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Controlling relationship?

Posted , 3 users are following.

jay65953
jay65953

Hi I'm in an 11 year relationship with my boyfriend and I have reason to believe that he's being controlling. Whenever I struggle to eat a meal and I give up eating it, he asks me how much of it I eat and why I couldn't manage it all. It makes me feel like a child and I'm not exactly skinny. These aren't things someone says to their partner... is it?

Thanks

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • NickOliver
    NickOliver jay65953

    Posted

    You have written to a Mental Health forum. Do you have a mental problem and he is treating you in a parental way because of that? Do you have a support worker or maybe yuo could ask for some counselling with your doctor or with Relate? But whatever I thought that you need to talk about with your partner.
    • jay65953
      jay65953 NickOliver

      Posted

      I don't think I have a mental problem, I didn't really know where else to write this post. I guess he is being parental to me.

      I have no support worker and I have already seen a counsellor for 9 free sessions (I could not have any more sessions with him after the 9th one was over)

  • si6996
    si6996 jay65953

    Posted

    I can understand what you are feeling very well as I my self just got out of a controling, abusive & distructive marriage of 12 years. If I wasn't getting beat down physically at the moment that only ment he had found something else to inform me of that in his opinion was wrong with my normal actions, my physical attributes, or ME in general. If your boyfriend is not being a genuinly concerned partner in anything he asks of you, Not just on weather your eating or not but anything that envolves your stable health maintaining, by approaching subjects of his concern with respectability, compassion & love but insted presents himself being over bearing, condecending, and well A JERK trying to scold you like a child my advice is pack his crap for him and while tossing him & his stuff to the curb tell him "I got a daddy dude & it ain't you!" fallowed by being proud of yourself for doing something that is more healthy to your mental status than you would ever think because if your like me your happy place once was the thought of always by his side, endless nights wrapped safely in his arms, & blaa blaa yeah. Taking back your life & heart from someone who doesnt deserve it creates a whole new world of possibilities to be happier. 
  • richard89308
    richard89308 jay65953

    Posted

    ask yourself why he is asking you this.  Is he concerned about how much or what you eat.   Maybe you have an eating disorder or am I wrong on this.

    Richard

    • jay65953
      jay65953 richard89308

      Posted

      Sorry, no, I don't have an eating disorder. I have difficulties swallowing because my illness makes it hard for my throat muscles to propel food down to my stomach as quickly as it otherwise would.
    • NickOliver
      NickOliver jay65953

      Posted

      What illness are you talking about? You just spoke about struggling to eat a meal - you didn't mention any illness. If that is your illness, is that not an eating disorder?
  • richard89308
    richard89308 jay65953

    Posted

    I see what you mean now. Maybe he just wants  you to have eaten enough despite the problems you are having swallowing.  I hope things improve between you both.

    Richard

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