Constant worry about pets dying
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Hi all. As the title says: there are cats in my house and I can't get over the fact that they will die at some point.
My sister is currently living with me, so her 13- and 15-year-old cats are living with me too. My problem is that I am constantly hypervigilant to any signs of the cats being somehow sick and I find myself just constantly thinking about their inevitable death. In my head they might die just any day now. I have had cats my whole life but my own cats passed away three years ago, and I decided not to get cats anymore because of this exact problem - I was grieving their passing for like 8 years before they actually passed. After they passed I was heartbroken but also noticed how a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I no longer had to keep worrying about them dying. Now, life situations have brought two cats into my everyday life again, and the same thing is happening.
One of the cats (the older one) had a small accident with her leg the other day, so she was taken to the vet who also checked her health and took blood samples while she was there, and the cat seems very healthy currently. This has eased my worry about that cat, but the other one I look at and just go "yep, a dead cat walking". I'm just so sure that she has at least a heart disease or tumors or some internal organ not working properly, but I also know that some of that is my anxiety speaking. However, I can't take her to the vet for a check-up because of a lot of reasons - for one, my family knows that I get over-worried about these things so they won't enable me, and I would need them to drive me and the cat there as I don't have a driver's license (not to mention that I'd also need my sister's permission to take the cat because, well, it's her cat). They don't like taking the cats to the vet for no actual reason (like clear signs of sickness or an accident). Also, I can't really afford it - I paid for the other cat's big tooth operation so I don't have extra money anymore. Not to mention that it's not even my own cat!! I hate getting like this for a cat that's not really emotionally my responsibility (I get that technically their actual owner should worry about and take care of their well-being), it just shows how big of a problem this will always be for me.
I'm attending psychotherapy, but so far the therapist hasn't really known how to approach this other than by going over relaxation techniques to counter the physical symptoms of anxiety. So here I am! I'm quite sure that at least some other pet owners with anxiety have or have had a similar problem, so I would really like to hear if anyone's found anything useful for this situation. Some kind of mental reprogramming?
(In case it's relevant, yes I am on medication for anxiety.)
0 likes, 1 reply
jan34534 Leevi
Posted
I used to do that also. But then, as I got a little older, I was able to think about it differently. I ended up facing the fact that pets and people don’t live forever. They are a gift to us. Unfortunately you spent those eight years with worry instead of enjoying your cat.
I learned how to live in the present moment! Enjoying each moment of your life, including your pets. They bring us laughter and joy for many years. But my thinking now is I’m going to enjoy them for as long as I have them because I can’t change when they die. they have a certain lifespan, along with dogs, other animals and people. That’s the way the world is,
if I can’t change something then I tell myself it’s out of my control and there’s no point in being miserable and worrying all the time when I know that they are going to be gone at some point So. When you have that sad thought, you need to work on letting it go right away and start enjoying your cat. The more we. Focus on a thought whether it’s positive or negative, it will expand in your mind. It’s not worth being miserable for years. Waiting for a pet to die. That’s just no fun. Take care.