could I be depressed?

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi.. 

I've been struggling recently with feeling exhausted, unmotivated and sad for seemingly no reason, and I feel less tolerant of things that I can usually cope with fine (e.g.  a friend of mine who pushes and pushes with regards to me doing things for her - I don't mind helping her with stuff, but she never even says thanks or returns the support so it's getting to me a bit lately). 

For the last few months I've struggled to get to sleep, but once I'm asleep, I can sleep for hours and yet wake up not feeling at all rested, meaning I end up dozing off during the day and then the cycle continues because I can't get to sleep until the early hours.  When I go out and do the simplest of things, I end up feeling knackered so easily, so I'm just feeling like I might as well not bother getting up (although I have to because of all the stuff I have to do). It's just so draining, and I'm not used to feeling like this. Up until this year I've managed to cope with various difficulties etc that would've been more likely to make me feel like this back then, if you see what I mean.

It's hard to know who to talk to about it, because as soon as I say something to my friends, they shrug it off like 'yeah everyone's tired, you know' (I'm a 20yr old student at uni) or 'you're just stressed because of exams.' But the thing is, I just feel like that's really dismissive, because I'm feeling worse and worse and I can't believe that it's normal to be like this, and my exams are all done for this year now anyway.

I saw my GP last week and I've had some blood tests done to either get answers or eliminate certain physical things. But I don't get the results for that until next week, and I just feel so hopeless at the moment. The GP barely asked me anything, really, and didn't ask me how I felt in terms of emotionally/mental health. All she wrote down was that I was 'feeling tired all the time' (I know because I saw her notes on the nurse's screen when I had my blood tests).

I've always been quite good at being on my own, independent etc (although I do have a lot of friends), but I just can't stop crying over the simplest things (for example the aforementioned friend being demanding, or today, talking with my mum on the phone and trying to get her to understand why I needed her and my stepdad's help with something next month. Stepdad reckons my dad should do this particular thing, but I can't exactly ask him; my dad and I don't have a bad relationship but let's just say I never hear from him until I get in contact with him. The day I get a phone call from him is the day I eat my hat.)

It's not that I have anything to even be unhappy about, really. I don't know. A build up of things, maybe. But I just wished someone would listen without dismissing whatever it is I'm feeling with something like 'oh I'm stressed too, did you know that I've got a bad cough -' (!!!) I understand that everyone has their own problems of course, and it's not like I want pity or something from them, I'd just like to feel like there was someone there who would just listen and offer some support. I worry about piling this stuff onto my mum because I don't think she could handle it (especially as she's not been the most understanding person regarding my nan's (Mum's mum) bouts of depression). And the one friend who I think would actually let me cry on her shoulder, so to speak, is someone who suffers from depression herself, and I feel like if I said something to her she'd think that I've not got any reason to be feeling this way compared to her (who has had an even more difficult childhood etc)

Sorry, this post got very long. Thanks to anyone who reads or comments on this. It's nice just to be able to write it all out to be honest.

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi

    It sounds like depression but it's good that you have had blood tests because you could have an under active thyroid as this is sometimes mistaken for depression because the symptom are very much the same especially the tiredness. If I was you I would wait till you get your test results then take things from there and if it is depression your GP will offer help with it 

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  • Posted

    Hi Laura when you go back to the doctors explain further how you feel sometimes we say I'm feeling tired all the time because we don't know how to explain how we really feel, tearful emotional and confused because we don't know why we feel this way when there's no reason but it's a build up of emotions that have to come out somewhere, many times in my life it looks like I have everything so I ask myself why am I so sad and so upset by everything I have five beautiful grandchildren but when I'm around them I have to force myself to be happy and cheerful because no one really knows how I feel except my lovely husband who has put up with me for many years and understands me. Explain to your stepdad that you need help from your mum and him on this occasion and that you will try not to ask for help too often as you are usually able to manage. Your friend who suffers from depression is probably the best one to talk to as she will know how your feeling and might be able to offer some advice just because you know she's been feeling depressed it does not mean she

    wont want to offer support to you try her and see how you get on lots of people have periods of depression in their life from time to time sometimes it's a build up of feelings and emotions but if you are not completely honest with the doctor they won't know how to help you

    my best wishes to you take care of yourself

    suex

     

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  • Posted

    Laura u have all the classic signs of depression. Keep a diary of all UR feelings ...always good to take with u to the dr. Appt. Anti depressants can help as well as cognitive therapy.
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  • Posted

    Hi Laura,

    just checking in with u.. Hoping to hear from u?. PLZ see UR dr. Help is there,, just need to ask.. That a first step.. 

    Very concerned friend.

    warm gentle hugs sent UR way.

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    • Posted

      Thank you smile Seeing the doctor next tuesday, and I'm doing the diary thing so hopefully that'll help. All my blood tests came back normal so I now know there's not anything wrong with my thyroid etc. Spoke to someone at uni today (I vaguely mentioned to them that I wasn't feeling good) who said that once I've seen the doctor I should let my subject department know if I need support, so that's a bit of a relief. 

      Thanks for getting in contact. Warm hugs right back to you smile

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  • Posted

    Hi Laura  I'm glad you have started your road to recovery you sound really positive which is the way forward sometimes just getting it all of your chest gives you confidence, so well done and remember everyone is always on here should you need them, I'm having my own battle at the moment with my youngest sister who is married with two children and has everything she needs for a happy life but I have just found she is severely suffering from this illness she had shut herself away from everyone for a long time and it's only now I have realised how bad she feels there is 20 years between us and a lot of the time I feel like her mum, our mum is 84 and is unable to see what's been happening as well so its only me who knows , she's defensive and is shutting herself away from everyone and I'm afraid to say she is drinking heavily to block it all out, her husband does not know how to help her and she's pushing away with fictitious reasons, and I am so worried for her children who is 10 and 13 I am trying to support her but she's very clever at putting a brave face on and making it sound that she's fine any advice from anyone will be helpfull I know she needs to go to the doctor but it has to be her idea not mine I have tried  to talk to her this week but today she said she wants to be on her own and does not want to talk to anyone I'm the eldest of five siblings and have always thought I could look after them (I'm 62)

    but I'm not sure if I'm helping her any advice would be welcome

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    • Posted

      Your intentions are honorable. However, UR sis I'd in a deep state of denial. She has to want to stop drinking... There is nothing u or even if our Heavenly Father appeared to her asked her to stop... She would not until she wanted to admit that she is a alcoholic and take the necessary steps to become sober. It's a sickness so horrible that alcohol takes over every thought in the brain to crave the next drink. All behaviors are directed around the cravings and nothing or no one can help her stop.. Until she wants to stop... The alcoholic mind is a good book to read & understand the way alcohol cravings take over the brain so strong .like any addiction no one want to suffer the horrible pain alcoholics do.
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