went off the Zoloft in June of this year, as I had been doing better, but didn't think I needed the meds anymore. I had gained some weight from the meds, and wanted to try and work off of them. So officially in June I came off the Zoloft. I had been doing fine for the most part, with the occasional fear of the condition returning, and brief dizzy spells. Before starting Zoloft last year, a neurologist had recommended that I have an MRI to rule out anything sinister. Well after feeling better, I figured I didn't need to, but went ahead and had one done August 2016, as I was still having headaches regularly. The neuro said it looked clear, and he didnt' notice anything unusual.

Fast forward to November 4th this year. I had just returned from a week of Jury Duty, which had been fairly stressful, and I had two concerts planned for the 6th and 7th of November. They involved a lot of driving back and forth, as they were both out of town. On the 6th I hit the road for the 4.5 hour trip to the show, and made the 4.5 hr drive back that night, got home around 5 AM and slept for a few hours. Woke up and drove the 3.5 hours for the next one, and right back again that night. This is where it all went downhill. After the first night, I had noticed that I was feeling that brief rocking sensation again, but figured I was just tired from all the driving/lack of sleep and I could sleep it off. Well over the week it didn't seem to go away. On Novebmer 12th, I was taking my gf out for her birthday dinner, and noticed I was having really off feelings, felt like things weren't steady under me, things kind of seemed like they would fall briefly, and I was having anxiety attacks again. Ended up leaving dinner early and just going home to get in bed. Over the next week it only got worse, the weekend of the 19th I had a relaxing weekend planned with some friends out of town, so the gf and I made the trip up there, even though I was still feeling awful. I spent the whole weekend in bed, feeling fairly sick overall, burning a low grade fever most of the weekend, and the rocking was still there. It was at this point that I noticed something that has stuck with me the whole time. The rocking sensation is at it's absoulte worst when I have my eyes closed, sitting/laying down with eyes closed makes it feel like a full on rocking/swaying. I have been to see an ENT who said it didn't look like anything initially was wrong, he checked out my MRI from Augusta and said he didn't notice any buildup of fluid or anything. The audiologist in office put me through a series of hearing tests that all came out clear, I'm assuming to rule out Meniere's. I have to follow up with them in a week for an ENG test...which I am terrified of, they're going to make me dizzy again to test and that's what I'm most worried of.

List of symptoms I'm still dealing with as of today:

1. Feeling of disequilibrium/rocking/swaying sensation(made worse with eyes closed)

2. Trouble focusing, eyes feel like they take a second to catch up with where I move my head

3. Fairly frequent headaches, actually had a migraine headache for two days this weekend.

4. Anxiety/panic attacks returning, sporadic jump in heart rate, indigestion, same symptoms I had last time the anxiety was bad.

5. General fatigue/malaise, I sleep way more than normal and am still tired all of the time.

6. One small one my gf noticed, is that my pupils seem to be pulsing. They are constantly changing size, but only slightly

I haven't been able to do really anything I used to, I wasn't overly active, but I had been getting back into skateboarding/disc golf/hiking which I hadn't done for years. All of that came to a screeching halt with this second bout, I have been making myself go for at least 1 or 2 10-15 minute walks a day, as I spend most days at work sitting in front of a computer.

Can someone please let me know if you're going through similar things? The most terrifying part is that I can't find anyone who has this same issue, especially regarding the rocking being worse with eyes closed. I have convinced myself every other week that I have something new, Mdds, VN, PPPD/CSD, Anxiety. I just dont' know what to think anymore. 

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