Could I have ocd

for as long as i can remember i have thought i could

have ocd but dont know how to see if i actually have

it. im not going to self diagnose but i always

assumed i could have it. i am weird with most

numbers except 5 and sometimes 3. the first time i

really noticed strange behavior was when i was 15

(im 18 now) me and my family were getting ready to

visit my moms boyfriends house that we were going

to move into. i have always been convinced that if i

dont do certain things then something bad will

happen. so since i was a kid i would always knock on

wood 3 times when i was nervous. well a week

before we were going to visit i picked this habit

back up but it slowly got worse. it started with me

just knocking on wood 3 times with my right hand.

then i thought it was uneven so i knocked on wood

with my right hand 3 times and then my left hand 3

times. then i started getting bugged by how the

knocks sounded. if they didnt sound the same and

were spaced apart the right way i would have to

restart and try again or something bad would

happen (i thought and still think like this).

eventually i realised that with the 3 on the right and

the 3 on the left it was the number 6. i was

convinced if i didnt change it then something bad

would happen because the number 6 is an evil

number. so i changed it from 3 knocks to 5 knocks

on each hand. it made me feel better for a little but i

didnt like how it felt and sounded and after it going

on and on i ended up doing 5 knocks on each hand 5

times starting on the right and ending on the right. when we finally visited the house it all stopped when we went back home. now i do the same behavior with every single thing i do except not

knocking but just doing that specific thing 5 times

with each hand 5 different times for 25 in total. for

example, when i wash my hands after going to the

bathroom i have to do 5 pumps of soap 5 different

times (i dont do full pumps so its a normal amount

as if i just did one) and wash my hands normally

then rinse each hand the same way (5 times in each

hand 5 different times). or if im eating something i

have to take 5 bites before i can go on my phone

then i watch 5 different tik toks before i can eat

again. i really dont want to live like this but if i dont

then what ever i am scared of will come true (im a

hypochondriac). i am also a severe germaphobe and

if something touches me that i think is dirty i have

to wash my hands the same way i always do. does

that sound like ocd? what could it be if not ocd? if i

dont do certain things a certain way i have to

completely restart 5 times of the same thing until i

feel its good enough. when i was a kid i would

constantly lock and unlock the front and back doors

to make sure they were really locked. who can i talk

to to see whats wrong?

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