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CURVE BALL!!!!

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tina89895
tina89895

Does anyone get pleasure out of self harm??

Been 7 weeks off mirtazapin,after a slow withdrawal following the posts on here from other people. only seem to get an upset stomach every morning been quite anxious on and off during the working day, taken 5 mg of diazapam on the odd occasion to try and calm down, been out for walks and lost time being on a different planet, lost time at work due to derealisation, Been abandonned by my CPN as she has been sick for the past  3 weeks, awaitng the conclusion of assessemnt which was very intense but he is off the past week plus wants to speak to my son also for input before the final diagnosis. But I am getting a kick out of cutting my stomach it is a bit of a mess...Is this wrong or am I loosing the plot?

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • tina89895
    tina89895

    Posted

    Plus looking at buying a car this weekend and spending a s*** load of money of my inheritance just for the crack cos I can and my car is still in the garage after aweek as it has bamboozeled ( not sure if spelt right) the mechanics what is wrong with it, But do you know I don't really care.....plus it is on the 31st a year to the day that I tried to drown myself, has that got something to do with it????
  • orange12933
    orange12933 tina89895

    Posted

    Not good. Have you spoken to a counsellor?
    • tina89895
      tina89895 orange12933

      Posted

      No not for the past 3 weeks, been blocking stuff out cos I have noone to talk to that hopefully understands me. I've been abandonned by everyone except my bereavement councillor who I am due to speak to on Thursday. She has been my only constant over the past 1 1/2 years. i think i have lost if totally this evening I am such a high can't put eveything on here but I am ridi ngthe surf haven't felt this good for such a long time but I think it is unhealthy high,,,,,
    • tina89895
      tina89895

      Posted

      But it feels soooo good.....
    • orange12933
      orange12933 tina89895

      Posted

      I know how you feel. I don't self-harm but I'm obsessed with biting my lips. Drives me nuts. Do it a lot if I'm stressed out.
    • tina89895
      tina89895 orange12933

      Posted

      Even biting your lips can be a form of self harm, it doesn;t have to be cutting, scratching etc. i'm sure that is just as sore, I hate having cold sores they are so painful. but at the moment the pain is good....  I don't even phsysically feel stressed out but I suppose from the dearealisation I am mentally stressed it has been getting worse as the week has gone on. I have to keep going outside in the wind, sleet etc it malkes me feel so alive.... 
    • orange12933
      orange12933 tina89895

      Posted

      Biting my lips is only thing that calms me down if that makes sense. Been doing it for years.
  • betsy0603
    betsy0603 tina89895

    Posted

    Hi Tina, would you say this all came on after coming off mirtazapine, or have you been a cutter in the past?  You sound like you are in a manic state.  If this is all unusuall for you, it might still be withdrawal from mirt.
    • tina89895
      tina89895 betsy0603

      Posted

      Hi Betsy I have been self harming on and off for the past year and a half, often scratching but then started cutting. Tend to cut more now but last night was the first time I got enjoyment out of it instead of doing it to relieve anger/tension so I don't think it is related to withdrawal. I do feel bloated quite a lot and sleep in 3 hour slots but haven't really noticed anything else different apart from not eating like there si no tomorrow.

      Now in the light of day reading back on what I have written almost seems as if it wasn;t me if that makes sense. Maybe I am more stressed out than I thought. Stomach is very sore though good reminder.

      Still buying a new car tomorrow have arranged with the garage etc.

       

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