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Could really use some positive reinforcement, folks!

Posted , 14 users are following.

Sassylass
Sassylass

CFS, ME, SEID, whatever it is. Been dealing with it, trying to stay upbeat, even given advice to others. But I've got to tell you, having a really bad day today. Well, longer than that but....

I guess I've just got to vent and so here I go.

I'm 53 years old and my life is just passing me by. I cannot resign myself to feeling like this for the rest of my days. Trying to be as proactive as I'm able most days, Well, some days, but jeez it just seems so ridiculous to have to DRAG yourself through the day.

But then I look at other people who have far more to overcome than I do, and I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself. I look at elderly people with complete Awe because I see so many of them out doing what I am not. I get angry at myself and think that maybe I'm just being a wimp, but I know that isn't the case. I don't need counseling, or antidepressants, BTW, I guess I just needed to write it out. Just so tired of bein tired, and I know about pacing, acceptance and all that but I just really hope for a miracle instead. Anyway, I end this day as I do every day, hoping for a better day tomorrow.

5 likes, 50 replies

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  • Sassylass
    Sassylass

    Posted

    Hi guys, just wanted to clarify something in my original post. When I said. "I don't need counseling or antidepressants

    BTW" I meant only that for myself those needs have already been adressed. I ABSOLUTELY did not mean to imply in any way that those things are not beneficial. In fact, I think taking care of your mental health is especially crucial to us, and not doing so will only compound the physical challenges we face, in my humble opinion. George makes a good point though, to Not allow the docs to "write off" your symptoms by calling it all "depression".

    • seidman
      seidman Sassylass

      Posted

      Very well said.

      It's essential to take meds for real brain based disorders, including depression, OCD

      But don't accept a doctor's 'hypothesis' that CFS is one of those things. I am fortunate that I've never had depression - yet now the clinic hypothesises that my fatigue is due to me having had a go getting successful career!

      A huge study has been done in the USA that shows CFS/ME are NOT linked to personality types or affluence.

    • Sassylass
      Sassylass seidman

      Posted

      I am not trying to be insulting to doctors,

      but if any of you develops symptoms of depression AFTER you have been diagnosed with CFS, I strongly urge you to see a different doctor for managing the depression.

      The reason I say this is because as soon as the depression enters the picture the doctors stop listening. It is just way too easy for them to write everything off to depression. I have seen it time and time again, the total change in attitude once the D word is mentioned. Suddenly, depression is looked at FIRST as the reason for your symptoms, and the tests don't get ordered, you aren't taken as seriously, and you get a lot of "wait and see" attitude. And that is just wrong.

  • nannettesea
    nannettesea Sassylass

    Posted

    There's a book called the Survivor's Club, and I really liked one of the points that said  trauma or crisis isn't relative.  Meaning, we all suffer, and we shouldn't compare our suffering to other's.  

    Even though it's completely irrational, I sometimes feel shame for being ill.  More specifically, shame because I haven't been able to get better.  Then, I let it go.  Mindfulness tools help me a lot.

    Kudos for you for not needing counseling or anti-depressants, though I think it's perfectly ok.  At least for me.  I've done both, and now taking small amounts of meds to keep me stable.  This is a really depressing illness--as are most long-term conditions--so whatever healthy avenue one needs to take is good in my book.

    I've found that fighting what I have doesn't help me.  It sucks my energy, and I can't afford anything that does that.  While I remain hopeful that I can improve, I also try to accept what IS. 

    Hope that helps.

  • Sassylass
    Sassylass

    Posted

    Hi all!

    Really feel the need to clarify this...

    Antidepressants and counseling are great tools and probably something many of us will need to utilize at one point or another.. I have. All I was saying in my post originally was that was not what I needed because I've got that part handled. I was just trying to get some new input....you know how it is, when you are just so fed up with the never ending feeling the same way, telling yourself "maybe tomorrow" and you just pray for any new info or idea that might help. That's all, so I don't want anyone to think I was not all for whatever works. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good day.

    🍀🍀🍀🍀🐢🍀🍀🍀🍀

    • bronwyn97278
      bronwyn97278 Sassylass

      Posted

      Morning Sassylass; Yes, I too kep looking for New ways to help get me through each day....expecially when another part of my body goes (this is with my Fibro, though, not just the CFS).....so if anyone does find something New, that hasn't been mentioned, then please pass it on.....and as Sassylass says....SOMETHING NEW...........winkBron
    • ChrissyC
      ChrissyC Sassylass

      Posted

      I'm hearing you Sassylass. Like you I have had need of anti depressants and counselling in the past as a completely different issue from my ME. I received the help I needed then, I worked really hard and that part of my life is now sorted. I managed to come off the antidepressants completely eventually. And THEN I got ME! Even though having ME upsets me greatly and makes me feel very down at times, nonetheless it has not sent me back into depression which is a very different thing and place all together. I can however fully understand why having ME might tip someone else over into depression and would then recommend seeking whatever help was needed. But I agree also that it can then be easy for doctors to just put everything you are feeling down to being depressed.
  • Longtallval
    Longtallval Sassylass

    Posted

    Hi Sassylass,  I completely and utterly undersatand your frustration because I am 55 and going through all of that myself.  I have resigned myself to not match myself to others with worse illnesses, because it doesn't help my day-to-day illness of M.E. at all.  I try to put myself in their shoes, but it's impossible, because, like you say, some elderly people are suffering immensly with old age stuff, and cancer sufferers are going through hell.  But thinking and feeling sad for these people doesn't help our own illness.  I and I know many other M.E/CFS sufferers go through our own hell, and have to deal each day with setbacks and having to stay in bed - as you say, passing our lives by.

    I am very much like you, in that I take each day as it comes, but when I have to go out (I have just returned from DWP) I need to go to bed when I get home.  I am typing this before I throw myself on to my bed in a moment.  It is worrying and so stressful because we are still relatively young and should be out enjoying life, and not letting life pass us by.

    I don't need counselling, antidepressants etc like yourself, but I wish that they would come up with a drug or anything, to give us back our lives.

    I am with you in every step of the way, and only wish you well, and that your life will come back and that you can get out there and enjoy life once again.

    Keep up your optimism, as I do too, and I hope and pray that tomorrow you WILL have more strength to get better very soon.  Take care, Val xx

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