D-Day is this weekend!!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi if some of you know about my history, D-day is what I call it, is this weekend confronting my uncle. 

I feel sick in the stomach, as if numb, I'm seriously over thinking now. I'm going to be a right mess, plus I go back to work, been off for nearly 2 weeks. 

It's all coming out to the family, I'm in such a mess again! 

Please I need all your help now to calm me down and see it as a good thing and a door closing. 

Xx

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  • Posted

    Hey Laura.

    You have made a huge decision. One that I'm sure you have thought very much about and feel the need to do. You really do not need our validation,you feel you have to do this and so it's the right thing for you.

    Dont be scared. Show him he didn't break you. You need to confront him with as much dignity and strength you can muster. Let him know that you never forgot what he did and you just wanted to make him aware that you hadn't forgot.

    You have been so brave. You are doing this for you xxx

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  • Posted

    It is a good thing you will finally have closure and hopefully move on and finally be able to be yourself please focus on the benefit of doing this it is for you to finally lay your demons to rest we will all think of you and give you hugs you are being so brave
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    • Posted

      jason,

      You hit the nail right on the head.  To have closure and to move on is the right course of action for laura.  There will be, however, trouble in Trouble City.

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  • Posted

    I feel so sick to the pit of my stomach, worst than how I felt driving up to my mums to tell my dad. I know it's closure but what if he denies it all, there's going to be a lot of shouting maybe a fight with my brother. 

    Right now I feel like running away, I don't feel well as it is. It's all going to come out to the family do t even know how my aunt will be with me. 

    I've felt fine and now this. 

    X

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    • Posted

      Your family will be on your side and on your side chick. Remember..you have done nothing wrong. If he denies it,which is very probable,that's his problem. You just go there and do what you have to do. Just the fact that you have brought this into the open will be enough to get other people in your family questioning him. So if he denies it or not..the seed will be sown and then it will be his turn to suffer and try and pick up the pieces of his life xx
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    • Posted

      I hear your words but I just can't fully take it in, I'm going to be a right mess Gill, I just feel sick!! But I feel so ill I think I could sleep, all tho I kno I wouldn't be able too otherwise. 

      Xx

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    • Posted

      We are all with you chick....And we are here for you afterwards.

      (((HUG)))

      Its easy to say "be strong", I know it's harder to put into practice so I will say...just be whatever you have to be. Don't overthink it. Just accept that this is how you feel today. Tomorrow is a different day xx

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    • Posted

      Exactly what I say Gill tomorrows a new day, just ive got counselling we'd morning now at 11 and back to work at 2, so no doubt I'll be upset. Tempted to go to work tomorrow and just let them know I don't think I could face work this week now. 

      Just want to curl up into a ball and just stay like it. 

      Xx

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  • Posted

    Hello laura,

    Apparently I do not know your history regarding D-day, but realizing your comparison with the original D-day in World War II, I certainly get your signifigance regarding what is happening within your life between you and your uncle.  I can only surmise, however, what your major problem is with your uncle.

    Your physical symptoms stated, are coming, I believe from your anxieties you are experiencing with this "fight" that will occur this weekend.  I really would like to know what this fight and why, is over.

    But, you need all the help you can get, to calm you down.  OK, I am certain there are other people out in the world that has been in your shoes right now.   You have made it a choice to confront your uncle, to get whatever the cause of the war in front of your familyof your family.  And you have also stated "see it as a good thing and a door closing".

    That is positive, regardless of whatever the cause.  And you should be commended for your strong will and actions upcoming this weekend.  Just realize, though, that whatever sin this uncle may have committed against you, one should not hate the sinner, but hate the sin.

    I render my full support to a woman as yourself, to attempt to close the door of any sin against her by anyone.  This proves you are strong and the time is not ripe for you to do whatever you have to do, to close that door of sin in your life, in order for you to move on and be the productive person in life you desire to be.  I congratulate you for being that type of person, that will see whatever to the end.  It very well may be embarrassing to you as well as to your uncle, but having to live with apparently what you have had to live with for so long, it is now time (according to your statement) to close that big, black ugly door and chapter of your life.

    Wish you, your family and even your uncle all the best!

