Dad had a biopsy done on prostate

It was not the cause of the back pain but I was impressed. With my first biopsy I had dark 'old' blood in my semen for over six weeks. After the second one I was about to leave the hospital when blood started to spurt out of my back passage and I was kept overnight. A doctor doing rounds during the night asked why I was there. Ah, PSA terrorism he said most biopsies are unnecessary and often inaccurate. I had not been given an antibiotic that time and developed an infection that took weeks to clear up. 

I am not a doctor, and even if I were I'd not feel comfortable giving you advice. I do, however, have a background in mechanical engineering so hopefullyy I can think logically.

What I suggest we do is that I am going to give you some tips and ideas which you can use to  help you navigate through the options that are open to you. And, of course, I wil be by your side to give you whatever support you require that is within my capablitiy. You can then use the material as you see fit.

Your Dad seems to be strong-willed and at times you appear to have difficulty getting much needed information from him. How frustrating this must be for you, but do not despair!

During our early upbringing we -- the family 0f human kind, that is -- we're all brought up to behave in a manner that was generally acceptable to our immediate family, and later to the community at large. Unfortunately this happened to us when we were still at a very young age and still unable to be very selective in what we actually accepted.

I'm sure this happened to you as it did to me, and did to your Dad, and to the Doctror treating him. If the subject matter had anything to do with

our more intimate selves, then secrecy was really applied, big time. and very private issues such as our sexuality and sexual  organs really became taboo.

My guess is that your Dad is scared out of his wits by the very thought of discussing urination, bladder, male member, etc. and, quite beyond his control,  he just clams up. Try and be as gentle as you can with him!

Ask yourself, Nicki, who can you confide in something very intimate, a close family member or a more distant person not directly related to the family?

Winning your Dad''s trust, e.g. sharing something that only you two know anything about might, with a bit of luck, improve your communication.

Could your Dad's doctor be in a similar situation, having to discuss intimate details with someone of the opposite gender? You? Ask him and see what his response is.

Turning to our webs site, I note that some contributors tend to use acronyms extensively. Quite possibly they have gained the experience to do this, but how about you? I know from my own experience that this can slow down my rate of assimilation.

The remedy: use the Internet itself to give you the correct interpretation of a term. As an example, type in 'TURP described', or similar and see what comes back. In short, create your own little dictionary.

Changing the subject again, my understanding is that prostate cancer tends to advance quite slowly, hence the strategy of 'wait and see'. The advantage here is that you are probably not in any great rush, even if cancer were to be confirmed. Most contributors here seem to find the time to get second opinions, carry out background checks, and generally confirm the course of action they have chosen.

Please note: in my view, the doctors and specialists can only "suggest" a course of action, but the ultimate decision "Go" or "No Go" should always rests with you.

You have already shown that you understand this. You  must seek to make an informed decision; to make your deision as informed as ppossible, gather all the information you possibly can. weed out any data you have doubts about, examine your decision from different aspects, make final "polishing" changes, then go for it!

I'll end here for now, but please keep in touch if you so wish. I do hope everything turns out well in the long run, and in your Dad's and your own favor!

Warm regards,

Alan.

Neal