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I've always had bad self esteem and body image issues. But recently since I had my doctor I've started taking laxatives to lose weight. I'll take a whole box or drink a whole bottle of milk magnisea.
I've cut back to only one small meal every few days and right now I haven't really eaten in four days.
I have to weight myself contently because if I don't know how much I weight I freak out. If I eat anything my first thought is to get it out of me. Food in general has been making feel sick lately. It's becoming gross. Even the site of it or somebody eating is gross.
I need to eat but the number on the scale just keeps going down and I'll tell myself this is my last laxative. I'll eat tomorrow. But the number will be low and I'll think that if I do it for one more day then it'll get lower.
I'm wondering if I could be devopling an ED. I'm not super thin. Infact, ever since having my dsughter I'm a little over weight. Would I even be aware of it if I had one?
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