Dark times

Posted , 3 users are following.

I worked myself up into a state last night and resorted to self harm, it numbed the internal tourment for a little while but now I feel worse and so embaressed. My depression just seems to get darker everyday and I'm struggling to deal with day to day situations. I just want to run away and hide and not be around anyone because I don't feel good enough to be around people.

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  • Posted

    Hey Chelsea, 

    I too am a self harmer, it always seems to make things feel less intense at the time but I hate the scars that it leaves. I have to wear long sleeved tops, jackets and cardigans at all times to hide the scars. 

    I hope you didn't harm yourself to the point where you need medical attention, make sure you look after yourself. If you're a cutter, keep the wound clean and use E45 while it's open, then bio-oil for the scars. 

    It's hard but, try not to feel ashamed of your self harm. Most people do not understand it, why we do it. But, we do it to survive, to get through, to take away the pain if only for a little while and there is nothing shameful about that. 

    Next time you feel like harming do something, anything for ten minutes or so (play the piano, message somebody, read for a little bit) anything that may be able to take your mind off it and if you still feel like self harming ten minutes later, try and give yourself another ten minutes if you can. 

    Are you having talking therapy? It does help, don't suffer in silence. When I feel like self harming badly, I sometimes post on here first and it helps! 

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    • Posted

      No I didn't need medical attention and iam waiting on an appointment for talking therapy. I just feel in limbo at the moment and don't know any other release. I'm really lost xx
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    • Posted

      I'm glad to hear that, how long is it that you have to wait for therapy? 

      I started counselling about three weeks ago and it does really help but, it does take time - I still self harm despite CBT and anti-depressants. 

      There is a few things you can try to stop yourself harming, put ice on your skin - you get the pain but no harm done or scarring, or there is the elastic band trick and drawing lines across your arm with a red pen. Again, try and distract yourself when you feel the need to harm, you can message me whenever you need to. It's difficult because you are stuck at the moment as you have to wait till you can start moving forward. 

      If you do harm, try and cut lightly so that it can heal quicker and won't scar and don't forget to keep your blade clean. But I really hope you can fight the temptation, it's not a quick or easy journey that is for sure rolleyes xx

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