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Constantly feeling anxious and impending doom

Posted , 6 users are following.

SaffyBoo
SaffyBoo

Hi there,

I have always been a worrier and someone who likes to be in control of life. I have always liked things in their place and planned everything down to the last detail to avoid problems.

However, last year it has got much much worse. We had the house renovated and went through many months of upheaval, mess and stress. We had to have the builder back several times and, although all the problems were fixed, it has made me a very anxious and negative person about the house.

My home was always my haven but now I obsess about everything. I wake up fearing the worst, that the house will have a problem, the roof will leak or the toilet will break and I can't shake that feeling all day long. I freak out when I see a mark on the ceiling, fearing it is a leak.The only time I forget about it is when I am away from the house and then doom returns when I have to come back.

I have seem my GP and a therapist but only stayed for one session of therapy as she wanted me to talk about everything in general with no focus on my current situation.

I feel like I need advice on how to retrain my brain to stop worrying about everything at home and enjoy my life again.

Can anyone help?

I would love to be able to go to a meeting group where I could work through exercises.

Thanks for any help.

2 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • cnh
    cnh SaffyBoo

    Posted

    I definitely think you should shop around dor a therapist that works for you. My grandma always told me that finding a good therapist is a must...however...in order to fix your current situation, you are going to need to address a MUCH bigger picture. Just as you said, these tendencies have been there for your whole life and you've always been a worrier. I also know, from lots of experience, that the first session with any therapist is always going to be general because they need a picture of who you are in order to help you at your level. I have met a few therapists that I didn't care for at the first session and I was done so I completely understand if that's the case with this one.

    I do recommend a therapist, meditation (there are some great guided meditations on YouTube for anxiety), and also learning about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). The best book I've read is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. smile

    I wish you the best of luck!

    • SaffyBoo
      SaffyBoo cnh

      Posted

      Thanks so much for reply. I know that it is part of my personality and you are right that I need to find the right therapist for me. We just didn't click and expecting me to talk for an hour, without really offering me any guidance, just made me feel uncomfortable. I will try those things you suggest.
    • cnh
      cnh SaffyBoo

      Posted

      I completely understand, it's so hard! But just wanting to work on it is a great first step. I finally found an excellent counselor and that helps so much! But I've prob been to 20+ counsellors and only really been helped by 4. It's a good thing to be picky about.

  • amanda1827h
    amanda1827h SaffyBoo

    Posted

    Hi I am also a born worry guts through and through! I am my disabled husband s carer! And at the moment I am not coping too well as I am recovering from a hip replacement! We have a good team of carers! But sadly not for much longer! Have you tried reflexology? Its wonderful for stress! Regards Amanda
  • tracie20455
    tracie20455 SaffyBoo

    Posted

    Sometimes a therapist will take you out of your comfort zone straight away so that they can see how you react to being put under a little pressure because then they can figure out what they are dealing with and how best to help you.... Therapy is no a magic cure by any means and it's hard work to stick at it and get better. I think you should try therapy again and give it a little time to settle in and open up
  • Rainboy
    Rainboy SaffyBoo

    Posted

    Hello SB

    I'm sorry to read of the constant distress you are dealing with. The way you have described the problem, there seems as if there might be an element of obsessive thinking going on unchallenged. This can lead to catastrophising.

    Please may I ask you that although you are a worrier by nature, because your post is focused on the renovation of the house, could you tell me how long you lived there before the refurbishment and most importantly, did you have the same fears at the same intensity at that time?

    Best wishes.  :-)

    • SaffyBoo
      SaffyBoo Rainboy

      Posted

      Thanks for your post RB. We have lived here for over ten years and it has been a fuss free home. It had lots of marks, cracks, terribel wallpaper but we loved it. Now we have perfectly plastered walls which shows up everything. I have to admit that most of my anxiety is connected to the house. I don't stress about social events, talking to people, going places or doing new things. I do worry about upsetting people and making sure everything is planned well. What if? is the worst part of it all. My Hubbie says 'what's the worst that could happen?' but that sends my mind into a spin.
  • SaffyBoo
    SaffyBoo

    Posted

    So pleased that I have got in touch with a local CBT therapy unit and they are going to call on Monday for a 30 min assessment. Hope this is the start of sorting this out. Thanks for everyone's replies.
    • lynne30411
      lynne30411 SaffyBoo

      Posted

      CBT is amazing. I had in depth CBT 5 years ago when my anxiety first started. I was in tears at some sessions as she delved into my past and unlocked a lot of things I'd pushed to one side to ignore but were secretly eating away at me. Good luck with it. It helped me retrain my brain but 5 years later I'm having refresher sessions as my anxiety is back again.

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