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Ray

      I realise for some it's confusing, but thank you for parts of your comment. I really wouldn't wish my uncle the luck as its his sin that did this to me when I was only 7/8 years old. If you get my drift. 

      I had 2 options.. 

      Tell the police or confront him, he doesn't know that I've remembered all theses years but grown up not speaking about it. I'm now 28 and due to being down and depressed it's all come out of the woodwork and will now rip the family apart. 

      I've had to tell my brother, sister even my own dad what had happened and it's been so hard a struggle for each day to be angry with myself for not speaking up all them years back and still his in the family. I blocked it out and everyday wish to block it out again!!! 

      D-day is judgement day for all of my family to finally support me by confronting Barrie and me saying "I remembered what you did to me as a child" and to see his face his reaction infront of my aunt his wife he denied too anything happening all them years back. 

      I may come across strong but believe me I aint. Could easily run away right now just afraid this will sende over the edge completely! 

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  • Posted

    Laura,

    Thank you for your reply.  You are braver than you even realize right now.  But, after all is said and done, you will see what I mean.

    Expect the worse to happen, as surprises even to close family members will be a shock.  Handle yourself with dignity and grace, in doing what you are planning to do.  Some of your close family members may probably turn against you, and will believe possibly the denial of your uncle.  And, it probably will tear apart those family members that will not believe you.  As gillian below states, "You have made a big decision".  I agree!  Expect anger to creep into your being when dealing with this in front of your family, and uncle.  This family is going to need assistance in some way to overcome this "blight", to continue to function as a family after your "surprise".  But like many of the people below states, "you need closure", as well as you have thus stated as well.

    Good luck, be strong, be vigilant for any denials uncle may make.  May my LORD God, and Lord Jesus Christ be with you, give you strength and the endurance to do what you feel you must do.  But, most of all, may They guide you in all you do during and after what you are planning to do.  Because this family will need some assistance from someone, to accept the surprise that some of them do not know is coming.  Hopefully, the majority of your family members will not abandon you in this your time of need, their love, their respect for you as a victim of sin.

    Ray

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    • Posted

      Thank you ray, to everyone. I've realised that some family members will be shocked, my cousins will know etc and how it will effect them either how they will be around me. 

      My mind can't switch off now, feel as if I'm counting down til Saturday. 

      Just feel numb like speechless, I've always knew what I wanted to say and now I can't even think. 

      Hopefully it is closure, as through the years I suppose I have gone off the rails and made huge mistakes. But without them mistakes it wouldn't make me now, not the old happy me cod I was turning a blind eye. 

      Relief for me I guess and my family, finally having a voice. 

      I thank you all for your support, Richard, Gillian, jason and ray. This site has helped and made each day not as lonely. 

      Xx

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  • Posted

    Laura,

    Thank you again for your response.  Just know that the four of us that have responded to you are supporters to and for you.  If I can figure out how to privately email you, I am willing to provide my own personal email.  Or please feel free to email me at anytime through this site.  Realizing what is to happen, I can only surmise that you again will need all the support you can receive, even if that support comes from people like the ones that have responded so far.  You are at the brink of the beginning to heal from this sin done to you.  Again, we all support you!

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    • Posted

      Hi Gill

      I went into work and just told them this weekend is when it's all go ahead, and that I won't be in the weekend. That I've got counselling at 11 tomorrow, so just giving them a heads up. 

      Other than that, just drained today, blocked up nose and just feel weak. 

      Went for my blood test, hurt this time around, wonder if it's because I don't feel well. Other than that just ill really. 

      How's your day been? 

      Xx

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    • Posted

      You will be drained Laura. It's to be expected. You have a lot going through your mind. Then blood test may of hurt because of this or maybe you where a little more tense than usual.

      Hope work where understanding. They seem to be and have your best interest at heart.

      Im ok today..I think this has been my best day so far in the last 12 week. Kind of put a few things to rest xxx

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    • Posted

      That's good you feel so much better when you know your had a good day. 

      Feels like along shot til it's a good day for me. Yeah got a bruise on my arm now. Can't even swallow tablets for cold cos I can't breathe through my nose. 

      Xx

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