Crying
Posted , 6 users are following.
I have had depression for quite a long time but my anxiety has got really bad. I cant stop crying, I just feel so numb and alone. I moved house two years ago this September and I hate the area. I love the house but I have no idea why I bought in this area as it is so busy and dangerous. I cycle for my physical and mental health but I am finding myself cycling back to the area I moved from because it is so much calmer and safer, I feel like a total failure for not noticing this and feelings of worthlessness have got bad. I dont think I could go through moving again as it was very stressful, just typing this makes me feel better. I tend to hide how I feel and just smile.
0 likes, 13 replies
sam18386 sue162
Posted
hi sue, a move is a huge wrench! you have to feel comfy where you live, you have to have trust in the people around you. can i ask what made you move, how did you feel when you left your last neighbourhood? what made you leave, how do you feel away from there? do what your gut says, do what you feel is right! you have to feel comfortable, you have to feel 'safe'! go do what YOU need....
sue162 sam18386
Posted
HI Sam,
Many thanks for your reply. I have a husband, we left the last house after a long time of putting up with an elderly bully neighbour who for no reason just didnt like us. i didnt want to leave my lovely home but didnt want to continue living next to the bully. so relieve getting away from him. When I am away from here I feel de stressed and free and cycle back to my old area which is more country side and less traffic on bike. I thought moving was for keeps last home and feel we bought in lockdown panicking. I didnt sleep at all last night and keep getting bad headaches. i feel in a hole I just cant get out of. I have explained to husband but he just thinks its mood. I feel grateful after what people in Ukraine have to endure I know that but I live once and worry I live somewhere that to get out of will require huge effort like before to get moved. also my last home did have lovely people who would take care of looking at my home when away nobody speaks to anyone here so I have lost some lovely neighbours too. I think we were bullied out of our last home as I didnt really want to leave. I created a wildlife garden and I miss all that I think that raised my esteem. IM just so lost right now. xx
jan34534 sue162
Posted
you don’t need to hide how you feel Sue. It’s important to be able to express your feelings to someone. Your feelings are real. it sounds as though you are very depressed about this. Is there anyway you could speak with a counselor? That person could really help you and possibly give you some ideas and resources of what you could do. You could even do the counseling right at home virtually. take one day at a time. Eventually there will be a solution to this. That way you can feel a lot better! eventually it may mean that you will have to do another move but don’t look too far into the future yet. Get some help for your depression first that way you can see things more clearly. I hope you feel better soon!
sue162
Posted
Thank you Jan. i was taught to hide feelings growing up. we didnt view enough houses either, just panicked buying it. sometimes if you didnt have depression you think would you feel this way or is it depression making you this way. Its very worrying. i read that things when deciding on a house that you dont like will amplify when in it, I understand that and it makes me feel less crazy. PEople replying makes me feel less crazy. xx
jan34534 sue162
Edited
your feelings are very normal. It’s normal to feel like that when you live in an area that you don’t like. So you are definitely not crazy! I think I would feel the same as you.
you are also not a failure. We are human and we have thoughts and feelings. Try to think of things like this as a learning process.
All of us have done something we regret but you learned what you would not do again and that’s good to know that for the future! That is a Positive way to look at this!
you have a great value in this world!
dont beat yourself up. Go Forward from here with a more positive outlook! things will work out. Give it some time. You’re going to be OK! ❤ we are here for you
sue162
Posted
thank you Jan just had to thank you. Just trying to keep calm and not panic as it is making me ill. I was sick twice last night and twice when I got up so I need to stop blaming myself. Thank you x
jennifer29157 sue162
Posted
Hi, Sue! I want hug you very tightly! I think your emotions and feelings are normal. Moving is always a big stress for us. When you leave your usual place, it is really uncomfortable. Do what you want and seek your own interests. Maybe you should talk to your husband about considering another ways? To make you feel better again?
sue162 jennifer29157
Posted
HI Jennifer, I would love a hug. Had a melt down of upset with partner and I dont think he knew I felt like I did. He said we can move now if I want but I said we will wait and see if its just emotions at the present. I think there is no community here so I maybe like to feel part of one and there isnt one, I didnt realise this.
My other house some neighbours were so nice, I seemed to click with that house immediately.
My headaches have gone I have felt sick but not been sick. Partner has been kind to me since I told him how bad I felt. I have friends but I never tell them negative things for fear of been a burden. Thanks for reading and posting, everyone has their own troubles. x
jennifer29157 sue162
Posted
You are really wonderful person, Sue!
I don't think you should be afraid to tell your friends about your feelings. First of all, real friends stay with you not only when you feel good, but also when you feel bad. I'm sure you need to share what's going on inside of you. As long as you keep everything to yourself so as not to be a burden to anyone, you are harming yourself first of all. So well done for venting your feelings, at least to us! Hug you! ^^
sam18386 sue162
Posted
well done sue! at last your husband knows, he'll just want you to be happy! you may now be able to move forward, your health could well improve and hopefully you will end up feeling happy. it's good you could say, that's a truthful and honest thing. 😁
sue162 sam18386
Posted
I think it was a shock to him Sam. I couldnt control my upset. I am more honest with friends to be honest, he is a very caveman sort of man. My emotions are up and down and I analyse myself so much. Thank you for kind words.
sam18386 sue162
Posted
i am very glad you told, that's the first step made! you must feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. well done! treat yourself the girl done good! 😁
DivyaParvin sue162
Posted
Hey it’s perfectly normal to feel sad and cry your heart out. We’re humans and full of certain emotions. You should talk to your husband more openly and I believe he will understand you or you can try talking to a friend or a counsellor. You must express your feelings and it will help you feel better. I know moving is tough but you’re strong and you can do this. Don’t be harsh on yourself, things will definitely workout. Good Luck.