Cure depression without taking any medicines!

You guy's are going through a tough time, acceptance of clinical depression can be difficult if not impossible for some people until problems become too much, then it sinks in! There's a very good website by Douglas Bloch which offers all areas of help and advice, this guy went through hell himself and would be a good starting point for your husband to begin at as he points out the roads to recovery. He does push his books a little but there's so much info on the site including videos to listen to. Tell your husband it isnt his fault, its a medical condition which needs fixing just as a broken leg and such, just this is with the mind. You and he will be suprised what you will learn from this site, including a very long list of famoues people who have suffered with depression such as Buz Aldrin (Appolo Astronaught).  For myself I'm also a professional, I woke up from a serious operation to full clinical depression and wondered what the hell had hit me!  I have spent the past 6 months since researching depression and trying various meds which don't fit well with me.  Mirtz was the only one I could half tollerate, but am now nearly taperred off it. 

What ever your going through now, it will pass. Be strong, hopefully you have family that can help, and hopefully they can understand.  The old name for clinical depression is 'nervoues breakdown' I found that people understood this better as its more understandable than 'depression' which sounds like just having a hard misserable time to most people.

Take care and warmest regards

Norman

That's really very kind of you, I will definitely take a look at the website, I know it's not easy for men to admit I've read the book I don't want to talk about it by Terrance Real. 

We are going through a dreadfull time, just had radiotherapy for skin cancer and lost two relatives too. 

My husband seems to have given up on us after 34 happy years, he is no longer communicating with any of us, the kids have cut him off as they can't cope with it.  I feel pretty much on my own apart from the support of my husband's sister who has been very kind and truly amazing. 

He's in the process of trying to Divroce me despite telling me and confirming by email it is all down to the stress, pressure and bullying at work?  (I found symptoms of unoffical depression) I was shocked to discover that outbursts of separation and Divorce is the norm. 

He left 8 months ago trying to sort this on his own and so far he hasn't been able to do it.  He's gone from saying he doesn't need anyone's help, to he knows he needs help and now says we will have to disagree he has any issues! 

I've tried allsorts to encourage him to seek help and understand the panic attacks as I've had them myself, at the height of the attacks I wanted someone to kill me so I didn't have to experience another.  As a result of the panic attacks I ended up with Agoraphobia so I know it's one step at a time.

I've told him he's not to blame, there are millions of people in the same postition but he says everything feels permanent and negative but if you've ben through somehting like this yourself you know the feelings don't last forever, there is hope.  Having said that I was quite worried to discover several diaries going back to his teenage years mentioning depression.  He seems to think it could be some sort of mid life crisis but I would have thought he would have wanted to make is life better not worse.  Professionals have hinted at borderline personality disorder, bipolar, mania and psychosis, he's mentioned he had put the bully who had bullied him at work in a box and now says that because I have talked about the bully he's come out of the box?

I'm now trying to look at this from an outsider and can see that everyhting is crumbling around him, it's very much like watching a high speed train crash in slow motion.  If I am honest the job had to go in my veiw his heatlh and our family are more important.  He said that people at work have hurt him and that's where his panic attacks started.  It's so very sad as he's lovely but seems to be his own worst enemy, we just hope that he gets better.

I can relate to your operation and having depression my friend had breast cancer and after a mastectomy dropped into depression.

I'm really pleased to hear you are doing well and once again thank you for your kindness. 

Yes, depression see's only negativity and no light at the end of the tunnel, which is likely why your husband isnt yet finding a way out! I know this forum is public domain, but if you love him be patient as he cannot help a lot of whats happening to him. Yes, easy for me to say but 34 years is worth even a few years of hardship or difficulty. I'm sure just being there for him and him knowing that would mean the world to him.  I know it becuase my wife has also supported me through this difficul time we are going through.  After ,my op my company supported via sick leave for a few months then let me go, strangely enough it was a bully there who fired me! I reported directly to him.

Just remember nothing stays the same, everything passes no matter what it is!  Your sis in-law sounds great. Hopefully your husband will change his way of thinking as we all need our familys to get through.

If you would like to email me privately then please do, but I don't know how on this site, please don't give out your email.

Take care and warmest regards

Norman

Thanks for trying to help me make sense of it.  I've stood by him all this time and despite people telling me to move on I don't intend to, it's my decision and I know the way he's acting and what he's saying are all totally out of character.  I joined a local support group and met a lady who is highly intelligent who is suffering depression, she told me she had done something silly which she had regretted, it made me realise that people don't do these things when they are normally well so that helped make sense of it too.

It doesn't surprise me to hear about your job and the experience you have had too, they "appear" to support then get rid, sounds like this may have happened to my husband,  The colleague who told the boss my husband has depression is now doing his job, the boss said my husband was too expensive to get rid of and all she was concerned with was whether he was abusing alcohol and his health was her priority, sadly I feel all that she was interested in was her own self preservation.  The bully was got rid of last year but my husband is the one left with the scars and unable to do relationships. 

We have emailed and told him we are all here for him no matter what but not pressured him anyway.  I've not asked him to come back I've told him it's his choice but so far he doesn't want any help and seems adamant he doesn't want a relatioship with me.  However, I know it is the job and work and myself and our family are not to blame.

We really do hope things will change but think he will have to hit rock bottom before he can progress.  I'm so very lcuky to have the support of his sister, she loves him to and has written to him many times but only ever received one letter where he said he felt guilty he has had to push us all awyay.  He also told her his head had felt clearer, oddly in the 8 months he's been away he hasn't managed to redirect his post.

Thanks for your kindness and understanding.

Jackie