crying...don't know what to do

i no just how u feelin it been a while since been on site it been rough not no how or wot 2 say.At the moment i feel so crap never felt so alone and isolated am terrified feelings and emotions all over feel i not worthy or capable of doin anything people constantly puttin me down, workin stupid hours to stop me thinkin about things but it not workin it just makin me worse but i am so scared off dealing with things idont no how 2 cope or if i can. Iam totaly on my own tryin 2 keep an act up infront of people but it gettin harder and so painfull it killin me inside.The tears just fall,not remember the last time i slept havin terrifiying nightmares not able 2 eat locked self away bad thoughts in head. I wonder is it worth it any more

Hi girl and shadow

I'm so sorry to read you are both having a difficult time :cry:

To be honest, you really do need to let your friends, family, colleagues etc know you aren't too well at the moment.

It is bad enough to suffer from this evil demon without having to deal with it alone and try and hide it from your close friends and family.

Imagine if you had a friend suffering like you are and they hid it from you and tried to struggle through it alone :shock: I bet you would have wished they had told you - right?

It is now when you need your friends and family more than ever. Please don't shut them out - true friends will stand by you and be there for you. Family will most certainly be, I'm quite sure.

Good luck and I hope the dark cloud soon shifts for the both of you.

Melbi x

Hi girl, how are you? Ive not heard from you in a while- are you okay,,ish?

I know you wrote that message a while back, though, i was thinking how you should de stress yourself a little , try not to worry so much about everything, sometimes those closest to you know more than they let on, just like you are trying to hide your pain. This helps, in a bizaree way , so that when you are ready to talk, they will only be to pleased to listen.

I hope you are doing okay. I have been (well i will pm you and let you know)

Hugs, I hope you are okay 8)

Hi guys

thanks for the posts

managed a good few days at work and even did a trade show at the weekend, with new pieces! :D :lol: Had to really, was already paid for and was sharing a stand with my mum so couldn't canx.

Have to try and carry on but feeling so down again. Don't know what is worse feeling down constantly or the rollercoaster that I am on at the moment.

students are back, galleries and exhibitions wanting new work. I feel the panic in me all the time, not just about getting it done on time - thats good panic - but just dealing with people. Am smoking far more than I used to, find myself wanting one as I near college - to help with the anxiety.

People keep comenting on the fact I have lost weight and look better - obviously I [b:d9ae8b33d5]was[/b:d9ae8b33d5] hideous before. Trouble is I now don't care about myself and want to binge all the time, still thinking about food constantly but just in a wrong way.

Got referral questionaire for psychotherapy yesterday. is prob going to take months to be seen but hope it will help. Saw CPN last week, it went ok - I was feeling quite good though - and although I know I was told can ring her if feeling bad but don't want to bother her, others prob feeling worse, have appoint in a wk and a bit.

Melbi - you dead right, I would want to help any friend in pain but that doesn't mean they feel the same about me. Recently someone I have looked out for on many occasions, even when I shouldn't have didn't bother stopping another friend getting into a bad mess. Hence why i think it doesnt' work both ways.

Anyway hope you guys all ok

Take it easy and be in touch soon

Girl